Page 35 of Silver Fox's Twin Surprise

I walked out to the parking garage and got in my car before even turning my phone on. I hadn't gotten any more of a response from Rose via text message, but I missed two calls from her. I knew she was probably upset. I glanced at the clock on my car radio and saw it was after nine. The food was probably long-since cold and Rose might have given up and gone home. I started my car and headed out, setting my phone to use hands-free mode. When I tried calling, she didn't answer. I didn't blame her. I was upset with myself. She had every right to be angry or hurt. I invited her to dinner and then I stood her up.

I drove all the way to my house and parked, and when I didn't see her car, I knew I'd ruined things. I was still relieved the lawsuit had been dropped and I was out of the woods as far as that was concerned, but it did worry me that I hurt Rose and didn't have a way to apologize to her. Leaving a voicemail just wasn't an option. I wanted to speak to her in person.

And the tremor during surgery that led to that artery being nicked had me shaken too. Enough that I knew something had to be done. I couldn't just keep going on like nothing was wrong. If no one reported things this time, I was still running the risk of it happening again, and there was no telling what would happen next time.

I let myself in and walked right to my liquor cabinet, which had been my routine for weeks even after telling myself I had to quit drinking. When I got there, however, I realized how futile that was. Drinking hadn't done anything for me except to help me bury my emotions for a while, and tonight, I didn't want to bury things. I wanted to feel. I wanted to heal my heart and be a better man, a better surgeon.

So I got on my phone and pulled up the website for Dr. Ballard. He had mentioned a few options for treatment that would help me potentially put these tremors behind me for good, and I knew I had to stop pretending I could manage this myself and do the right thing. I was on the right path forward now, and if I ignored this and jeopardized my future, I'd never forgive myself. Rose deserved a man who could take care of her, and that's what I wanted to be.

How could I take care of her if I couldn’t do my job? It was time to face the inevitable and get proper treatment.

28

ROSE

The silence in Cole’s living room was deafening. I sat on his stupid, perfect couch, the kind that looked like it had never been sat on before, and stared at the clock on the wall. Every tick felt like a slap. He was officially three hours and fifteen minutes late. No call. No text. Nothing. He said he might be as late as six, but I was sitting here past eight p.m. and I'd already eaten alone.

I tried to convince myself that he had a good reason. Maybe his phone died. Maybe he got stuck in traffic. Maybe—oh, who was I kidding? He’d stood me up. For what, I had no idea. But I was done sitting here waiting for him to explain.

The twins shifted inside me, and I felt a sudden, sharp pang of guilt. They didn’t ask to be dragged into this mess, into my whirlwind of bad decisions and even worse timing. And I hadn't even thought of how to broach that topic with Cole yet. Not with what he'd been going through. “I know, I know,” I whispered, rubbing my belly. “Daddy was supposed to be here by now.”

Daddy. The word felt heavy, foreign. And right now, Cole wasn’t doing much to earn it. His drinking was out of control. He was always in a mood, and now he was standing me up.

My stomach churned, as if it had decided to team up with the clock in shaming me for sitting here for so long. I needed to rest, but my stubborn streak didn’t want to leave before he showed up. Not until I could at least give him a piece of my mind. My body had been through the wringer lately with stress. Taking care of him while growing two babies was taking its toll on me. My blood pressure was too high and I just wasn't sleeping right.

I grabbed my phone again and checked it for what had to be the hundredth time. Still no missed calls, no texts. Just the two voicemails I’d already left him, both unanswered.

“Hey, it’s me. Are you on your way?” That one had been hopeful. Naive. He'd never been late, but he never gave me a reason for why he wasn't home. Everyone at Twin Peaks knew he wasn’t taking surgeries. I figured it was because of the lawsuit and his stress level. But maybe he just didn’t trust himself after drinking so much.

The second one was less friendly. “Cole, where the hell are you? I’ve been here for over an hour.”

I wanted to leave a third just to really drive the point home, but what was the point? He wasn’t answering, and I was done feeling like a complete idiot for thinking tonight was going to be special. I planned to tell him. I had a onesie with the wordDaddyon it to give him, and then another to hand him that saidMommy, hoping he'd get the point that there were two of them. Now I didn't even know if I wanted to tell him yet.

“Fine,” I muttered, shoving my phone into my bag. My movements were jerky, frustration making my hands clumsy. I stood up, grabbed my coat, and glanced around the room one last time. I left his food in the fridge, my container in the trash to show him I'd eaten. It was kind of him to set up the candles and music, but I shut it off immediately. As I left, I blew each of the candles out and then locked up.

I didn’t bother leaving a note. If he couldn’t bother to show up, why should I?

I slammed the door behind me and headed out into the night. If Cole wanted to explain himself, he could damn well figure out how to find me.

By the time I got up to the apartment, I was soaked to the bone. It had started raining halfway home, and I’d been too pissed off to grab my umbrella from the trunk. The cold drizzle seemed fitting somehow, like the universe was piling on just for kicks. Like it conspired with Cole to break me further.

The second I opened the door, Alana was there, her face etched with worry. She took one look at me and gasped. “Rose, what the hell happened? You’re drenched!” She ushered me in and shut the door behind me, then she grabbed a towel and peeled my sweater off me and wrapped the towel around my shoulders.

I didn’t answer. I just kicked off my shoes, dropped my bag by the door, and went straight for the couch. My body felt heavy, like I’d been carrying the weight of my frustration and heartbreak for months instead of hours. The farther along in this pregnancy I got, the more depressing it was. I was supposed to be enjoying these moments, and I just felt guilty for keeping the secret and angry that Cole wasn't what I needed. Which only made me feel guiltier for thinking that while he was struggling.

Alana grabbed another towel from the bathroom and tossed it at me before sitting down next to me. “Did Cole do something?” she asked, her voice gentle but probing. “You were so excited about tonight.”

I laughed bitterly, the sound sharp and ugly. “He didn’t do anything because he didn’t even show up.” I dabbed at my pants and peeled my socks off. I couldn’t believe how a little sprinkle turned into that downpour, and I managed to step in every puddle in the parking lot.

“What?” Her eyes widened. “He stood you up at his own house? That asshole.”

I nodded, rubbing the towel over my head. “I waited for over three hours—almost four. He didn’t call, didn’t text. Nothing.”

Alana reached out and squeezed my hand, her thumb brushing over my knuckles. “I’m so sorry, Rose. That’s… awful. He doesn’t deserve you.” Her sympathetic expression made me sigh hard. He didn't deserve me, but I loved him. And it wasn't that he was being an ass. I was sure of it. I just wished he'd have called me.

“It’s not just tonight,” I said, my voice breaking. I felt the tears welling up, though that had become pretty normal too. Pregnancy hormones were awful. “It’s everything. I can’t keep doing this. Between Cole, the twins, my health—it’s too much. I’ve been trying to hold it together, but I can’t anymore.”

Alana’s expression softened, her eyes filling with concern. “What are you saying?” She'd been here supporting me since the moment I took that test and she walked into the bathroom. She knew as well as anyone else how I felt about this pregnancy. She knew I blamed myself for not being careful. And she knew howI'd come to accept it and look forward to motherhood. I just wanted them to have a father.

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