Page 15 of Did They Break You

“That’s wrong, though. He’s not a psychopath.” I’m an English major. Words matter. “Anyway, are you lying right now, Sloane?” I force a lightness into my voice that I don’t feel, memories of Cortland and Storm surrounding me blaring in my brain.

But I’m just teasing her. Sloane and I don’t keep secrets.

Then I think about the scissors at my back, in the cupholder on my desk.

Except that one.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sloane says, waggling her brows. She shrugs. “You gave me his number last semester in case I couldn’t find you.” She narrows her eyes, because that happened a few times. When I went off to the library, holing myself up in a study room for hours.

And not to study.

To just…be.

“Anyway.” She shrugs. “I texted him. He’s coming.” She glances down at her ankles, still crossed over one another. “I think it’ll be good for you,” she says quietly. “To start this year differently.”

I almost balk at those words, thinking of the feel of Cortland’s hand over me. Storm circling me.

I know I should tell her, but as I open my mouth to do just that, the words get stuck in my throat. We don’t talk about him. When I wake up crying in the night, she asks if I’m okay. Gives me a hug in the morning.

But we don’t talk about this.

That’s a memory in the basement, hidden for the rest of my life as far as I’m concerned.

I clench my hands into fists in the pocket of my hoodie, biting my lip.

She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and I catch sight of her cartilage piercing. She got that done at the same time I got my tongue pierced.

After the case was dismissed.

A fuck you to everyone who fucked me.

She’s been there, more than anyone.

After the charges were filed, most of the few people I talked to at West River dropped off. It was a “he said, she said,” case, the defense told us.

And there were four hes. Only one she.

I never really stood a chance. I knew that. I had cheered them on at every game and saw how much everyone adored them.

Once upon a time,I had adored Cortland too.

But Sloane stood by me. Never once doubted me, and she cried when I told her what happened. She’d been away, at the coast visiting her older sister.

Before that night, we had gushed over Cortland together. The few dates we went on. She was happy for me.

Then her heart broke for me, too, right alongside mine.

“Okay,” I finally say, taking a breath. “I’ll come.” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth, but Sloane’s grin nearly splits her face and she leaps down from the bed, throwing her arms around me.

I hug her back, but my skin is still crawling with Cortland’s touch.

“This year is going to be the best one yet,” Sloane says in my ear. Then she pulls back, still holding on.

A strand of her hair sticks to the gloss over her plump lips, and she tries to blow it away, making me laugh with the noise.

I still have my hands on her sides, and hers are around my neck. She presses her temple to mine.

“You deserve to live, Remi,” she says.“You deserve this.”

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