Page 1 of Lost Lyrics

Chapter 1

FLINT

It had been three years since I’d lost my brother, Phil. Thirty-six months. 1095 days. My heart and soul would be forever scarred. Not a day went by when I didn’t miss Phil or see something that reminded me of him. Despite the lingering heartache, the heaviness that used to crush my chest wasn’t crippling anymore. The loss and pain were easier to bear. Losing him had forced me to change, and I’d become a better man because of it.

Sitting in the passenger seat of my car, I smirked and stared at the chrome urn wedged between my legs. The good times with Phil had far outweighed the bad.Absolutely.I’d healed and moved on, thanks to the gorgeous woman beside me. My girlfriend, Sutton. She’d made life brighter in every way. She’d brought me out of the darkness, stood by me as my band and I had scaled to new heights, and loved me with all my flaws. I planned on never letting her go.

“Flint? Are you okay?” Heading north along the Pacific Coast Highway, she veered my Ferrari into the far lane, put her foot down, and overtook the slow dickhead in front of us. Humor caught the edge of my lip, tugging it upward. I was sure she loved driving my Portofino for the thrill and hum between her legs. ButIdid that to her whole body...time and time again.

In the depths of my soul, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I was crazy in love and had plans to propose in a few weeks. I just needed the final elements to fall into place. My idea had taken months to organize. But delay after delay had done my head in. I didn’t want to throw my whole plan out the door. Sutton deserved something special.Shewas special. Every day with her was a blessing. She was the reason I washappy, thankful, and grateful to be alive.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I rested my head back against the seat and swiveled to face her. Her long, golden blonde hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders. But her dark blue eyes shimmered with concern. She needn’t worry. I was fine. I’d be even better once I made it through the next few hours. The reality of the drive kicked in as we headed north. “I was just remembering some of the wild parties Phil and I used to go to. He loved to cause havoc.”

“Yes. So I’ve heard.” Half-smiling, she rolled her eyes, then refocused on the road ahead. Sutton hadn’t known Phil, but she’d never been impressed by the stories my bandmates—Cole and Slip—and I had often told. Fair call, he’d been a crazy motherfucker. She patted and rubbed my thigh. “But today will be hard. I’m here for you. Always.”

“Thanks, Sutt. I know you are.” I placed my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. Trailing my fingertips up to her wrist, I tickled her soft skin, then fidgeted with the diamond bracelet I’d given her for Christmas. It sparkled in the last rays of the day.

With a twinkle in her eye, she waggled her fingers...specifically her ring one. “My bracelet needs another diamond to match.”

A chuckle rumbled low in my throat. She was never subtle. She was itching for me to pop the question. So was I. I was running out of diversionary tactics. But today, saying goodbyeto Phil again was a good deflection. “One day, Sutt. I love you and our life together. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t stress.” She jabbed her finger into my thigh, then returned her hand to the steering wheel. “There’s no pressure. I’m not going anywhere either.”

Oh, there was pressure. Nothing daunting, but it was there. Every fucking day. But I could hold out for a few more weeks...hopefully.

“Good.” I loved Sutton was mine. She’d helped me through the worst time in my life. She’d given me something to be excited about...a future with her. She made facing this evening easier. “We have so much to look forward to—the rest of awards season, summer, your show’s renewal. But since the tour, I haven’t slowed down. I need to do that. And I will. I promise. But right now, I need to get through today.”

“You’ll be fine.”

I flattened my palms around the urn and nodded. I hoped she was right.

This evening at sunset, my band, our partners, and I would spread Phil’s ashes across the ocean, just off the rocks where he used to sit on the beach for hours and play his guitar or surf the wicked waves. We wanted to remember the fun times—not the bad. Not his addiction or substance abuse. It was time to put the past horrors behind us and be thankful for the good things that had happened since his death. Sutton had come into my life. My band and I had found Lewis, our new bassist. Tia, Cole’s sister, had come home from Chicago, quit acting, and joined our sound and lighting team. The guys and I had released an album and had been on an epic world tour. We’d won some trophies during this awards season.Freaking amazing.

We were on a high.

We should be riding the wave of success.

But instead . . . we were on a break . . . until the end of theyear.

The guys had needed it. Me, not so much.

Time off made me nervous.

Unease continually swayed through my guts like an unwavering waltz. Knots twisted tighter and tighter in the back of my neck.

Why was I so unsettled? What plagued my mind more than my pending proposal?

The answer was simple.

I missed music.

I needed it more than oxygen. More than food and water and a roof over my head. I loved to write, to create, and to play. I missed having adoring fans scream and sing along to our songs. The rush of adrenaline from performing in front of huge crowds fed my soul. I was born to entertain. But with no albums planned, and no gigs booked, the future remained uncertain.

I didn’t like that. Not one little bit.

Shit!

This break could kill me.

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