Page 32 of Silver Fox's Intern Dilemma

"Fine, Dr. Thornton." The short, one-word answers were frustrating to me. I'd asked her several times during this surgery alone, and now that we were almost finished, she seemed very much not fine at all.

"Nurse, please take Dr. Chen's spot and let her go sit down." I knew showing my concern for her was risky. The only reason to do this was because I felt she was failing professionally or because I was concerned with her performance. Neither were true. I was really just concerned with her as a friend, or more than a friend. We hadn't really discussed it, but I was ready totell this woman I loved her in every sense of the word, and the minute that HR meeting was over, I intended to tell her.

"Dr. Thornton, I'm fine," Sophia protested, and she squared her shoulders, but I could see clearly that something was wrong.

The nurse looked up at me as I laid the clamp with the resected tumor on the specimen tray and reached for the surgical needle. She looked worried, and I scowled but nodded to her to stay put for the moment. Sophia was being stubborn, which was typically a good trait for a doctor to have when they knew they were right, but in this instance, I felt something was off about her.

"Keep the retractor open. I have to get these sutures in now." I focused again on the task, taking the needle to the incision site. I put in seven stitches there and then allowed Sophia to remove the chest retractor and relax for a second. As I began stitching the exterior incision, however, she pressed the back of her wrist to her forehead. Her hands had blood on them, but I could see her trying to avoid getting it on herself.

I looked up at her, and the expression in her eyes was hazy, confused, maybe. Then she blinked.

"I don’t feel so good,” Sophia mumbled, and I barely had time to react.

"Nurse!" I shouted, but Sophia was already on her way down. She hit the floor like a ton of bricks and instruments clattered everywhere. My heart leapt into my throat at the sight, but I couldn’t very well rush around and touch her. I had a patient with an open chest cavity who needed to be stitched up.

"Get a gurney," I barked and tore my eyes away from Sophia. I had to focus. This was no time to let my emotions get out of control. This was the exact reason the hospital non-frat policy existed.

If I let my feelings for her or my concern about her change the way I treated this patient, I would only prove to HR thatI was unable to work with someone I had feelings for. I was shaking, my shoulders tense, but I stared down at the open chest cavity in front of me and took a deep breath.

"Get Dr. Briggs in here now. Get her out of here. Take her to emergency."

If I so much as stuck a needle into this man, I was going to mess up, so I waited. It took Dr. Briggs only five minutes to rush in, and when he stood opposite me, I handed him the needle and said, "I need you to do this."

"Something wrong?" he asked, but he took the needle without complaint.

I stayed there. He was only a resident, and he wasn't allowed to perform surgery by himself, but he was already doing simple ones, and sutures to close an incision were something he had mastered.

"I just watched Dr. Chen collapse and I'm feeling a bit shaken. I want to do what I know is best for the patient." My firm statement left no room for him to question me, though I knew later on there would be lots of questions. He was the first one, after all, who had seen the shift between us.

It was torture waiting for him to finish up. I said nothing to him as I scrubbed out, and then I raced to the emergency room. It was no more than twenty minutes, but by the time I got to Sophia's side, she was sitting up with a glass of water, sipping it carefully. Her scrubs had a bit of blood, but I knew it belonged to the patient. And she looked so tired and pale, I thought for sure that something horrible was wrong. What had appeared to be exhaustion from work could be anything from a brain disorder to a heart condition.

"Jack, I'm so sorry," she said, setting the cup to the side. The nurse who was checking her vitals nodded at me and rushed out as soon as she heard my first name and not my title. I knew thecat was out of the bag now, or if it wasn't, it would be soon. I'd have no choice but to go to HR now.

"Soph, I was so worried." Without thinking, and definitely without her permission, I reached for the tablet on the counter. Sophia's chart was on there, and I had to know what tests they were ordering. Of course, the typical round would be a complete blood count and metabolic panel, but with a woman, they'd also potentially run hormone panels too. My mind raced with the possibilities. I was a surgeon, not a diagnostician, but I knew enough.

"Jack, please."

She reached for me, but my eyes were already poring over the tablet screen. She sounded fearful, though, not upset. Whatever it was, I could help her. I had to know I couldn’t lose her. Not now, not when we were so close to having what I knew we both wanted.

"Please, Jack.” Sophia was crying now, and I didn’t know why.

They had ordered the exact tests I suspected, with the exception of one. No pregnancy test. But why?

I raised my eyebrows and then looked up at her. "They are testing for everything but pregnancy… That's not right. I need to make them add that in. If you're—" My brain caught up with my words as I spoke and my hands felt heavy. I let them fall to my sides and almost dropped the tablet. The only reason they'd skip that test was if she told them she was on her period—or that she was already pregnant.

"Soph?" I said, taking the few steps to her bedside. I sat down, and she nodded, then smiled. Then she swiped at her tears and covered her mouth, but though she seemed happy and almost on the verge of laughing, her forehead was scrunched up in fear.

"You're…" I couldn't say it. I didn't want to jinx this. I searched her face with my gaze, and she nodded again.

"Yes, I am.” When she blinked, large crocodile tears streamed down her cheeks and she reached for my hand. "But they called my parents already. They'll be here any second, and I don't want them to know yet."

"You're having my baby?" I asked again, still not believing it. No wonder she'd been so tired and sick. I was such a fool. That first time we had sex… I messed that up, and now…

Sophia laughed and cried and wiped her tears away again and nodded, and a sudden burst of glee flooded me. I gripped both sides of her face and leaned in and kissed her, letting the tablet slip from my lap onto the floor. It clattered there while I stole the most passionate kiss from her I'd ever felt. None of this was supposed to happen, but not a single bit of it felt out of place.

"My God, woman, I love you." I kissed her again as she gripped my biceps and tried to push me off her, and we both chuckled.

"Dr. Thornton?" The same nurse stood in the doorway, and I pulled away, not even ashamed at all anymore. "Dr. Chen's parents are here."

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