Page 51 of Brutal Days

They neared, and her gaze locked onto mine before she tore her eyes away as she passed without saying a word. My hand flattened against the display window, and I worked to control my emotions. She’d ignored me, after all I’d done for her. Anger took the place of hurt. Fuck it. I whirled and returned to my car without buying anything. I would wear what I had on, and he would like it or not. I didn’t care.

I’d been to a party at Damon’s before and didn’t need to plug his address into the GPS. When I got to his huge house, I parked around the corner and walked—no need to give anyone a reason to gossip. And if Gia stopped by unexpectedly, she wouldn’t see my car. It killed me, but I cared about hurting her, no matter how she’d behaved at the mall.

Damon’s oceanfront house had an incredible view. I couldn’t imagine a life like that, not that I was jealous. I was happy with what Mom and I had—each other. After what we’d gone through, that was everything.

I couldn’t bring myself to open the car door, so I sat there for a hot minute, sorting through my feelings. It was stupid. Everything about me being there was. But I couldn’t ignore how I needed him to know that having sex was new for me.

Cass, a friend at school who’d graduated with Riley and Cole’s class, had told me once when she’d slept with Damon that it was “back-against-the-wall, all-consuming, you’ll-never-forget-it kind of sex.” I couldn’t lie and say it didn’t intrigue me—it did. She and Damon hadn’t lasted. It was a one-time thing, according to her.And isn’t that his usual MO?Besides, she’d had her sights set on Matt Chambers, and they were happily dating at Thane, last I’d heard.

But that comment had stayed with me, and while I wanted to experience that—itwasmy first time. I wasn’t sure how well I would do with his aggressiveness when I was so nervous.Gah, get a grip. It’s not that big of a deal.

Or, I didn’t think it was for me. Gia was a different story. She needed romance and love. I wasn’t sure I had the same needs. Maybe, but there was no point in examining them closer—I was doing it.

My mind skipped back to when Gia had first told me about her senior year goal list,“Number three, lose my v-card.”My reaction had been more like me than how I was behaving currently—“Oh my God, Gia. It’s not like it’s a disease.”Yet, there I was, overthinking everything.

My head thumped against my headrest, and I pushed out a slow breath.Stop procrastinating.I grabbed my phone, hit the button to call Damon, and set it on speaker. Each ring screaming through the speaker added another layer to my frayed nerves. Then he answered, and my entire body tensed.

“Ticktock, Sky.”

Though he couldn’t see me, I rolled my eyes and felt a fraction better from the gesture. “I’m aware. And I’m nearby.” My leg bounced, and I gripped my thigh to stop the nervous tic.

“You’re not chickening out, are you?”

“No.” My teeth sank into my bottom lip.Why am I so nervous?

“Then what’s stopping you?”

His voice changed, but I couldn’t put my finger on how. It sounded softer, more patient. Regardless of what that meant, I responded to it.

“I need to talk to you about… things before I go inside your house.” Because once there, I wasn’t sure I would have the nerve. That would be unlike me, but the whole situation was strange. It made me feel so vulnerable, which I hated, and Damon was a master at exposing me.

“I’m listening.”

“I know how you are. Girls talk.” That didn’t sound like how I’d meant it. I banged my head a few times against the headrest, silently cursing under my breath.

“Why are you listening to other people? That’s not your style, McCormick.”

I snapped out of my anxiety-driven mood at the sound of my last name. It gave me the space to pull back and state the problem without getting too into my head. “I’ve never slept with anyone before. I felt like you needed to know that.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

He kept his voice level and low, a whisper of a caress in it that I immediately responded to by tightening my thighs.

“Mm-hmm.”

“We don’t have to do this, you know. Or we can go as far as you want.”

“No. I’m… I don’t have an attachment to my v-card like some people.”Gia.“It is what it is. An experience. Not a huge rite of passage and a memory I’ll always hold onto. At least it doesn’t feel like that.”

“Are you sure about that? I won’t take something from you that you’re not ready to give. I promise. Don’t feel pressure from me to go all the way. That wouldn’t be fair.”

He was acting awfully human, which threw me for a loop. “Where’s all the posturing? The threats? This isn’t like you.”

He chuckled, and the sound danced over my skin. I didn’t know how much longer I wanted to stay in the car and talk. It made me feel even more exposed. I should have made a mic-drop announcement, hung up, stomped to his front door, and said,Let’s do this.That was more my style. Our current conversation was something else entirely.

“I want you to be sure. No crying foul later.”

“Dick.” But I smiled. It felt good to tell him. “Better make it good. I have high expectations, and you have a reputation to uphold.” What Cass had said rolled through my mind again, not for the first time.What will that be like?I wanted to experience it. A rush of heat swept through me at the thrill of seeing him naked. His body was a work of art, and I salivated to get my hands on all of him.

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