Page 40 of Silver Fox's Twin Surprise

Well, not anymore.

A moment of clarity hit me, and it wasn't because the lawsuit had been dropped or because I knew the treatments were never going to work. Rose wasn’t a last resort for me. She should always have been my first priority, right from the start. The moment I realized I loved her should have been the momentnothing else was more important, and I had failed her. But I wasn’t going to fail her now.

I unlocked the door and went straight to the elevators. I knew what I had to do, though I knew how difficult it would be. Since the moment I found out that it was likely that I'd be sued, Juan had tried to help me prioritize and stay calm. All of his advice seemed foolish for so long because I felt like he didn't understand what was really important. But he'd known all along. He knew a truth I was too blind to see.

Life was more than your job or how people saw you. I should've learned that when Kate died, but I used my job to catapult me back into my real life without her. Then I taught myself that the job would be here even when everyone else left. Now I was left with a broken paradigm that put everyone around me at arm's length just so I could maintain emotional control, and when the job was shaken, it was the people around me whom I needed. Not the work.

The elevator doors slid open when I pressed the button, and I stepped in. They closed around me in silence and carried me to the top floor of the hospital where the board and hospital administration offices were. It was almost lunch time now. It was possible they'd all be out, but I had to do this while I had the nerve or I'd never do it.

I marched right into Victor Ronald's office, and his eyes popped up from the desk behind which he sat. He smoothed his tie and scowled in annoyance at the interruption, but I walked in anyway.

"What is it, Dr. Hastings?" he asked, and I sucked in a breath to bolster my confidence.

"Sir, I have a few things to tell you, and then I have to tend to an emergency downstairs." I hoped to God Rose would still let me come see her. I knew I had screwed up, but nothing was more important to me than this.

"Well, what is it? I'm in the middle of things." His lips pursed, and I swallowed the knot constricting my throat.

"Sir, I want you to know that none of what I'm about to tell you has affected my work in any way, but I know hospital policy and I have to do this." I felt a little nauseous as I said, "I have had a few hand tremors going on lately. Nothing that would put my patients at risk in the past, but the treatments I've sought aren't helping. I can therefore no longer accept surgeries. I know what this means for my job here, but I felt you needed to know."

He looked surprised and even a bit disappointed, but I continued before he could say anything.

"And sir, I've been seeing a nurse who practiced here at Twin Peaks as well." I pressed my lips into a nervous line as a shadow washed over his face but I continued undeterred. "We've been on and off for a few months, and she quit, but I just wanted to set the record straight. I just didn’t want to jeopardize my career by confessing this during the lawsuit. Now, I have to go to emergency. The woman I love is going in for an emergency C-section, and I need to be there for her."

Victor was shocked. He sat there in a stupor as I turned on my heel and marched out. I never gave him a chance to respond because as far as I knew, it meant I'd be terminated, though I was sure they'd find a way to make it look Kosher so I couldn't sue. The tremors were enough to end my position as surgeon, and Victor would have no choice. I couldn’t do surgery, so I couldn’t be a surgeon.

"We'll need to talk about this!" he shouted after me, but I was already at the door, closing it.

My mind was on Rose. She wanted me to take responsibility and be the sort of man she needed, and that was what I was doing. What I should've done months ago.

By the time I got back down to the ER, she was gone. I walked into the exam room where she was and found Kiki standing with whom I could only assume was Rose's mother. Rose looked just like her, only younger, and she was crying softly.

"Oh, Doc… Uh, they took Rose up for a C-section. I was just going to show Mrs. Williams to the family waiting area." Kiki smiled at me politely. I'd seen her and Rose speaking on a number of occasions and thought how nice it was that Rose had finally decided to open up and become friends with one of her coworkers.

"Thank you, Kiki. I can handle this." I nodded at her as she offered a sympathetic look at Mrs. Williams and walked out.

"They said her kidneys are failing…" Rose's mom whimpered and sniffled. "If they don't do surgery, she'll go into renal failure."

I nodded knowingly, but my knowledge of how this worked didn't calm me at all. Losing Rose now after everything else would kill me. "She'll be alright," I said, taking her hand. "We have excellent doctors here."

My words were meant to encourage her, and all I felt was a knife in the chest. I couldn't lose Rose. Not now.Dear God, make sure she lives.

32

ROSE

Istirred awake mid-morning. My belly hurt so badly, I was whining and holding it, and Mom was there in an instant, asking the nurse for medication. She offered me water and pushed the hair out of my face. I probably looked disgusting, but moms don't care about that sort of thing.

"Hello, sweetheart," she said with a smile when I finally blinked all the way awake. Whatever the nurse put in my IV helped almost instantly, and the pain diminished rapidly.

"Uh…" I yawned and nodded. "Hi… where are the babies?" My mind immediately went to my newborns. With the obvious bulge of my belly gone, I knew the C-section was over, but a quick scan of my room revealed no bassinets or babies.

"They're in the neonatal intensive care unit." Mom sighed and patted my hand. "We can go see them. They've been there since the surgery." Her concerned expression made me worry a little. I tried sitting up on my own, but my stomach hurt so much.

"Are they okay?" I winced but managed to push myself upright.

"They're okay, Rose. They’re just very small and weak. They'll have to be in the hospital for a few weeks. You've been out for two days while your body recovered." Mom hovered by my side and doted on me, and I almost cried. Two days I'd been out? It felt like I just went to sleep.

I glanced around the room and saw a few empty coffee cups, revealing Mom had been here waiting with me. Her purse and jacket were on the fold-out bed, though it was currently in its couch form. And she had a bag of clothing on the floor near the tray table. It was so sweet of her to stay here.

---