Page 71 of Pucking Rebound

No, but I can get someone to professionally shoot them.

Leon:

Do that, then send them to me. In the meantime, leave it with me. I have other ideas for you too.

Me:

Yeah? Like what?

Leon:

How do you feel about modeling pegging underwear?

Me:

Fuck off.

Leon:

I’m kidding, chill, bunnykins.

Leon:

I have ProOpPro, the mouthguard manufacturer looking to sponsor hockey players.

Me:

I wear one already. They’d be the perfect fit for me.

Leon:

And I think you’d be great for Harley Davidson. You ride one, right?

Me:

Fuck, yeah.

Leon:

On it.

Me:

Cheers, Leon.

Leon:

See you at home, bunnykins, and wear the pink silk panties I think you look hot in.

I erupt into laughter.

Closing my text conversation with Leon, I open one with my mom.

Me:

Do you know any good criminal defense lawyers to help get stolen money back? My friend has had over 100K transferred out of their account.

Mom: