Page 20 of Tangled Trust

I can see this session isn’t getting me anywhere. I may as well be talking to the wall.

"How are things with your mother?"

Relationship?! Ha! Is she trying to be funny? The only meaningful relationship my mother has ever had is with a bottle.

"I don’t want to talk about her."

That’s it, Amanda. Shut it down. There's no point in flogging a dead horse.

"Your frustrations are rooted in your childhood, Amanda. I understand that these things aren’t easy to discuss, but they’re fundamental to your healing. You have to at least entertain the idea of forgiving your mother. Not for her sake, but for yours."

I shift in my seat. I’m edgy. My mother brings out the worst in me. Pain buried deep in my subconscious rears its vicious head at the mere mention of her name. It is as if I’m instantly transported back to a time when I had no control over the mystery in which I was caught up.

My pulse rate is climbing, so I get up out of the plush chair and start pacing the room. My therapist says nothing, leaving me prisoner to my own thoughts for too long before she breaks her silence.

"How is Sam?"

"The same. He’s out of rehab now, but we don’t see each other that often. He’s weak. Weak like her."

"Your mother?"

"No, the cleaning lady. Yes, my mother."

"Alcoholism is a disease, Amanda. I’m sure it can’t be easy on any of you."

"It’s easy enough for her. All she does is throw money at the situation in the hopes that it will fix everything. Sometimes I think money is a curse. It did nothing for Carter and me. All that money, and still we couldn’t make it work."

"Money is an inanimate object."

Oh, for shit’s sake! More folk wisdom? Really?

I can see that I’m getting nowhere today, so I check my watch and pray for the hour to pass.

I feel worse when I leave Dr. William’s office. If I were my pathetic mother’s child, I’d be plastered by now. But I’m not. I’m strong. Stronger than she’ll ever be. My brother may have inherited her weakness, but I’ll be damned if I piss away my life like that.

I’m going to get Carter back. That’s my only option.

7

ELLA

"Hello, Aunt Sue. How lovely of you to call. How are you?"

"Hello, my sweet girl. I'm doing so well. How are you doing?"

It has been a week since I last spoke to her. Something in her voice tells me she wants to tell me something.

"Sebastian’s been around, hasn’t he?" I ask, knowing full well what the answer is.

"I never could play a decent game of poker," Sue sighs. "I’m the worst fibber in the whole world."

"Was it awful?"

I feel guilty for leaving it up to my aunt to do my dirty work for me. I was too afraid to leave the letter at Sebastian and my apartment in case he came home early. The last thing I needed was for him to drag me back from the airport. As it is, I was a ball of nerves as I sat there waiting to board my flight.

"It was uncomfortable. But Seb was keen on reading the letter, so he didn’t linger long after I gave it to him."

"Ugh. I’m so sorry for lumbering you with such an unpleasant task, Aunt Sue."

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