Page 95 of Redeemed

“General distrust, then?” Xander suggests. He’s still crouching in front of us, watching with concern as Haven gasps for air. “She was scared out of her mind last night, and it’s not like we’re safe people for her. She probably thought that hiding the truth was a way to keep us from hurting her more.”

“I don’t care,” Colton growls. “If she wants us to protect her, she can’t lie to us.”

My guess is it’s more than that. Colton doesn’t like that Haven is keeping things from us because it gives her power, even if it’s only a small amount. That’s not how we’ve ever dealt with her. Still, this isn’t the time to force things out of Haven, so I ignore Colton and squeeze her gently.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I whisper.

“Is that true? Were you lying last night?” Colton asks.

Fuck’s sake.

“N-no,” she manages.

At that, I glance at Xander and Colton to see my own thoughts reflected in their expressions.

“None of us believe you, angel.” Colton’s voice is hard and unforgiving as he glares down at her.

With a whimper, Haven cringes into me. Her breathing isn’t as choppy as it was a minute ago, thank fuck, but she’s still not out of the woods yet.

“If you’re not gonna be helpful, then leave,” I hiss at him. “Just let her calm down first.”

Rolling his eyes, Colton gets to his feet and stalks out of the room. Typical. He has plenty of strengths, and I’ll always count him as one of my closest friends, but he’s too impatient for his own good.

“Forget about him,” I tell Haven gently. “He’s just an ass. We’re gonna protect you, all right? That’s the deal.”

“But—but what if I c-c-can’t?”

“Can’t what, doll?” Xander asks.

“I can’t have sex,” she whispers. “I can’t do it, Xander.”

Frowning, Xander drags his gaze from her to me and then back down again. We both know she’s lying. She’s hooked up with plenty of people. Hell, just last night, she was with Aaron when—

Wait.She stopped Aaron before he got further than taking her shirt off. I heard what she said before Colton stormed inside that room. She was telling Aaron to stop, that she couldn’t do it.

Is that what’s happened every time we’ve seen her disappear with some random guy? She backed out every single time?

No. No, that’s a stupid thought.

“I think we all know you’re more than capable,” Xander says.

Haven shakes her head, and her breaths turn shallow again.Shit.We need to calm her down, not get her worked up again.

“Blow jobs,” Haven blurts. “That’s all I can do. Anything else… please don’t make me. Please.”

If she’s lying to get out of her part of our deal, she’s doing a damn good job. She sounds like she’s legitimately terrified.

“All right, all right.” Xander throws his hands up in surrender. “We’ll keep it to just blow jobs for now.”

Haven slumps against me in relief, and I almost feel bad. Xander can’t promise that. Neither of us can control what Colton does, and I’m not convinced Xander is planning to abide by his concession, anyway. I think it’s a ruse to get her to stop freaking out.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I’ve never been able to. Not even with…”

Haven doesn’t finish that sentence, and we don’t push her to. I’m not particularly sure I care. All I want is for her panic attack to subside so I can get her out of my lap.

Colton reappears, arms crossed. “Is she done yet?”

Sitting up, Haven takes the ice pack from my hands and presses it to her chest herself. “I’ll be fine.”

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