Page 38 of Executive Benefits

Julia leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Crazy good or crazy bad?”

“Fuck,” I hissed. “I don’t even know the difference anymore. I know what you said. That you wanted to just have fun, but you also said you had feelings for me. I don’t know if you know what that means, but it does mess with a person’s head a little bit…No.” I took a breath as heat filled my cheeks. “No. You are being honest with me. But I just don’t know what to do now.”

Julia stood. “Do you still want me to do the PR representation?” The fear in her eyes was valid.

“Yes,” I huffed. “Yes. I don’t want to stop working together. But you look stressed, and I want to ask you if you’re okay, but I know we have work to do. I just fucking hate all the thoughts I’m having.”

I just wanted to go back to a level ground. But I didn't even know what that would look like anymore.

“Nick...” Her mahogany eyes bounced over my face. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come to dinner with me,” I said. She opened her mouth to say something, and before she got anything out, I added, “Here. Just stay after our meeting, I’ll cook us something, and we can celebrate the New Year together.” My God, I sounded ridiculous.

“I can’t tonight. I have plans with Mia.” She fiddled with her fingers. “We have this tradition and, well, we’ve had it planned for a while. I won’t cancel on her.”

I threw my hands into the air. “You’re right. You’re right.” I took a beat and almost went to ask her if she wanted Mia to come too, but I’d already made a big enough ass out of myself tonight. “Gimme a few minutes. I’ll look at the designs and pick something.”

I pointed to her phone. Each time it vibrated, my nerves crackled a little. “You should get that.” I took the laptop and turned it to face me, needing to not be so close so I could get my head on straight.

She reached over and picked the phone up. It was a quiet groan, but I heard it, nonetheless. I bit my tongue to stop the question about who was harassing her from coming out. It continued the rest of our meeting until I saw her out with designs finalized, but watching her walk away after that interaction was unnerving.

“I don’t even think I saw you this twisted up when you were first dating Kendra,” David said later that evening when Julia had left. He laughed and took a swig of his beer, and his eyes were fixed on the TV screen above the bar in his basement. I’d ended up at his house tonight since neither of us had any plans.

“Trust me. I made an ass out of myself.” I took a drink of my water and rubbed my eyes. David yelled as his team made the goal. He’d gotten really into hockey for a reason, and I didn’t care. I enjoyed sports, but I just couldn’t get into it tonight. “I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

“Nothing,” he said, tossing a few chips into his mouth. He leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee. He swallowed and pointed his beer bottle at me. “You haven’t been laid in a long time. Probably longer than I even know, and I’m positive she’s more adventurous than Kendr?—”

“Hey,” I snapped. “Do not go there.” I wasn’t going to talk about my sex life with anyone other than the person I was having sex with.

“Fine.” He tossed his hands up. “It’s been a long time for you, and maybe that is affecting you more than you realize.” He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, thinking. “I think there’s some kind of period for a person who’s just coming out of a relationship. It’s like a buffer period, and mostly, anyone who’s in that space doesn’t last. It’s just psychology.” He snapped his fingers at me. “Palate cleanser. That’s what she is.”

“Fuck you, you dick.” I stand. “I’m not listening to this anymore.” It definitely wasn't making me feel any better.

“Did you say she was coming down from a bad experience too?” he called after me. “Maybe you guys?—”

I walked out of his house and slammed the door. I had no interest in going down that weird and twisted road David was headed down. I had to start trusting my gut instead of listening to everyone else.

I pulled out my phone and texted Julia. I didn’t have to ruin her night with her friend, but I could stop by to say hello.

18

JULIA

Itook another swig of my beer and giggled. “I don’t know why you’re bringing up Halloween from the seventh grade.” I tossed a balled-up piece of paper at her and moved around on the couch trying to find a comfortable spot.

Mia pointed a hot wing at me. “Because you’ve always just gone for it. Even when you were skating in the seventh grade. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know how to twirl in skates. You did it anyway.”

“And fell right on my ass.” I laughed, rubbing my butt. “I can still feel the bruise sometimes.”

“No, you don’t.” She laughed back and turned her attention to another band gearing up to play a few songs on the New Year's Eve TV broadcast. She clicked the button on the remote. “What channel do you want to stream? There are too many to pick from.”

“I don’t know. I think if we pick one channel, there will be movies to watch until it’s ready for the ball to drop.” My doorbell rang. We both whipped our heads to the door.

“Did you lock the first floor doors?” Mia asked. Her eyebrows were high in surprise.

“Yes, I don’t have a doorbell on this door.”

“Do you think it could be your silver fox?” Mia scowled.

---