No, but I can get someone to professionally shoot them.
Leon:
Do that, then send them to me. In the meantime, leave it with me. I have other ideas for you too.
Me:
Yeah? Like what?
Leon:
How do you feel about modeling pegging underwear?
Me:
Fuck off.
Leon:
I’m kidding, chill, bunnykins.
Leon:
I have ProOpPro, the mouthguard manufacturer looking to sponsor hockey players.
Me:
I wear one already. They’d be the perfect fit for me.
Leon:
And I think you’d be great for Harley Davidson. You ride one, right?
Me:
Fuck, yeah.
Leon:
On it.
Me:
Cheers, Leon.
Leon:
See you at home, bunnykins, and wear the pink silk panties I think you look hot in.
I erupt into laughter.
Closing my text conversation with Leon, I open one with my mom.
Me:
Do you know any good criminal defense lawyers to help get stolen money back? My friend has had over 100K transferred out of their account.
Mom: