Page 23 of Protected By the SEAL

“But can’t you just let him ride with me?” Cassie begs. “I don’t think he needs to be in handcuffs.”

“Miss, just go and do what you’ve been told to do and let us do our jobs. Right now, you’re making this last longer, and this is a nightmare enough. Everything can be organized down at the station. Miss, please step back.”

I’m shoved into the back of a police car, which is finally the moment that I can look Cassie in the eyes and see how she’s doing. She doesn’t look banged up and hurt, which is good, I couldn’t be happier about that, but there’s a pain in her eyes. We don’t like the idea of being separated, especially after everything that we’ve been through. But at least this is the beginning of the end of the drama. Once we get ourselves all sorted out, I can finally get her safe and home. At last.

“I love you,” she mouths to me with tears in her eyes, watching as the car pulls away. “I love you, Benji. I love you.”

I want to mouth it back so she knows that there’s still something there between us, but I don’t get a chance. The car pulls away and takes me out of her sight before I can. Instead, I’m left stewing in my handcuffs, wondering how long it will be beforeI can see her again. This sensation of being taken from her is killing me. I can’t protect her when I’m nowhere near her.

The only way I’m going to get to see her again is if I convince the cops that I wasn’t a part of the fighting in a bad way. As long as I can make them see that I was there to protect Cassie the whole time, then this will be fine. As long as they understand why I had to kill the people I did. I don’t want the deaths of Alex or the gang members to come back on me in a bad way…

Oh, God, it doesn’t look great, does it? My murdering people, whatever the reason for it. Especially since I don’t feel comfortable with any of it myself. The cops aren’t going to love that either, and it might go against me… urgh, who knows?

I huff loudly, the exhaustion still getting through me, and I lean my head back on the seat. My eyes slide closed, and I wonder if I could get in a moment of sleep while I’m here. It really does feel like I haven’t slept in forever. The weariness really is getting to me, and I could use some time to just relax, to get my head around all of this before I have to talk about it again.

Oh, God, I’m going to have to talk about this again. I’ll have to go through every damn detail of it with the police, which is going to be a fucking nightmare. I can barely even remember a lot of what happened, it’s all so blurry. And there are parts of it which I don’t know, such as the video she made, and there are parts that I can’t say as well. I can’t tell anyone that we slept together or that will feature far too much in the case. That doesn’t need to be a part of everything.

I’m sure that Cassie won’t tell the police either. That’s irrelevant to everything else. That’s just for me and her. A little secret thatwe will carry with us until… well, until we see one another once more. Then I have no idea what will happen.

20

CASSIE

“And that is everything?” the police officer asks me with a slight disbelieving look in her eyes. “All you can remember?”

“Y–Yes,” I stammer back. “Yes, I think so. I don’t know, it’s all been a bit of a blur. I can’t really remember. I mean, one minute I’m heading to a job interview, hoping that my life is going to get better, and the next minute, I’m in the middle of some fucking jungle being tied up and told that I’m going to be traded and used for some bullshit ransom plan, and then… then Benji rescued me, and you won’t even let meseehim now. I don’t know how he’s doing. I think he’s under arrest!” I throw my hands in the air in frustration. “I need to know what’s going on with him. Will he be set free? Why aren’t you telling me anything?”

“As I’ve already said, Miss Jones,” she tells me in a cool but clearly angry tone of voice, “I can’t tell you about anyone else in this place. I have no information, and even if I did, it’s confidential at the moment. It’s under investigation.”

I gasp out angrily, frustration bubbling through me as again, she gives me nothing. I’m not one of the people under investigation here. I shouldn’t be treated like I’m a common criminal and neither should Benji. It’s utterly pissing me off that the police won’t give me anything I’m asking for. Especially after Benji did so much for me…

God, my heart skips about twenty beats when I think about Benji, about how much I want to be back with him. I haven’t told the cops anything about us because they don’t need to know about us, and I don’t want to be judged for being a little crazy either, but I really am head over heels in love with him. I can’t imagine a single day without him now. He’s my whole world.

“Okay, I’m going to give you this statement to read through, and I want you to sign it if you agree it’s correct to the best of your knowledge. After which time, we will make some decisions about what is going to happen next.”

Thankfully, the woman leaves me alone in the room to read through the statement that Ijustmade, so I don’t see how I’m going to make any changes to it, but I at least relish the time to get my head around everything. I do what’s been commanded of me and run my eyes over the words, but I’m not really taking any of them in. It was bad enough to go through it another time with words. I don’t need to read about it as well. One time is more than enough. But if this is what gets me back to my hero, to the man that I’ve ensured the police know is my hero, then I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever they want…

Oh, my God.I don’t intend to let any of the words sink in, but some of them do, and that unexpectedly brings emotions flooding to the surface. It has been a lot, more than I ever thought someone like me could suffer and survive, but here I am.I’m living, and that’s amazing. The tears flood down my face, and while some of them are sad, a lot of them are happy.

I’m also falling apart because I don’t know where I go from here. I don’t know what my life will be like. I’m afraid that I hurt my family with that phone call when I thought that I would die. I don’t know how I’ll react to them again or how they will take me in. I also don’t know if my dad will want me back on the TV show after all this drama, if there even is a TV show anymore. If I haven’t ruined it with that video.Ifthe video even reached anyone. Benji’s boss was supposed to be stopping it, and the gang might not have had the time… God, I don’t even know what’s happened with that video and what effect it will have on my life.

I don’t want to be back on TV, I don’t want anyone noticing me, but I’m going to have very little control over this now. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to do what I want again. The adult freedoms I’ve claimed for myself might be ripped away.

Urgh, that’s agonizing to think about. Imagining life back at home is so hard it hurts. Imagining life without Benji is even worse. I don’t know what he’s thinking, what his plans are for our future, but I can’t cope without him. Even long-distance will be too much for me because I like to know that he’s within touching distance… but his life isn’t in Puerto Rico, nor is his work. I don’t know if our short time together will be enough for him to give everything up. Even if I would for him, if he asked.

I sob a little harder with my head on the desk, a sense of hopelessness overcoming me, because although I might be free now, away from the gang and any ransom plot, the future is terrifying as well. The unknown.

“Miss, is everything okay?” A different police officer leans his head around the door to check in on me. I must be being watched and they think I’m making a silly scene in here. “Do you need anything? Water or anything like that?”

“Just a pen,” I sniff back. “So I can sign this. Everything is fine. I just need to… to confirm that this is right.”

I get the pen rapidly and scribble my signature across it. I want this done now, I want it over, I want to get out of here as quickly as I can. I’m done with this, I’m completely fed up with this whole place. I need to get out even if I don’t know where I’m going. No future, good or bad, is going to be sorted out while I’m in the police station, in limbo.

I don’t know how much time passes, but eventually someone comes into the room to let me know that I’m no longer needed. I do ask about Benji, but yet again, I get nothing back. If someone doesn’t let me know soon what’s going on, I’ll lose it. A lot of emotions are being bottled up inside me, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pushing them down.

The waiting room is practically empty until I stubbornly take a seat to wait for him. Of course, it makes me anxious to do so, knowing that the gang members caught are probably in here as well, and if they’re not properly arrested, then they might well walk past me, giving them sight of me and potentially access to me as well, but this is for Benji and I’ll do anything for him.

“Miss, the door is this way,” the police officer tells me as she points me toward the exit. “You don’t need to stay here.”

---