Page 32 of The Closed Off Captain

“You must be really good in bed.”

I recoil, shocked. “Excuse me?”

“For Cap to put up with,” he motions up and down my body. “All this. You must be really good in bed.” I stare at him, and he gives me that infuriating smirk again. “Oh, come on. It’s not like I hurt your feelings. You have no feelings. Everybody on the team says you’re incapable of emotion, hence the nickname.”

“Kyle!” one of the guys calls.

He gives me a mock salute. “Later, Chloe.”

I push open the door into the bathroom and escape inside. I step into one of the stalls and close the door behind me. There are days like this when I regret that I’m one of only three females that travel with the team. Normally, it doesn’t bother me, but on a day like today, I wish I had someone to commiserate with. I drop my head into my arms and run Kyle’s words through my head again. I don’t want to, but it’s like they’re stuck on repeat.Everybody on the team says you’re incapable of emotion.I’ve always struggled with being soft. I know I’m overbearing and difficult to be around. I’ve always been driven by my work and a desire to be my very best; but sometimes, I wish I could be like other females—be all soft and warm and laugh more and not be so critical. I sigh and blink back tears before I get control of myself. “What is wrong with me?” This is so not me—sitting on a toilet, commiserating just because a hockey player said awful things about me. It’s definitely not the first time it’s happened. I fight the urge to cry, which is so not me; and then I groan. There’s only one reason I’m feeling this way. I close my eyes.My period’s coming.I’m not an emotional person ever, unless I’m on my period. Even then, I vacillate between crying and wanting to murder anybody within a six foot vicinity; you just never know which way it’s going to go.

A few minutes later, I leave the restroom. Right now, I need to focus on two things—not crying at the drop of a hat andnot murdering anybody. With Kyle’s words ringing in my ears, I steer clear of any players and skirt the outside of the room to get to my table. Thankfully, Gunner isn’t there at the moment. I grab my bags and hightail it out of there and make my way to one of the private cubicles off the lobby where I can work in silence before we have to hit the road. I shut the rest of the world out and work until it’s time to load up.

Not wanting to have to talk to anybody, I wait until nearly everyone is on board before I head out to the bus. I hand my bag off and step onto the bus. I don’t bother looking for Gunner; I just want to slip into the first available seat. Before I get to the open seat I spy in the third row, a big body blocks my path. “I was looking for you.”

I meet Gunner’s eyes. “I was working.”

His eyes narrow on mine, but he doesn’t say anything. “I’ve got seats for us back here.” I don’t want to follow him, and I don’t want to sit with him. But I agreed to this whole thing. So without a word, I follow him to almost the middle of the bus. He steps back, and I slide into the seat by the window. I shove my bag under the seat in front of me and then turn my gaze out the window, hoping it’s a quick ride.

Chapter 15

Gunner

I eye Chloe from the corner of my eye but stay quiet. I want to talk to her but don’t have a clue what to say. I’m very aware of how badly I’ve messed things up in the last hour or so, but I don’t have a clue how to fix it. I try to stretch out my long legs, but there’s no room. I’m irritated and feel like I’m about to come out of my skin. I need to get to the rink and skate off some of this frustration; I need the ice beneath my skates. I need to not have Chloe’s soft body nestled against mine in this seat, even though both of us are trying our best not to touch each other. I need to erase the image of her in that outfit she wore to bed last night. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Who knew a pair of shorts and a tank top could be so enticing? Who knew they could even be made of silk? I shake my head, but I’m pretty sure I will never get the image of Chloe dressed that way out of my mind. All that soft skin on display...I nearly groan.Hockey. Focus on hockey.I need to focus. We have a game in just a few hours. But try as I might, I can’t get my attention off the woman next to me. I hate that she was so sick during the night, but I’m also angry with her. “Did you eat the plate I had made for you?” I ask, turning to her. Coach pulled me away, and I finished eating at his table. I lost sight of Chloe after that and didn’t see her again until she got on the bus. She shakes her head. “Did you eat anything?” I ask in exasperation.

“No.”

She doesn’t even look at me, and I resist the urge to shake her. I snap my mouth shut, so I don’t say something I’ll regret.I don’t understand why the woman won’t take care of herself. I’m angry at her, but I’m also angry at myself. I hadn’t realized how thin she’s gotten. I noticed last night. She’s also so pale, and those circles under her eyes keep getting worse. It’s no wonder, though, if every night is like last night. Anger stirs in my belly once again. I move my leg restlessly; I need to be there already. I put my earbuds in and close my eyes. I need to find my center before we get to the game. It’s a lot harder than I realize with Chloe right next to me and her perfume drifting towards my nose every time she shifts positions, which is plenty. I wonder if she’s feeling as unsettled as I am. We finally arrive at the arena, and I’m the first to my feet. Normally, I’d let everybody else go first, but I need to get off this bus before I lose my mind. I stride down the aisle and out into the fresh air. Since I’m the first one off the bus, I help Cameron unload all the luggage. I put Chloe’s bag next to mine, intending to carry it for her. But when I finish unloading, her bag is gone. I grab mine, throw it over my shoulder and turn, looking for her. I catch sight of her, and my stomach tightens. She’s standing next to Zac. He says something, and she smirks. It’s not a full laugh, but it’s more than she’s given me lately. A wave of pure jealousy rushes through me, surprising me; but it doesn’t keep me from striding over to them.

When I get to them, I wrap an arm around her and pull her into my side. “Ready?” I ask, looking down at her, purposefully ignoring my teammate. I hear Zac snort, but I continue to ignore him, hoping he’ll get the memo to walk away. Thankfully, he does.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Your caveman is showing.”

I don’t have a response to that, so I don’t even bother trying to come up with something. She starts to pull away, and I let her, even though I don’t want to. I’m equal parts irritated with her and worried about her. But right now, I have a game to thinkabout and a team to lead. “Do me a favor, Liessman,” I say, using her last name like she always does to me. “Eat something,” She turns back to me, rolls her eyes and walks away. I can’t help but watch her as she walks away. Seeing my name on her back does something to me. It feels dangerous because it makes me feel something that she’s not…Mine.

“You’re staring,” Seb says as he throws a hard elbow into my ribs.

I cut him a look but don’t say anything. We start inside, and I force myself to focus on the task ahead. This is why Chloe is so dangerous to me; it’s why I turned her down four years ago when she was new on the job. I had just been named team captain, something I’d been gunning for. I was finally making something of myself. After I became captain, I made a pledge to myself that I would put the team first and give it my all. I was the leader after all, and our team would rise and fall on my leadership. So, it was easy for me to turn the new PR agent down, as beautiful as she was. What’s been harder has been not regretting that decision nearly every day since then. It seems ironic that the very woman I’ve spent four years trying to keep my distance from has now been thrown literally into my arms. And while I was serious, I wouldn’t want any other woman than Chloe to do it, she represents a temptation I’m not sure I’m strong enough to withstand. In the decade I’ve played hockey, no woman has ever tempted me the way Chloe does. The need to make sure she’s safe, cared for, happy, and now—eating is becoming all-consuming. It’s scary, and I’m doing everything in my power to keep it from taking over. But like with hockey, everything I put my attention to, I do with one hundred ten percent. And it’s been really hard to not give that much attention to Chloe, the one woman that has the potential to take my attention off where it needs to be.

“You good?”

Aiden’s voice snaps me back to the present as he walks beside me down the long hallway to the guest locker room. The media lines the sides of the hallway, taking our pics. We ignore them and keep our focus straight ahead. “Yeah.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I look over at him and smirk. “On a scale of one to ten, how hard was it to ask that?”

He doesn’t even look at me. “Eleven.” I shake my head. Aiden’s known for his fists, not his words. Though he has changed a lot since marrying Brielle, he’s still pretty quiet. “You seem...off.”

His words are like a blow to my chest. This is exactly why I have no business thinking about Chloe when I have a job to do, a team and an entire franchise depending on me. “I’ll get back on track.”

He glances at me. “Everything good with Chloe?”

“Fine. Everything is good. We’re keeping everything strictly professional.”

His silence seems to say everything. But there’s no more time to say anything because we arrive at the locker room, and it’s time to focus. The rest of the afternoon passes quickly, and soon, it’s time to step out on the ice. I feel my entire body relax as soon as my skates touch the ice. Everything else fades away as I let myself fall into my pregame routine. I need complete focus tonight as we play our LA rivals. Every game in our season is important, but some games feel like more. And this is one of them. They kept us from a run at the Cup last year, and we’re ready for payback.

“Gather around,” I shout when it’s almost game time. My teammates gather around me. “Nothing else outside of right here right now matters. Right now, it’s just us and them. They kept us from the Cup last year.” I let the sting of my words settle.“It’s time for some payback; it’s time to remind them who we are.”

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