Page 189 of Did They Break You

Fuck him.

Fuck Chase.

Fuck Silas.

I feel euphoric, high with the pain, the self-inflicted damage. Just like when I was going to offer myself to Van and Ryann, this feels good, too. My own undoing, agony I can control. Like the scissors. The box cutters. Like being passed between Storm and Cortland.

I snatch up the ceramic bowl, and finally Cortland intervenes. He slams the door closed, crosses the room in a blink.

He grabs the bowl from my hand, slamming it down at the table behind me. “Stop acting like afucking child.”

My pulse skyrockets, loud in my ears.Elation.I try to shove Cortland away, but he pins both of my wrists to the table, keeping me there.

Silence echoes in the room as my chest heaves.

Then I hear the creak of the floor, from the kitchen, and Storm’s voice. “You have teeth after all, huh, little wolf?”

My chest is heaving, hands fisted by my sides, the skin of my knuckles stinging.

Cortland wraps his arms around me, dragging me away from the table, and I feel Storm’s eyes on us from the doorway of the kitchen.

I fight against Cortland, needing to be free. To explode. To rage, just a little more. “Let go of me,” I whisper, struggling in his grip as he pins my arms to my side. “Get off of me!” Those words are louder, but he still doesn’t let go, and I can’t escape him.

“Calm down, Remi,” he says quietly, holding me still, far from the table. In the living room.

My chest is heaving, anger pulsing in my veins, and I keep struggling, but I can’t get away.

I can’t fucking get away from him.

I still fight, though, flexing my fingers by my side, feeling the crack of my skin. “Get off of me, Cortland.Get off.”I twist in his arms, breathing hard, not wanting to come back down from that high.

He doesn’t say anything, just squeezes me tighter. My bare chest heaves beneath his arms.

“Cortland,get the fuck off of me!”I thrash in his hold, feel his muscles flex tighter, almost to the point I can’t breathe.

He doesn’t let up. “You thought I was leaving you?” he asks instead.

I still, frozen, my pulse thudding in my ears. I swallow, feeling suddenly hot and uncomfortable, my knuckles stinging. “I don’t care if you do,” I spit, using anger to mask his stab at my vulnerability.

“Yeah?” he demands, dragging me back with him as he sinks down onto the couch, me on his lap. He still doesn’t let me loose.

I open my eyes, stare down at my legs dangling over the side of the couch, parallel with his.

“Is that why you had a fucking fit?” he asks me.

I squirm when I think about it. The raw feel of my knuckles. The flashback coming to me at the worst time.

His words.“I thought you could handle it.”

“You thought I was going to fucking leave you, Remi?” He sounds angry, and he loosens his grip, picks me up like it’snothing, pushing me flat on my back on the couch, my shoes still on as his fists come to either side of my head. He’s on his knees over me, glaring down at me. “You’ve gotta get over that. I’m not leaving you.”

I know Storm is watching us, me without my shirt on, but I don’t care.

I fist the leather of the couch, my knuckles screaming as they bend, my mind spinning. “But you were going to take me home?—”

“Fuck,” he says, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips as he sinks back on his heels, by my feet. I see blood on my skin, but he doesn’t care. He sucks on one knuckle, then the other, the sting bittersweet. He drops my hand to his lap but doesn’t let go. “I’m sorry.” He kisses my hand again. “I’m sorry. Chase got under my skin and I tried to leave you alone tonight but I couldn’t stay away. I’m fucking sorry, Remi. It’s not your fault.”

I try to breathe. To relax. To get my pulse to settle. I say nothing, though, hot and uncomfortable and still burning with that fire. It’s worse, thinking of Chase. I don’t want to know what he said. What he did. How he threatens this.

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