Page 84 of The Jerk in Apartment 1B

I tell her what happened at Scott’s apartment, then describe our interactions earlier in the night. Holding hands. Standing close. Scott opening doors for me, and how I rested my head on his shoulder on the car ride back.

“I think you’re dating your neighbor,” Callie says when I’m done.

“I’m not dating him. He made that very clear last night when he told me to leave.”

“Or he was afraid of what would happen if you stayed.”

“But I wanted it to happen. I told him that.”

“Yeah, but then what? If you guys sleep together, it’ll change things. Even if you only did it one time, it’ll change how you act around each other. Plus, he’s your boss. Maybe that’s why he turned you down.”

“It’s not even a real job. I mean, it is, but it’s not like I filled out any paperwork. He’s paying me in a month of rent. The thing that really made me mad is that he sleeps with all these other girls but he wouldn’t do it with me.”

“Probably because he knows you’re not someone who sleeps with a guy you’re not dating. He didn’t want you having sex with him and then regretting it.”

“He did say I’d regret it. And he knows I’m a relationship girl.”

“So there’s your answer. He knows you want a relationship and that’s something he can’t give you. It’s actually good he turned you down. Most guys would sleep with you and not care. But this guy was thinking about your feelings, knowing you’d end up hurt if he slept with you and then moved on to someone else.”

“He shouldn’t have assumed that. Maybe last night I just wanted sex and that’s it.”

“You really think you could do that? Have sex without getting your feelings involved?”

“I’ll never know unless I try.”

“Trina, you know that’s not you. Think of all your old boyfriends. Like Lucas. The day after you slept with him, you told me you were in love.”

“I was 18. Everyone thinks they’re in love at that age.”

“What about Paul? The same thing happened, and you were 20.”

“Okay, but I had feelings for those guys before we had sex so it’s not really comparable.”

“You’re saying you don’t have feelings for Scott?”

“How could I? I barely know him.”

“You spend hours a day with him in that storage room. And he took you out on a date. It’s totally possible you have feelings for him.”

I do, but I’m not admitting that to Callie. And I’m telling myself the feelings are based solely on attraction and nothing else. After what happened with Asher, I don’t trust my feelings or what they mean. I thought I loved Asher, but now I’m not sure. How could I have loved a guy who kicked me out and lied about wanting to marry me?

“Scott’s my neighbor,” I say. “That’s it.”

“I said the same thing about Nash. And then I married him.”

“It’s not the same.”

“It kind of is. What you’re describing with Scott isn’t that different than how Nash and I met. I hated him at first, then liked him, then hated him again, until he finally won me over.”

“You never hated him. You just didn’t like that he kept coming over. You were annoyed with him, but you didn’t hate him. And Nash wanted to sleep with you. He didn’t turn you down.”

“No, but I made him wait a long time before we actually did anything. I was like Scott. I had no interest in a relationship. If Nash hadn’t come along, I’d probably still be single.”

“Do you think you could do it?”

“Do what?”

“Have casual sex? Assuming you weren’t married, of course.”

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