Page 47 of Almost Always

How was I supposed to know that would trigger her?

That was further proof that the two of them had so much to catch up on. All these feelings were great and he was glad that they were getting a second chance, of sorts. They had talked about their respective relationships, but that wasn’t the only important part of their lives. Rafferty knew that he should have continued flirting and talking about kisses instead of bringing up wishes and desires.

Was it ridiculous that there had been a time in his life when he’d dreamed about a big life with Daisy?

It was a couple of years after she’d left New York and they’d lost touch—the phone calls went from three to once a week, then once a month and then none at all. He’d startled awake because he had this beautiful vision of them together. It included a big home, dogs and kids running, wind tangling in her hair as she picked wildflowers in their backyard, late nights and early mornings with legs and hands and tongues tangled as they brought each other to the kind of pleasure he’d never felt with anyone else before.

It seemed so real, he’d been able to feel the soft texture of her hair between his fingers and the taste of her on his tongue. But she wasn’t in his life and even though he knew where shewas, going after her seemed crazy. Even then, Rafferty knew if he told his family that he missed her they’d encourage him to go to Greenville. Encourage him to go find her. In some weird way, Nonna had seen his feelings long before he had, and she was the one pushing him to do more with her. She was also the reason Rafferty took his job of protecting Daisy so seriously.

He was nineteen when he fell head first into love with her. Initially, he thought it was just a crush or even physical attraction because she was growing into such a beautiful girl. But it was so much more. Every time she smiled or said his name, it felt like a hit of adrenaline. Even if Daisy and her father hadn’t left New York, he knew that he might never have made his move. Rafferty had decided that he’d rather have her as his best friend than not at all. Because in some part of his brain he knew that if he told her how he felt and she didn’t feel the same way, everything would get messy.

He lost her anyway.

The kiss the night before she left might have been everything he wanted, but then she was gone. And a few years later, she was reallygonefrom his life. He’d just gotten her back and did something to lose her again.I can’t give up just yet, he reminded himself, because this wasn’t the end of their second chance. He’d waited twenty years for her, he’d wait some more if she needed it.

“You’ll tell Grandpa that I miss him, right?” Cal asked from the backseat.

“You can still come with me if you want.”

“Indigo said they’ve got lots of things for us to do this weekend. But maybe next time?”

Chuckling, he finished arranging their things in the trunk. It had been a day since he’d seen Daisy, a day since her words had burrowed so deep into his soul he couldn’t forget them. But he also couldn’t let them distract him too much. This New York visit was important.

If it was any other client, he might have asked to reschedule so he could see her and fix everything that had gone wrong. He couldn’t ask this of an Upper East Side socialite, especially when she was going to single-handedly ensure that everyone at Ames Landscaping got a bonus that year.

He’d reached for his phone many times that morning, contemplating all the things he could say to her. None of it sounded good enough. He would apologize, of course, but then what? He understood that she needed space and he would give her that. Even if it hurt him to not see her again. Rafferty decided that when he got back from New York, he would go see her and they could talk about it then. Right now, he would find other ways to keep his mind occupied.

“What kind of things has Indigo planned?” he asked, sliding behind the wheel.

“Video games. They got a new one. We’re also going to do some painting.”

“That sounds fun.”

“There’s other stuff, but I can’t remember now.”

Nodding, he started for the MacArthur house and forced his brain to put all Daisy thoughts to the back for now.

“Will you miss me when you’re gone?” Cal’s voice was quiet and small.

“I already miss you, kid,” Rafferty said, looking at his son through the rearview mirror.

“I’m not akidany more, Dad.”

Chuckling, he stretched a hand back and gave his son’s knee a squeeze. “You’ll always be my kid and of course I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t do anything fun without me, okay?”

“Does that mean I can’t go to any of the parks with Grandpa?”

“Uh…okay, you can do that. But no zoo visits!”

Mention of the zoo brought up memories with Daisy and he breathed slowly to push them down again. “Got it, no zoo visits. Do you want me to bring back anything?”

“Pizza?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Anything but pizza.”

Cal pouted. “Then no.”

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