Page 38 of Sinister Savior

Mario purses his lips and shakes his head. I can see the indecision warring in his thoughts. I've seen it each time I asked him what he'd do when this was all over, and now that it's over, he still doesn't know what to do. He is genuinely torn, and I want to rush to him and pleadwith him again to run away with me. I'd have told him about our baby if the priest hadn't interrupted. I want to do that now, before he tells those men an answer. It may change everything for him, and I hope it does.

"Ervine?" Mario asks, and the dark-haired man from the rescue car steps forward on command. Mario grits his teeth, and then his eyes draw up to the new man's face. "What do you say?" It's like this man is Mario's guide or confidant. As if he has more skin in the game and always has, so much so that Mario trusts this man over all the others in the room, including the priest. How can that be?

"Paolo is down for the count, Brother. The DA is going to punish him to the fullest extent of the law. He'll be cut off from everyone, unable to run his organization, probably put in a max-security lockup on the other side of the country." Ervine pauses and glances around at the faces of the other men. "You bought yourself the right to do as you please. Your life is your own. You can leave if you want to."

This answer doesn't seem to make Mario's decision any easier. He scowls and says, "But what do you say?"

Ervine's head drops, as does the priest’s. It's strange the way they seem to mirror each other, light and darkness, one on each of Mario's shoulders. One pushing him to remain locked in a life of crime and sin, the other reaching to rescue Mario from those shackles and offer him a new hope. I have to restrain myself again because this baby growing inside me needs stability, not the anxiety-inducing chaos of Mafia life.

"I say we need you. If you don't take the helm, another snake will rise and take Paolo’s place. We need a leader who can pull us together." I hate Ervine for saying that, hate him to my core. But Mario seems to understand. His face softens, his eyes sparkling. He turns to the priest.

"What say you, Beckham?"

The priest looks up at the strange name, and I'm starting to understand why the man let us stay with him all the while knowing what would happen. "I don't go by that name anymore. Thomas Beckham is dead. I am Father Thomas of Our Lady of Resurrection." He presses his lips into a line and sighs, then continues. "And I say you have a way out, which is what you've always wanted. Which is what I purchased you when you came to me, knowing I had found my way out. You kept my secret all this time, and I will continue to keep yours.

"These men, too, will continue to keep your secret if you move away from this former life which you so vehemently abhor. We all know you will return to do what's right for this city and your Family if you must. But I know it's in your blood. That you care too much to run."

I feel tears welling up at the idea that Mario could ever stay here. The killing and thievery. The way light and dark clashes and men fight for everything. Does he really want me to stay in this? Why?

But then Agnus's words come back to me. She said Mafia life isn't so bad. She's been doing this a while, and she seems happy enough, though her living conditions aren't exactly what I would expect if it were me. I just don't know if I can do it, trade my freedom and moral conscience just to be with the man I love, whose baby I'm carrying.

"If," Mario says, pausing then continuing for emphasis, "I continue on here, if I take this place of leadership which you all hope I will, things will change." My soul is heavy as I listen to him speak. I almost turn and walk away. I know I can slip out in the craziness outside and be gone. He may never find me. But I don't. I have to hear what he's going to say first.

"Any man who doesn't follow me strictly will be cut off, his crimes turned over to police who are loyal to me to be tried and convicted. And everything my brother did will be recompensed. No more slavery—people aren't objects. No more senseless murder." He punctuates his words with a bold stare at the men in the corner of the room. "I am judge and jury, and my word goes."

I can't listen to this any longer. I slip back up the hallway and into the room, debating whether I want to stay with him, whether I can deal with it emotionally. Mario is a good man. He has a good, kind heart. But I've seen him kill. The men he took out were ruthless, and though my sinister savior did only what was necessary, it was still killing. It was still wrong.

Pressing my hand to my stomach, I close my eyes and wait. He will return, and I will have to tell him whether I'm staying or going. He will have to give me an answer himself, about what we're doing. And then life will change forever for both of us. I've been climbing this mountain for so long, this tiny jaunt to the summit seems exhausting and insurmountable. But I must climb until the journey is complete.

The door opens, and I don't even look up. I know it's him. He pauses next to me, and I see his stockinged feet. Then I feel his hand caress my head and trace a line across my cheek to my chin. He forces me to look up at him, and I blink away tears.

"You heard that?" he asks, and I nod, being as truthful as I can. His face softens. "What do you say?"

Finally, he's asking my opinion, the only one that should matter to him. I don't know what answer he gave them, or if he even gave them one. All I know is the weight on my chest.

"If you are a priest, how will we be together?" My honest question causes him more pain. His forehead creases and his eyes darken.

"We cannot."

"And if I refuse to be with a Mafia man?" More storms collect in his eyes at my next question, and he sighs, but he doesn’t answer, so I continue. "And if I tell you that I'm carrying your child, and I've kept it a secret because I don't know if I can be here, if I can stomach all the killing and violence…?"

Mario's eyebrows rise and he seems to hold his breath. At first, I think maybe it's pain he's enduring, but he lowers himself to one knee andpresses a hand to my stomach. "Is it true?" His eyes search mine as I nod.

"It is." So much hinges on this revelation, but I already see in his eyes what he wants. He loves this city and he hates what his brother has done to it. The violence and gang wars are out of control—that's what forced Tom and me to move out to the outskirts. Even being naive to the entire organized crime world, I knew that. But Mario has so much to offer them. I've seen the way his men respect him, and they've only been together a month or so.

"Then I say I have to be a father first, before I'm a priest, before choosing to lead my Family to clean up this city." The storms subside, and he presses a hand tighter to my stomach. "And I have to protect my woman at all costs."

I want to believe that means he can take me away, but I know his heart is here. "And if I can't stay here? If it's too much?" My heart wants to sink, but it bobs on the surface, tethered to some ridiculous hope that Mario can be both the priest and the man who saves the city, both the savior for the lost and the man who loves me.

"I give you my word, as I have many times over along this path, that I will protect you. You are my utmost priority, Alice. I can and will lead you as my wife, as the mother of my child. And I can do so while keeping you far from the evils of my Family and the Organization. You will be safer than you ever have been." His lips brush over mine, and I know it doesn’t matter how much I hate this life. I have to support him because I need him in my life.

"Oh, Mario," I whimper, and I lean into the kiss. Our lips part, and he hungrily devours my kiss for a moment. I don't have a choice but to love him because my body and the child growing in my womb aren’t the only things tied to him forever. My heart is too.

If I'm going to be stuck somewhere, I'd rather it be where my heart feels at home. Even if it is with a made man.

28

MARIO

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