Page 85 of Did They Break You

Another weekend has nearly passed, and the fourth week of classes is coming up tomorrow. I’ve seen Cortland once since we collided after therapy, when I was walking with Van to eat lunch in the cemetery on Friday.

He glared at me but kept his mouth shut.

He hasn’t followed me anywhere.

I’m grateful.

Sweat beads on the back of my neck as I try to hold Sloane’s green eyes. I glance out the windows at the darkening sky and swallow down my nerves. “No,” I tell her, “I’m good.”

I don’t dare look at the scissors on my desk.

It’s becoming a daily habit. It’s like getting coffee. Or brushing my teeth.

Scratching an itch.

Cutting any moment I’m alone.

I cross my arms over my chest, my laptop screen dimming in front of me. The keys are sticking which makes typing hard anyway. The thing is ancient but I’m not going to ask Silas for anything more than he gives me on a weekly basis. He’d just laugh in my face.

Sloane tilts her head. “Are you sure you’re not…” She trails off and my skin crawls.She can’t know.She hasn’t brought Cortland up once, which, if I think about it, is a little odd. He’s the quarterback. Sloane doesn’t cheer anymore, but she enjoyed football. I know she hasn’t gone to any games and she’s been spending time with Asa, but… I wonder if she’s not talking about it for my sake.

A hot wave of guilt flushes through me again.

She takes a deep breath.

I hold my own.

“You’re not mad I’m going to my sister’s instead of Grim are you?” she finally blurts out.

I blink at her. Then relief cools away my discomfort. Oh my God.ShethinksI’mmad ather.

I should feel sickened by that, since I’m fucking up our friendship, but instead, I can only laugh. “Sloane, what? No.” I shake my head, feeling my shoulders relax, my entire body less tense. “No, not at all,” I tell her honestly.

She seems to relax too, sinking back into her chair as she tilts her head back, staring up at the ceiling. “Oh, thank fuck, because I was worried you were secretly hating me because I’m going to miss your birthday.” She dips her chin. “And by the way, I’mnotgoing to. I have your gifts planned, okay?” She glances at the poster fromI Know What You Did Last Summerpinned above my desk. A scene from Dawson’s Beach, it was a gift from Van. Her nose wrinkles but she looks back at me with a grin. “I have them and you’ll get thembeforeI go.” She brushes her fingers through her hair. “And Van can suck my dick because my presents are gonna be better than his.”

I laugh, areallaugh, for the first time in a long time. “I’ll be sure to tell him. You know he swings both ways.”

Sloane shakes her head. “I thought so.” She shifts her legs off her desk and scoots closer to it, opening up her laptop. “I’m glad I got this off my chest, Rems.” Her voice is quieter, and she taps her keyboard, waiting for her computer to light up. “You know…,” she glances at me, and I breathe in. Out.

In. Out.

“You can talk to me about anything, right?”

I look away, suddenly finding a spot of lint on the sleeve of my black hoodie very interesting. “I know, Slo,” I tell her, the words thick in my mouth. The lie heavy on my tongue.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FOUR

CORTLAND

I bite back a smile,glancing up at the graveyard across from me even as I read the text on my screen.

Fuck yourself, Mom.

Linda

You seen her again?

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