Page 47 of Digging Deeper

18

Gavin

Looking at my phone, I see the ten missed calls from Holds, plus fifteen texts, and I sigh. I’m in my room, under the blanket, and I don’t plan on coming out anytime soon. If it wasn’t for the dogs, I would’ve stayed here all day. But my eyes are all cried out, and that numbing feeling is starting to take over. I welcome it. Crave it, even. When I’m having a bad day and I can’t get out of my head, I let the pain take over because eventually it always hurts so badly I go numb.

Since I don’t want Holds coming here and making me talk about it, pulling me out of my numb place, I decide to answer his text.

BFF: Are you okay?

BFF: Gav?

BFF: Please answer me.

BFF: I’m here if you need me. Call me.

BFF: If you don’t answer me soon, I’m coming over there.

There’s almost a two hour break between that text and his last one. Weird.

BFF: Remember I love you.

Me: I love you too. I’ll call you if I need you.

His response comes almost immediately, and I’m suddenly very glad I decided to text him because I know he’s worried.

BFF: You better. I’m here. Always. Love you.

BFF: I’m coming over tomorrow after work whether you like it or not. And sooner if you want.

I smile a tiny bit at my phone and send him back a heart, then throw my phone out of my blanket fort so I don’t have to look at it again. Brutus whimpers, his nose searching and pressing against me from outside the comforter, trying to get to me. I open the blanket enough to throw it over him and hug him to me as he attacks my face with kisses before he settles and I stuff my face in his fur. Nana lays behind my back, pressing her warmth against me.

A while later, I hear the front door open and close and the distinct sound of someone walking with a cane. My entire body tenses as he walks closer to my bedroom.

“Gavin?”

I hold my breath, then roll my eyes at myself because it’s not like he can hear me breathe through the door. And it’s not like it would matter anyway since my car’s still out front. Plus, the dogs are whining for him again—traitors. He knows I’m here. Ugh.

“Please, Gav. I need to talk to you.” The desperation in his voice almost does me in. I can hardly take it.

“Go away, Hendrix,” I say, and even though I try to hold it back, I can still hear the hurt in my voice. I wish I could make it go away; the last person I want to hear it is Hendrix.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I hear him bang around for a minute, then slide down to the floor. My jaw clenches because he’s sitting outside my door, obviously ready to wait me out. Jerk.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone, Hendrix? I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Good. Then maybe you’ll listen to what I have to say.”

I glare at the door, but say nothing.

It takes him a minute to get started, but once he does, his words tumble out. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said kissing you was a mistake; it wasn’t. That was the best goddamn kiss I’ve ever had. You’re so sexy, I can hardly stand it. And you’re a good person, which makes you even harder to resist. Having you here, in this house, is better than I could’ve imagined. You push me and you drive me fucking crazy, but you make me laugh. I… like you.”

What the… what? “If you feel that way, why did you call me a mistake?”

He’s quiet for a moment, then he says, “Can I open the door so I don’t have to talk through it?”

After taking a deep breath, I quietly walk to my door and unlock it, then creak it open so he doesn’t fall backwards. I mutter, “Fine, but don’t come in.”

“Okay.”

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