Page 59 of Jackal

“I can do what I want. Last time I checked, he’d be dead if it weren’t for me.”Probably. They had a few guys that knew how to do a shitty job of stitches, but I doubted they could fish out bullets without making things worse.

“And he appreciates it. I appreciate you. But he’s the president.” Jackal ran his hand lightly over my arm.

Glancing down, I cut my eyes up slowly and pushed his hand away. “So, he’s not the president, he’s the dictator?”

Jackal chuckled and ran his hand over his face. “He’s not a dictator. He’s just responsible for a lot of people and we,” he said waving his hands like he was showing me their circle, “make decisions that will keep everyone safe. Especially our women.”

“But why now? Seriously, he let them go and sign a contract and put money down after you both got shot. But because one of them shows up there, suddenly that’s too much? I don’t get it. I just want to know why. All these secrets and just expecting us to take it sitting down is bullshit. No wonder he’s single.” I drank the rest from the bottle then handed it to Jackal.

He grinned but took the bottle and walked it to the trash for me. When he came back, he stood in front me, his size towering over me. “He made a mistake letting them go,notstopping them now. But he’s in uncharted territory. Speaking of, I don’t feel comfortable with you starting work yet.”

An annoyed growl rose in my throat. “Oh my God, we’ve been over this. I’m not a member here. You can’t hold me hostage. Eagle can agree as part of that couple to not keep the weddingdate, but you,” I said, poking his chest, “can’t stop me from leaving.”

Nodding, he said, “I know. I said I wasn’t comfortable with it. I didn’t say I was stopping you.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter for now. I countered and they may not accept, and I won’t start if they don’t. But if they do, or maybe if the CDC makes an offer, I will. And I thought you understood how important that is to me,” I said, patting my chest.

He stepped closer, lifting his hand to my face. “I do. But I can still worry. I will worry. I’d worry even if all this shit wasn’t happening. I’d die if something happened to you, Lil Bird.”

My eyebrow shot up. “I’m sure you would. None of you can stay out of gunfire and refuse to go to a hospital.”

He gripped my chin. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You can make all the smart ass comments you want and try to make light of it, but I think you know I love you and it scares you. Worse than any fucking traitor, worse than bullets, maybe even worse than blood.”

My heart raced as his steely gaze cut through me. “That’s—you can’t—”

“You know I do and you don’t like it because you had a plan and this wasn’t it. You want to control everything about your life, but you didn’t mean for this and you can’t stand it.”

I pulled my face from his grasp and my hand connected to his cheek. “Fuck you, Jackal.”

Turning quickly, I went toward the door, pulling it open, but he was faster and pushed it closed over my head. Jerking my arm, he turned me back around and pressed me to the door. “Oh no, Lil Bird. You can’t just run away from me. You mad? Fine. But you’re still mine. Even if I let you go, it doesn’t change anything. You’re mine…and I love you. If I have to piss you off everyday to keep you safe, I will.” He was flush against me, dipping his head so his mouth was by my ear. “Now do you want to stew over yourattitude or do you want me to fuck it out of you?”

Grinding my teeth, I tried to control my erratic breathing. Was he right? Maybe. Would I admit it? Fat fucking chance. Instead of answering anything, I said, “Goddamn you. Why do you have to make everything so hot?”

Chapter 32

Shivana

Apparently, fucking was a great way to end a fight. It was probably a bad thing that I put that together. I could potentially become the world’s biggest brat. But holy hell. He tossed me around, spanked me hard, and was unrelenting with the way he pounded into me.

When he had me whimpering that I couldn’t take anymore, he turned me onto my belly, and gave me a few more swift slaps to my ass cheeks.

“How’s that attitude now, Lil Bird?”

“If I wasn’t worn out, I would have a better comeback,” I said with my face smushed into the pillow.

“Good. So I’ll remind you that you promised to trust me. I think this all for the best. Not just for you, but for Lacy, Daisy, Cindy, all of you.”

Turning my face, I made sure he could see before I rolled myeyes. “I’ll call the venue. But I’m still mad.”

“Maybe I didn’t finish my work,” he said as he lifted my hips so I was pulled onto my knees.

“No more!”

He leaned over, wrapping his arms around my waist then lifted me, pulling me into his lap. His arms held me tightly against him. “Shivana, we want this to be over more than you. This shit is crazy. We’ll find them. We just gotta be smart until we do.” His breath danced over my bare shoulder and his hands rubbed my arms as he spoke. “I meant what I said. I love you, Lil Bird.”

My chest tightened as my stomach fluttered. I think I knew he loved me, but how could I be sure? And what was scarier, I think I loved him, too. He was right. I had a plan and he shot it to hell. I got wrapped up in the excitement of everything and told myself I could keep him at arm’s length, but that was because I didn’t expect him to need to be pushed away.

“You know, for a shrink, you’re not that great at communication,” he said as he squeezed me.

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