Page 25 of Wicked Union

"Oh, I really hope you are. Imagine having a new little baby around the house. It'll make it seem less lonely." Her heart is still aching in the wake of Jasper's death a few weeks ago. All of our hearts are. A baby won't fix that, at least not for me. For me, things will grow even more complicated. I'm not sure I even want to know if I’m pregnant, but after weeks of feeling overly emotional and slightly nauseous, it’s the only thing that makes sense.

"Well, it won't be quiet, that's for sure." I don't smile as I speak, but I am trying to keep the mood light. Melody doesn't need to know my reservations about this potential baby.

Yes, if I have a son, he will be the heir to my father's throne and for that reason, I feel a nervous anticipation of his arrival. But hewill technically be the heir to Tito's throne as well. It's something I can't change, even though the contract states that he will lead the Peralta organization. In fact, his surname will be Peralta from the time he's born.

"Mom will be so in love. You know she loves babies. It would bring her so much joy again." She points up a row, and I look at the overhead sign. It indicates feminine health and care products are in this aisle, so we veer left.

"Yeah," I sigh, understanding my sister's joy over it all. "But she'll just say it's Jasper's spirit or something weird." I stop in front of the shelves that hold condoms, spermicides, a variety of lubes, and a few types of pregnancy tests.

It's sad to me that like my life, dictated for me before I had a chance to even make a choice, my son or daughter will be born into a world with no actual choices of their own. Like cattle born to be slaughtered for meat, my baby will come into this world and know only one thing—a life destined to be controlled by the traditions of his or her family lineage. A daughter will be married off for convenience and alliances. A son will lead even if he doesn’t want to.

It doesn't matter that I don't even know whether I'm pregnant yet. It's inevitable, and when it happens, whether now or later, I will be bringing a child into this world to be a slave. Somehow, it doesn't feel right to me. But I have no choice, as my mother before me and her mother before her.

"There is no heir right now, Aria." Melody lays her head on my shoulder as I reach for one of the tests, and I hear the ache in her voice. Dad will never let her lead the family. This business is too dangerous for that, and Melody isn't the sort to be in charge. Even if she was, no one will respect her. She's a woman and thisis a man's world, and besides, she doesn't have the personality for it. I believe I do, but being married to Tito means only one thing—dissolving the Peralta name for him to take over. I won't allow that.

"What do you think of this one?" I ask her, changing the subject. The topic makes me uneasy, but my sister doesn't seem to notice even though she knows me better than anyone else in this God-forsaken world.

"He will be the heir to both thrones, Aria. How will Papa's businesses survive without a firm leader? Will Tito take them?" Her question angers me, but not because I'm upset with her curiosity. I'm stuck in a horrible situation I don’t want to be in because I wanted to save my family.

If I'd never said a word, I wouldn't be married right now. But we would have lost our home and Dad would be hopeless. Of course, Jasper would still be alive too, which only makes me regret my decision more.

"My son will never run the Ramiro organization." I look her dead in the eyes as I pick up another test and hold it in my hands. "I've read the contract. If I am pregnant, which I don’t know if I am, but if I am, he will be the new heir to my father's throne. If it's a boy. There are so many ifs right now. I just don't want to think about it."

I grab her hand and start walking toward the front of the store with the test in hand. She knows better than to question me when I'm in a mood, and she keeps quiet as I pay for the test and we head out to my mother's car. I don't even want Tito's drivers to know I stopped at a pharmacy, so Melody had Mom's driver escort us.

I climb into the back seat, and she sits next to me as I crunch the white paper bag down around the test. It won't fit in my pocket, but I can make it as inconspicuous as possible. I didn't bring a purse with me or a jacket, but we're heading to my parents' house, not home to Tito's. Dad will be in his office fussing over work, while Mom lies in bed still in heavy grief. I won't have anyone to truly hide it from.

"What do you think Mom and Dad will say?" Melody asks, resting her head on my shoulder as the car pulls into traffic.

"I'm not planning to tell anyone right away if I am pregnant. You know how many women miscarry in the first trimester. I couldn't handle it emotionally if that happened." It's a fair excuse for why I'm keeping things a secret, and Melody sighs her agreement.

"Yeah, it would destroy Mom. She would be devastated all over again. She doesn't need that."

I pat Melody's arm and agree with her. "Yes, which is why I'm asking you not to tell a soul I even have this test. It's possible I'm not even pregnant yet, but if I am, it's our secret until I'm certain things are going well."

Melody hooks her pinky around mine and squeezes. "Pinky promise," she says with a smile.

I'm so thankful that my sister and I share this close bond. My family is everything to me. It always has been. Ever since our younger brother died, the only thing that has mattered to us kids is each other.

"You get one set of siblings," Mom used to say. I'm sure she'd be saying it now if Jasper's death wouldn't have hit us so hard.

Well, my set of siblings are closer to me than any friend group I'll ever have. And now that it's just me and Melody, we are clinging to each other for dear life.

At my parents' house, Melody goes with me upstairs to our formerly shared bathroom. The Jack and Jill style bedrooms were pointless. Most nights, I camped out in her room on her floor or even slept in bed next to her. Even well into adulthood. Now my room sits empty but untouched. It is as I left it. The bed is even still made. I slip into the bathroom and lock the door on Melody's side but stare into the darkened room I used to occupy.

When Jasper moved out and got his own place, they immediately emptied it and repurposed it into a sewing room for Mom. Of course, he took his furniture with him, leaving the room mostly empty, anyway. But my things weren't needed at Tito's. They wouldn't fit in with his modern design, anyway. And now that I'm looking at my things beginning to collect dust after the few months I've been gone, I wonder if they will ever remodel it. Will Dad claim it as a man cave? Will Melody own it and turn it into her personal walk-in closet?

Or will grief claim it, sealing it up as a tomb where happy memories lived but now only pain exists? Will it sit there untouched for as long as they live in this house because my leaving was followed by Jasper's murder and the two are forever connected?

I shut the door to my past in more ways than one when I close the door to that bedroom. My life in this home will never be the same, even if my plan to break away from Tito but keep his money goes how I want it to. I don't even know if I can sleep in that room. The last memory I have in there is with Jasper, and I feel too guilty to go in that room and sit and remember it.

My hands shake as I do the test. It makes a mess I have to clean up, and I wash my hands while it processes. I stare at my own reflection wondering what sort of mother I'll be. I make choices that affect people in negative ways because I can't know what will happen in the future. I suppose it's that way with any person, but somehow, I feel like my choices carry a heavier weight.

I'm not even surprised when I look at the white plastic wand I just pissed on and see the two pink lines. I've had sex with Tito so many times, and not once has he even tried to use protection. I'm going to have his baby—my baby. Hopefully, the heir for my father's throne. According to the contract, my firstborn son will carry the Peralta name into the future.

But Tito will fight me. In fact, I know he'll probably begin controlling everything I do and where I go. He'll force me to eat foods he thinks are healthy, and he'll limit how much time I can spend with my family. He'll box me in, make me dependent on him, brainwash me into believing ridiculous things like how we can lead together. All in an attempt to have the power and control. He's already made it clear that he wants an heir. But he's read the contract too—which only leads me to believe he has no intention of upholding it.

"Are you done?" Melody asks, tapping on the door.

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