Page 42 of Christmas in His Arms

The warmth of a body in bed with me was a welcome shift, though it did spark a bit of anxiety. If Ryan slept over, there was a chance Mom had seen his car still out front. If not, how the hell was he going to get out of here without being seen? My mind wanted to go into overdrive immediately, but Ryan stirred and I felt his hands as they pulled me hard against his body.

His gesture wasn't the only thing that was hard, either. His dick was swollen and ground against my leg as he positioned himself to hold me better. I thought of the sex we had last night and how it had made me so relaxed, I just fell asleep. I didn't even remember his staying here, and if I'd have been coherent, I never would've allowed it.

"Good morning," he murmured against my forehead as he pressed a kiss to my skin. His arms around me felt amazing, but there was still a part of me that felt resistant and hesitant.

I hadn't given him any reason to think I'd stay in town. My protests were very clear. I was really uneasy about living in Evergreen Falls ever again, and I still wanted a career. If I movedback here, the only thing that remained for me was something I hated. I didn't want to run a line of hardware stores. I wanted to do the marketing I was doing in Chicago, or New York. That part didn’t matter.

"Good morning," I mumbled quietly. "You should get out before Mom and Dad wake up." My gaze flicked to the curtains where the light was already sneaking into the room. It meant it was past eight thirty and Mom and Dad would be up any minute.

"What if I stayed?" he asked, and I jerked my head up in shock.

"What? No!" I hissed, fear creeping into my chest.

"Now listen… I know your father really well, Carrie. I know he's a hard man at times, but I know he loves you. And I love you. And I want to be with you…" He paused for a moment, looking very hesitant and concerned. "Do you want to be with me?" he asked, but the question was laced with insecurity. Of course, he'd be insecure about that. I'd all but told him I was jetting off to Chicago at my first chance.

"Ryan, of course I want to be with you, more than anything." Pressing my lips together thoughtfully, I continued. "But you spent years never wanting children. I'm having a baby, and I can't change that. And what will the town say? What will Dad and Mom say about us? You're forty-four years old?—"

"Forty-five, Carrie… And the age gap doesn’t matter to me. Let them all talk. I love you."

"That's seventeen years, and you think my Dad isn't going to freak out?" I winced as I said it out loud. Ryan was right. Age was just a number to me too, but people would definitely talk.

He sighed and propped himself up on an elbow. "Walt's opinion is the only one that matters, and I feel like I already know what he's going to say. I just need to know if you want a future with me… Here, Jennings, Chicago, New York—it doesn't matter to me where we do it. I want a life with you."

Tears welled up in my eyes because I was afraid, but I nodded. "I do want a life with you. I am so in love." I tried to blink them back, but they streamed down my face. Ethan would be flipping out if he knew what was happening right now.

"Then, now is the best time to tell them. You have a shower. Relax a bit. Let me handle this, because I know how emotional it can be in early pregnancy. You don't need to stress yourself out at all. I will make sure things are settled for you before you come downstairs, and we'll move forward together. Alright?" He pushed the hair off my forehead and curled it around my ear, and though I was terrified, I trusted him.

Ryan got out of bed and dressed himself, though he left his button-down open in the front and didn't put his shoes back on. He winked at me as he slipped out of the room, and I lay there staring, wondering how this was going to go over. I was already totally ashamed of my behavior, sneaking around having sex and risking my career. But the trust I felt in Ryan was enough to encourage me to get out of bed.

I got in the shower and washed my hair. My groin was tender from sex, but it only reminded me of how close I felt to Ryan last night. I washed myself, and when I was done in the shower, I put on clean panties, a bra, a sweater, and new leggings. Even this early in pregnancy, my jeans weren't fitting right. I had already gained a few pounds. I needed to go shopping, but first I needed to jump this last hurdle. After that, Ryan and I had some tough conversations ahead.

When I opened my bedroom door and stood on the landing at the top of the steps, I figured I'd hear Mom crying and Dad shouting, but there was only light banter and the sound of bacon frying. The scent wafted up to meet me, making my stomach growl and my mouth water in anticipation. I stood there trying to discern what they were saying, but I couldn't make it out over the popping of grease.

So I crept down the steps, my legs trembling, until I stood at the bottom of the stairs, hesitantly looking toward the kitchen and dining area. My hands shook. My mouth was pasty. My palms were sweating. And Ryan was serving both of my parents breakfast with a smile, and his shirt was still open. I didn’t know what to even think of it. Did they think he just slept on the couch or something? I was panicked and worried.

"Come on in, bacon's almost done," Ryan called. As he did, Dad looked up at me with a smile. Mom's expression was more of worry than happiness, but she forced a smile too.

I tiptoed in and sat down at my normal spot. It was strangely quiet for a few seconds as Ryan brought a plate of bacon in and set it out. Then he served me a helping of eggs, a pancake, and a few slices of bacon before serving himself.

My mind was frazzled. My eyes swept over my parents' faces again, and I thought my morning sickness was going to start acting up. I didn't know what Ryan had said or what they knew, and I wanted to know but I didn't want to ask. My mind was racing and my heart was still terrified.

When Ryan laid his hand on mine, I looked him in the eye. "It's okay," he said softly and nodded. Then Mom cleared her throat.

"Carrie." Her word hung in the air, punctuated with tension. I turned back to Ryan, and he smiled again, lowering his head so I could see the compassion in his gaze.

"How late did you stay up last night?" Dad grunted. I sensed the sternness in his tone initially, but he looked me in the eye and nodded at me.

The tears were instant. I couldn’t stop them. I covered my mouth with my hand and nodded, trying to keep the sobs from coming out. Ryan squeezed my hand, and I turned to him but my mind was still overwhelmed.

"It's okay…" His voice was so soft, so compassionate. I didn't believe what I was hearing. I turned back to Dad.

"I'm so sorry, Daddy. I never meant for this to happen. I am in love. Ryan loves me, and yes, we're so different in age, but no one has ever clicked with me like this and I don't want to be alone and raising a baby, and?—"

Dad's chuckle caught me off guard. Mom's head drooped a little, but I watched her shoulders rise and fall in a sigh, and she smiled at me. I felt sick and dizzy, and Ryan squeezed my hand again.

"I know all about it, honey…" Dad offered an expression of compassion and resignation. It appeared that he was accepting, though not necessarily pleased.

"He figured it out when I forced the two of you to kiss under the mistletoe," Mom added, and Ryan again squeezed my hand. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They'd known about us for days now and hadn't said a thing. I wondered if that was why they'd invited Ryan to come for Christmas dinner. If they saw mestruggling and knew he was ignoring calls and put two and two together…

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