Page 203 of Did They Break You

He’s still watching me, his window all the way down now, and I see the glowing ember of a cigarette dangling from his fingers.

“What?” I ask, shifting my gaze back to Sloane. “Why? Who?”

Sloane’s gaze holds mine.

I think of Chase’s arm around my throat. Brinklin and Storm surrounding me, too.

“Is there anyone you can think of?” she asks me quietly.

Then I remember something else. Something that doesn’t really make sense. Silas said Cortland’s mom called him and told him I was seen hanging out with Cortland. But why would his mom do that? I don’t know anything about her, but that seemsstrange. She was defensive of her son during the pre-trial. Fierce in protecting him. To call my stepdad would put her in a bad position if anything ever came from this again.

I hold Sloane’s gaze. “Sloane.”

She shakes her head. “I saw you with him,” she says quietly.

My throat feels tight and my heart races in my chest. I resist the urge to glance at him now, but I can still feel his eyes on me.

“In the cemetery. You know, I used to go with you there. Not just Van. Me, too.”

She did. Even last year, we’d walk around the graveyard. But I always thought she was just indulging me. I thought she kind of hated it. Now, though, she almost sounds hurt that she saw me with him and with Van, and it was rarely ever her at my side.

I don’t know what to say.

She knew.

All along, she knew, and she never said anything.

“Why didn’t you?—”

“Why didn’tyou?”she counters, cutting me off, knowing exactly what I was going to ask her.

My stomach flips and my palms are sweaty at my sides. “But you toldSilas?”I ask, incredulous.

She shakes her head. “Of course not. I told Mom.” She has the decency to look ashamed at that, glancing down at the asphalt between us. “After I saw your… arm. She might have called him, to make sure you were safe.”

That’s almost hilarious. I assume he covered for Mrs. Stevens so I’d keep being myself around Sloane and he could get more dirt on me if he needed it.

I take a step back from her and her gaze snaps up.

She throws up her hands. “You scared me, Remi. And I found the razor blades,” she says in a rush. “I tossed my backpack on the floor and it hit a drawer in your desk that popped open. I went to close it and… they were just… there.” She drops herhands and her face is so pale. Her eyes are big and scared and I want to disappear.

I want to run to Cortland.

Hop in his truck and have him drive me far away from here.

She doesn’t get it, because of course she doesn’t. Because I’m messed up.

“You scared me and I’ve been worried about you and…” She takes a step toward me and that urge to bolt grows stronger, but I dig my nails into my palms and force myself to stay right where I am. “You can’t be with him, Remi,” she whispers. “He’s fucking with your head. Maybe you needed to talk about it, and work it out, but hehurt you, Remi.” She takes another step, her hand coming gently to my arm. I want to yank it out of her touch, but I don’t move.

“I thought you might understand,” I whisper, even though I never once thought that. “But I didn’t know how to tell you?—”

“I do understand,” she insists, closing her fingers around my arm. “I know it’s been eating at you and you probably needed closure since the charges were dismissed but he hasn’t changed. He did it once, he’d do it again.” She drops her voice to a whisper with her next words. “I’ve heard from other girls on the cheer team that Maya Bell said he’sroughwith her.”

I clench my teeth and I want to shrug her arm off. I want to turn to Cortland and ask him if that’s true.

“Is it always like this?”

“It’s never like it is with you.”

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