Page 127 of Did They Break You

Just buzzing a lot.

The cabin ispacked, and no way was I partying with Vansober.

Which is what I tell Sloane, my words a little slurred as I do. “It’s fine,” I assure her, glancing at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It’s cramped in here, a tiny shower and a toilet within grasping distance from where I stand. “I’m just tipsy.”

I rake my eyes over my reflection. The orange in my hair has faded a little, and it looks good, my French braids back in, orange and blonde mingling together in a way that reminds me of Creamsicles.

I have on heavy eyeliner, a black sheath dress that hits mid-thigh, a gray flannel shirt tied around my waist, and black boots that come to my knees. All from the shopping trip with Van before we hit the road.My birthday presents from him.

I’m spoiled when it comes to my friends, and I know I don’t deserve it. One day, I’ll pay them back for everything.

Van convinced me to get out of my hoodies and right now, I feel good about that decision.

I mean, hell, it’s my birthday, and although most of the people in this cabin—Van’s fellow art majors, plus Ryann—don’t know that,I do.

My stepdad never acknowledged my birthday after Mom passed,not once.

I remember in middle school, filling out forms, and I had to enter that date on one. I stared at the paper, blinking. Trying to get it right. Sometime in September, I knew that much.

But I’d had to go home and ask Silas when the date was.

My teacher called him about that.

That didn’t go well for me, because I “made him look bad.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat, and the fact that I have to see Silas in a few weeks.

That’s not today.

Tonight, I can have fun.

I rode with Van here in his G-wagon, admittedly much cooler than my Corolla. In addition to the clothes, he also got me two iced coffees on the way, which is like mini birthday presents in themselves, and I’ve got a black, leather-bound journal in my room of the cabin, with orange, glimmer pens as my other gift.

“Just be careful, Remi.” I hear the worry woven in Sloane’s voice, and I don’t like it.

I close my eyes, some of my confidence faltering. For a second, I can smell Storm’s scent, feel Cortland’s words against my ear.

Such pretty words, just like that night in his truck before he fucked me all up.

“You’re everything, Remi.”

But then I see his phone. Maya. He’s still with her.

He’s blown up my phone, but I’ve carefully avoided him, blowing off lunch with Van, spending more time alone. In my room.

In my head.

I’m just doing what I should’ve done when I first saw Cortland in front of the student service’s building last month.

I’m pretending he doesn’t exist.

“I’ll be careful, Mom,” I tease Sloane.

I hear her laughter on the other end, and I sigh, smiling at myself in the mirror, ready to grab another drink. Ryann makes vodka-cran like no one’s business. I mean, it’s only a few ingredients, but it just tastes better when she does it. “Anyway, gotta go. Van is waiting for me.”

I end the call with Sloane, pull my phone from my ear.

I have a text fromhim,and my heart picks up speed in my chest as I read it.

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