I see Chase’s.
Brinklin’s.
I shove Storm away, hitting at his chest as hard as I can, then snatching his wrist, pulling his hand from my face.
He lets go, never looking away from me. But adrenaline is building past my exhaustion and my fear and anger is thrumming hot under my skin. I get off the couch, backing up, the coffee table scraping against the hardwoods as I do. I turn to it and snatch the beer bottle.
“Remi.” Cortland’s words. He stands, dipping his chin, arching a brow. “Don’t do that,” he says, holding up one hand, like he can placate me.
I step back, moving the table again, gripping the bottle by the neck, my chest heaving as my eyes lock on Cortland’s.
My lips pull back in a snarl, and I lift the bottle, wanting to throw it at his head. Wanting to hurt him like he hurt me.
Like he broke my heart.
He broke my fucking heart.
My chest caves, my face hot, and I throw the bottle, turning at the last minute, sending it sailing to the TV, that fucking horror movie still playing.
The bottle shatters against the television, but it keeps playing, and it isn’t enough. A cry leaves my lips as I squat down to flip the table but Cortland’s arms band around me, holding me tight.
I keep struggling, trying to rip away from him, but my ankle twists and I trip, sending both of us falling to the floor. His arms around me protect me from any real damage and when we hit the hardwoods with a thud, he rolls so I’m on top of him, him on his back. His hands are around my forearms, pinning them down.
I kick my feet, but then Storm is there, his fingers wrapped around my shins, pressing down, so I can’t move.
“Baby,” Cortland says in my ear, “just breathe.”
My eyes lock on Storm’s, and I’m still fighting, like I didn’t before. Like I couldn’t. I was paralyzed. I was hollow.
Numb.
Broken.
I wasstupid.
“I’m not anymore,” I say, staring at Storm. “I’m not stupid.” My voice breaks. I try to kick, try to get out of Cortland’s grip, but he doesn’t let me go. “I’m not fucking stupid. I’m not. Fucking.Stupid.”Tears well up behind my eyes, and I close them, unable to look.
Because I might not be stupid anymore, but I’m not brave either.
I’m not anything.
“I’m nothing.”I whisper those words so quietly, I don’t know if they heard, and I don’t care as I go still in Cortland’s arms. “I’m nothing.”
Cortland bands his arms around me, keeping mine down. But he uses his abs to sit up, pulling me to his chest, Storm’s hands still on my shins as he crouches over me, my eyes flying open, connecting with his.
“Don’t ever say that again,” Cortland says in my ear. “Don’teverfucking say that again.” He keeps one arm around me, but grabs my chin, turning me to face him.
And I’m there again.
But it’s okay.
Because he’s holding me. He’s soft, and he’s nice, and he’s keeping me present.
Because even in the middle of everything, in the worst moment of my life, he was gentle. He made me think I was insane.How could someone so kind do something so fucking horrible?
And why do I still want him?How can I still crave him?
“You’re everything,” he whispers, his words fierce, his tone angry. His thumb traces my bottom lip as I try to breathe, inhaling his scent. “You’reeverything,Remi.”