Page 61 of Twice Baked Risky Whiskey Cakes

“What?” Venus gasps as if I just wielded a knife their way—much like the killer did to Sebastian.

Sebby circles Keegan with his ghostly tail swishing. “Her aura is twitching like a rabbit’s nose, Lolita! She is definitely hiding something tasty!”

Maybe so, but I know for a fact murder leaves a bitter taste in just about anyone’s mouth.

Keegan groans and it’s almost inaudible beneath the blare of the passing band, but I catch it anyway.

Venus must have heard it, too, because she gasps at her mother while her perfectly manicured hand flies to her throat as if she were in a Victorian novel.

“Mother,” she says with a growl. “Whatever she asks, just answer it. For goodness’ sake, it’s not like you’re the killer.”

Keegan doesn’t say a word; she simply crimps her lips, and that alone causes Venus to gasp twice as loud.

Venus closes her eyes in defeat for a moment. “I just pray this day doesn’t end with the need for legal counsel.”

Carlotta nods. “Green beer and attorney fees don’t mix well. Ask me how I know.”

“Keegan”—I press on, fully ignoring Carlotta’s potentially dicey diatribe—“did you have two children with Sebastian Gallagher? Were you married to him, and did he walk out on you? Or am I just making wild assumptions based on my sugar-addled pregnancy brain?”

Okay, so I gave her an out, but that’s because I like her and I like her daughter, too. I don’t want any of this to be true.

Keegan pauses to look at the sky as if she’s checking if somehow the luck of the Irish might actually save her from this conversation. Finally, she bows her head in defeat.

“Yes,” she admits, the word seemingly dragged from her against her will. “Sebastian drained my trust fund during our five-year marriage, then abandoned me with two small children. In fact, I recently discovered he maintained a long-term girlfriend throughout our entire marriage.” Her voice hardens. “It’s true. I was married to that donkey and he did exactly what you said. He told me he was going to the store and never came back. The man was deplorable.”

“Good grief,” Venus says as she bows slightly as if she might be sick.

“Oh, Keegan,” I say. “I’ve heard of deadbeat dads, but that’s reaching Olympic levels of abandonment. I am so sorry to hear it.”

Sebby’s ghostly eyes widen. “The plot thickens like your famous whiskey pudding pie, Lolita!” His ears slope down toward his face and his entire countenance falls into despair. “Sebastian was even more dastardly than I could have imagined.”

Poor Venus looks as if she’s been slapped in the face as she looks at her mother. “But you told us your first husband died! You said his name was Phillip Dawson!”

“I’m sorry, Venus.” Keegan’s eyes swell with tears that she doesn’t allow to fall. “I was too ashamed and angry to tell you kids the truth. I was going to, though. I was getting ready to.” She turns and glares at me sharply enough to frost cupcakes from across the room. “But someone has decided to take that opportunity away from me.”

I also decide to cut straight to the chase. No sense in tap-dancing around the elephant in the room—especially when I’m basically the elephant both metaphorically and literally speaking.

“Did you kill him, Keegan?” I ask point-blank.

“Oh, course she did, Lot,” Carlotta chimes in with an inappropriate whoop. “The jerk did her dirty. Now we need to forget we ever had this conversation and skit, skat, scoot across the street and celebrate with a pint of green beer that the dirty rat is dead. I mean, if I had a quarter for every man who deserved a stabbing, I’d have retired to Fiji by now.”

Sebby zips around the four of us. “Carlotta speaks the ancient vulpine wisdom! In the fox world, such betrayal would warrant a swift nip to the hindquarters!”

Venus looks at her mother, her face crumpling faster than my resolve in front of a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls.

“Mom, did you do this?” she asks just above a whisper. “Did you stab Sebastian Gallagher in the heart?”

“No,” Keegan doesn’t hesitate with her answer. “He tried to corner me that night and we spoke for less than a second before I got away from him. I needed to collect my thoughts. I don’t appreciate being caught by surprise. I was just about to let you know that I was leaving the event when I saw the crowd gathered around his body.” She closes her eyes for a moment. “I’ll admit, I was a bit relieved, a bit saddened, and a bit angry that I didn’t get a chance to properly give him a piece of my mind.”

“I’m sorry to hear it, Toots,” Carlotta says with genuine sympathy. “A good knife to the chest would have made you feel a heck of a lot better. Especially if you were the one delivering the blow. Nothing says ‘I’m over you’ quite like a well-placed stab wound.”

“Carlotta,” I snip. “Maybe dial back the homicidal cheerleading while we’re in public?”

Sebby nods. “At least wait until the leprechauns are out of earshot.”

Carlotta gags as she tosses up her hands in mock surrender. “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. Nothing clears the sinuses like justified homicide—except maybe wasabi. And the way these twins are pushing on your bladder, you might be contemplating it yourself soon. I’ve seen you waddle to the bathroom fifteen times today alone. Sexy has it coming to him.”

“Thank you for keeping count of my trips to the potty,” I deadpan. “I was worried no one was monitoring my bladder habits.”

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