Page 54 of Executive Benefits

I’d ride my bike and just hang out by the water dreaming of bigger and better things for my life. It always helped me feel better.

The phone rang while I was almost there. I hit the button without thinking then realized I should have looked. I didn’t want to be thrown off by Julia calling me.

“Hey, dumbass.” David’s voice rode through the car.

I released a sigh of relief and relaxed a little. “What do you want?” I grumbled around a smile. Even if I was in a shitty mood, David would say something stupid to knock me out of it. Probably.

“Where are you? Chad said you left,” he said.

“Who the hell is Chad?”

“The foreman,” he said.

“That’s his name?”

“What difference does that make?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t even think to ask him,” I said, now feeling like a dick. “My head's been up my ass for too long,” I said and turned the wheel into the lake’s parking lot.

“Since you were born, probably,” David said.

This time, I didn’t laugh. “I should have sold the restaurant,” I said.

“What?” he asked, letting his shock come through.

“When you told me to. I should have listened instead of being a stubborn ass,” I said.

“What happened?”

“Why do you suddenly sound like my mother?”

“You’re thinking something stupid, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.

“Yes you do. You only admit I’m right when you’re about to do something stupid,” he said.

“No, I just think that… the restaurant's taken too much out of me. I’m not built for it anymore. I need a whole new, fresh everything,” I said and leaned back, placing my head on the headrest and letting my eyes focus on the sunset.

David started laughing.

“You’re a dick,” I said. “I finally tell you you’re right about something and you even fuck that up,” I growled. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his shit. “I’ll talk to you later,” I said, hanging up and not giving him a chance to explain himself. I didn’t need to. I just wanted to figure things out.

I moved and walked through the graveled parking lot and found a picnic bench that didn’t have snow covering the top. I walked toward it and stuffed my hands in my pockets. Even though it wasn’t that cold, being on the lake with the breeze blowing made it feel colder.

As soon as my fingers touched Julia’s cotton underwear, I was pulled back into the memory of seeing the sadness in her eyes when I told her to go. Was it the look of someone who wanted another guy?

Or was I looking into it too deeply? Did I want the look to be pain that I was breaking it off for good? Did I want it to meansomething to her too so I made up the look on her face in my mind?

I sat on the picnic table's top and looked out at the water, taking in the crisp air and the beauty of the January scenery.

There was no way I could know for sure. I didn’t remember what I thought when I first thought Kendra was cheating on me. I remember thinking I was batshit crazy long before I would let myself indulge in the possibility that Kendra was cheating on me.

I’d thought I was pretty much unbreakable a few years ago, and life did hand me a nice wake-up call. I was an asshole then. It was probably why I was attracted to Kendra in the first place. Two assholes building an asshole life together.

I huffed and pulled my hand out of my pocket, folding my fingers over each other. I guessed if I was going to start over, I could at least entertain the idea of what a new life would look like.

Without the restaurant.

---