Page 12 of Protected By the SEAL

“Is a tent the best idea?” I suddenly ask as I see it coming into view. “Won’t this attract attention? If anyone from the gang seesa tent, they will know that we’re inside it, right? It isn’t exactly like there are a lot of people camping.”

“There are a lot of dangers in the jungle.” Benji gives me a bit of a side-eyed look. “So, we need to be protected. I understand that it might be a risk, but it’s better than exposure to the elements and the animals around. Plus, the color is camouflage anyway, so I don’t think we’ll end up being that easy to find. Unless someone stumbles across this place, we will be okay.”

I know that Benji wants me to be confident in what he’s telling me, he doesn’t want me to be afraid, but I can’t help it. Fear is still creeping through my veins, making its icy presence known. I honestly don’t know if I’ll stop being scared for the rest of my life. I can’t remember what it felt like to just be normal, to be in my home thinking about usual life stresses such as what job I’m going to get to finally stretch my wings and fly. Like trying to find my place in the world. Such as what’s next for me… and not just what’s next in the following moment to keep me alive, but how I’ll exist in the future. What my life will be…

“Do you need a hand putting up the tent?” I don’t know how, but I’ll try my best. “I don’t like sitting around here doing nothing. I can assist you in one way or another.” I rise to my feet. “Just guide me, and I’ll do what I can.”

“I’m nearly done.” Benji shoots me a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m used to doing this. I can do it quickly.”

As if to prove his own point, he whips around and gets the tent done in seconds. “Wow, that’s impressive.”

“Well, before I worked in security, I was a Navy SEAL. So, I really am used to doing all of this. It’s what I do.”

Oh, wow, nowthatis impressive. That’s shocking me to my core. I’ve never met a person who’s been in the military before, but it explains a lot. It shows why he’s more accustomed to all of this, why he knows what he’s doing, why I need to listen.

I want to ask him about his time as a Navy SEAL, but as soon as I open my mouth to do so, I remember the people Benji’s fought and killed today. I don’t know if I can hear more stories like that. It’ll be too much for me. I’m sheltered, I always have been, and he’s completely removed from that in every way possible. I’ve seen nothing and he’s witnessed everything. He’s seen the depths of the world, death, all kinds of horrors, things that I can’t even begin to imagine. I don’t want to know any of it.

“Do you want to go inside or wait until I have it all set up?” He laughs. “I don’t mind either way.”

I poke my head inside the tent with a small smile playing on my lips. This is more than a little absurd. I feel like I’m stepping into a fancy hotel or something where I’ll be staying for the night, not into Benji’s tent in the middle of the jungle where both of our lives still might be in danger. That must be the effect that Benji has on me.

“A little small,” I comment as a tease. “But I think I can make it work. With a few touches here and there.”

He moves into the tent, sliding past me as he goes. The heat of his body races all the way through me, bringing those butterflies back to the pit of my stomach. My pulse picks up a notch too. I feel like I’m losing all control of my body just because he’s near me. I don’t know how we are going to lie in this small space together all night long, but I suppose we have to try. I’m going to have to keep myself in check, whatever these weird feelings are.I can’t act in a certain way because I’m worried that I won’t get another chance. My lifeisgoing to continue from here. It’s going to be fine…

11

BENJI

“Do you need anything else?” I ask Cassie as she practically curls her body around me. “Can I do anything for you?”

As she shakes her head no, which I already knew that she would do, I try to accept the fact that I’m only really continuing to talk because I need something to fill the silence. It isn’t awkward when we aren’t talking, but that’s a part of the problem. It allows my mind the freedom to wander, and where it keeps going is a very dangerous territory. I keep thinking about Cassie in a way that I know I shouldn’t. There’s a magnetic pull flowing between us and I like it all too much. I can’t get enough of it. All I really want to do is pull her even closer to me, maybe peel some of her layers off, explore more of her…

“I think it’s a good sign that we haven’t heard anything for a while,” I continue as my hand rests on her back. She’s surrounding me because she’s afraid, not because of any urges or anything, but if she hears my heart pounding… well, it might change things in a way that I don’t think either of us is really prepared for. “They might have gone away at last.”

“You think so?” Cassie murmurs in a voice so seductively sweet my head spins. “I hope so. I don’t want them coming for me again. Or my family. I’m hoping that this all getting messed up will make sure they leave the rest of them alone. It’s bad enough my being in this position, but if I think about them getting to Nick, Alena, Kevin, or the twins… urgh, I can’t stand it.”

“You have such a big family.” I don’t know why I make this comment. I already know that. “I’m an only child. It’s only me and Mom. It must be wild growing up surrounded by so many people all the time. Noisy, I imagine. My life was always quiet.”

Cassie pulls her eyes up to look at me, and instantly, I find myself drowning in her gaze. Holy shit, she’s beautiful. She’s actually breathtaking. There hasn’t been a girlfriend in my life who’s stripped the air away from me like that. Not a soul.

“Surprisingly, my life has always been pretty quiet as well… at least it was once the cameras started rolling.” As she sighs heavily, I can see that my suspicions about her life were real. It seems like it is kinda terrible, after all. “We had everything controlled then. It was always about portraying ourselves in the ‘right way’. And I did it for a while. I think I was probably the best at it out of all my brothers and sisters, maybe because I was the oldest one, but I never enjoyed it. I like beingme.”

“I see.” I wish there were something reassuring that I could say to that, but I was raised to always be myself and that’s who I’ve been, authentically Benji at all times. I couldn’t imagine being anything else. “That sounds really hard.”

“The hardest part actually came afterward,” she admits. “As soon as I really started to see that everyone knew too much about me… I found it creepy. I like my privacy. I enjoy having a bit of a mystery about me.” She giggles girlishly, a really sweetsound which makes my stomach do flip-flops. “Sorry, I know that probably sounds a little lame…”

“Not at all. Idoagree with that part.” I’m far too excited to be able to connect with her on this. “I hate it when people live their lives through social media and have to express every tiny thought in their mind, every single thing that they do. It’s a lot.”

Someone I dated a few years ago was like that, and it was one of the main things that tore us apart. Not only was I plastered all over the Internet all the time, which I hate and shouldn’t really happen in my line of work, not that she ever understood that, but she was also glued to her cellphone constantly. It might as well have been a member of our relationship. I found it a constant competition to get her attention, and the sad thing is I always lost. The Internet won every single time.

We share a smile, one flooded with understanding, which brings us even closer together. The rational part of my brain keeps screaming at me to stop it, to give it up because it’s getting messy already, but I can’t stop myself. Unfortunately, any sensibilities don’t win out against this undeniable sizzling thing between us. It’s indescribable and incredible.

I’m pretty sure that Cassie is experiencing it too. It’s there, dancing behind her eyes, begging me to kiss her. God damn it, if I weren’t such a professional, I would have done so already. It’s only because I know that it will cost us both too much…

I’ll lose my job. I don’t think that Max will be happy with me for falling for a client I’ve rescued under such wild, stressful circumstances. She will find herself in an awkward position as well, I’m sure, with her family and the media coverage to follow. On top of that, and worst of all, I’m bound to actually lose Cassie. She has a life here in Puerto Rico with her family. My life isn’t onthis island. As soon as we find ourselves away from this jungle, we will be separated in an instant.

That fact already feels painful without my adding on another layer to it. I might not be able to contain the way that I’m feeling about Cassie in the heat of the moment, but I do just about have the power to prevent myself from making it worse. I think. If I put our safety first and shove everything else out of my head, being a professional, we will be fine.

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