Page 22 of Did They Break You

Heat rises from my neck up to my cheeks. I squirm in my seat, aware that I’m showing all signs of my discomfort, but I can’t seem to stop. “See what?” I ask him, my voice hoarse.

He flashes a smile and I note the imperfections of his teeth. They’re so white, but slightly crooked, which always struck me as odd. His mom works for one of the wealthiest law firms in the state, and I’ve seen the Adler mansion. It’s where we’re headed, after this.

Wolves territory.

Nerves cause sweat to dampen the back of my neck, and I run my hand through my dark blonde hair, trying to cool myself off.

Just relax, Rems.

“Everything,” he answers me, shifting in his seat to face me more fully, his seatbelt off. He has one hand on the wheel, and I note the veins over the back of it, leading up to his corded forearms. His skin is tan, evidence of all his time spent outdoors. There’s a splash of freckles across his face, over his nose.

I stare at them as I try to think through what he just said, but I keep wondering the same thing…how did I end up here?Cortland isn’t loud, never commanding the center of attention, but everyone at West seemed to orbit around him. Maya, the cheerleading captain, was the first girl he dated when he transferred.

But I saw his lingering looks.

Maya did, too, and she made sure I knew it.

I wince as I think about when I dismounted at practice, the day she caught him staring at me during lunch when I was sitting with Sloane, my nose in a book. She “dropped” me, and my other two spotters couldn’t keep me upright.

I twisted my ankle, but it could’ve been so much worse.

I never told Cort that. They broke up soon after, and it seemed like karma was working in my favor for once.

And after graduation, he asked me out.

I don’t know what he sees in me, but this summer has been magic. At least, in the few stolen moments Silas has had trips to handle business for his construction equipment company and I can sneak out. Only a handful of times, and never long enough, but Cortland never seems to complain.

Next week, we go off to college.

And there are still things we haven’t done. Things that might indicate we could be together long-term. I’ve never met his family. He’s never met mine—thinking of my stepdad finding out I have a boyfriend makes me want to vomit.

And we haven’t had sex.

Nothing more than making out.

Mainly because of how we choose to spend our time. In his truck. At the park. Movie theater, hole-in-the-wall restaurants that I choose, knowing Silas nor his connections would ever go there.

“No boys. No sex. Don’t be fucking stupid, Remi.”

I swallow down the tightness in my throat and glance down at our hands. Silas won’t be home until tomorrow night, well after I’ve gone to bed. I have his flight itinerary in my email.

Still, my nerves feel raw as they do every time I lie to Silas.

Tonight, he thinks I’m with my best friend, Sloane. But Slo is down at the coast; her older sister due to give birth any day now. Silas doesn’t care much about Sloane because her family is middle class and anything that doesn’t bring my stepdad connections is worthless to him.

Including, for the most part, me.

“Baby,” Cort says, and my breath catches with that word. I look up, feeling my cheeks heat again. I run my clammy palm over my destroyed blue jeans, hidden in Sloane’s locker because the only time Silas thinks it’s appropriate for me to show any skin is in my cheerleading uniform.

“Boys don’t like used goods, Remi.”

A chill crawls down my spine.

Another memory surfaces. His lingering looks after Mom passed.

I push it back.

“Yeah?” I ask Cort, forcing a smile.

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