Page 1 of Embers in the Dark

Baylee

LAST FALL

I thinkI love you and I want to have your babies.

“Baylee?” Tucker pulls me from my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I look up at his forest-green eyes, and I have to stop myself from staring for too long or I’ll give myself away.

I honestly love him so much, and I’m too chickenshit to admit it to his face. I came home yesterday with every intention of telling him I wanted something more than friendship. But, when I found him on the other side of my parents’ front door I lost my nerve and now I’m just sitting here in my childhood home watching him move around my kitchen.

“I asked how school is going this semester.” He looks at me as he makes us sandwiches.

“Oh, it’s going really well,” I say, grabbing the plate he hands me.

“Good. Your brother said you’re liking your classes.” He smiles at me as he takes a bite of his sandwich. Man, he’s got the most gorgeous mouth. I can’t help staring at him as he chews.

I bite my lower lip, once again lost in thought about how I want to devour him instead of the food in front of me.

“You okay?” he asks between bites.

“Yep.” I try to look completely unfazed.

I have no clue how this guy has me tied up in knots. I’m not like this with anyone else—just Tucker Malloy. He’s my kryptonite and I go gaga over him. I’m tongue-tied when he’s around, or I stutter, or turn into Jello. Fuck. I’m Baylee-fucking-Rios. I’m confident. I’m strong. I’m empowered. Yet, here I am looking like the biggest fool because I’m head over heels in love with my childhood neighbor.

This summer I was home from college, and he was around a lot visiting his mom and seeing my brother. Tucker lives in Dover, which is roughly thirty miles outside of Boston. He visits often, but now that I’m in Connecticut, I don’t see him frequently.

I can’t say it was my imagination that I caught his gaze lingering on me a few extra seconds whenever we crossed paths. I know my feelings for him have been one-sided for years. But, based on his reaction to me this summer, I know he has something brewing for me too.

With any other guy, I’m direct. I’d come right out and make my move. But with Tucker, there’s so much more on the line. He’s pretty much part of my family. He’s embedded in the fabric of my fucking life.

I tried to let this crush go as the summer passed. Honestly, I’ve been trying to move on for years. The problem is each moment that passes I feel like my feelings for Tucker are multiplying and it’s getting out of control. I can’t even go on dates anymore without thinking about him. I compare every guy to him. The last time I went on a date, I even watched the guy chew his food and decided I couldn’t continue the date because he chewed differently than Tucker. Get a grip, Baylee!

I internally roll my eyes at how ridiculous I’m being. I've got to get this shit together and come out with it already. That’s what this weekend was about. I promised myself that if I saw Tucker, I’d come clean and tell him how I’m feeling because I’m better than this.

The kitchen is silent as we eat our sandwiches. I look up from my plate to find him looking right at me. I can feel the heat of his gaze as he watches me, like my skin is on fire. God, he’s attractive. My original thought stands—I want to have this man’s babies.

I put the sandwich down and Tucker smiles at me. I can’t help the smile I return.

“You’ve got mustard on the side of your mouth,” he tells me.

I stick my tongue out and swipe at the side, hoping I got it. “Did I get it?”

“Not even close.” He chuckles. He moves his thumb to drag at the corner of my mouth. The gesture is simple, yet incredibly intimate. The moment he does it I can’t help but lean into his touch. I automatically close my eyes and feel my cheeks flame.

I flutter my eyes open, thinking Tucker will pull his hand away, but he keeps it on my cheek, cupping the side of my face. The gesture is so affectionate, I want to stay here for as long as possible.

Our eyes are locked and I bring my hand to cover his. It would be so easy to move my face in to kiss the inside of his palm. I could cross this line and see what happens. I could ignite whatever it is I feel is happening between us. Oh, how I want to push us a little further.

“Baylee, what are we?—”

“Hey, Malloy, are you here?” my brother’s voice echoes through the house and Tucker’s hand moves so quickly away from my face, I almost think I was in a dream.

He straightens as my brother walks into the kitchen. I feel like a bucket of ice water was thrown across my body. I’m still trying to adjust to the change between Tucker and I, so I’m quiet as my brother looks between his best friend and me.

“Um, hi. Am I interrupting?” Danny says.

“Of course not,” Tucker says. I can tell he’s uncomfortable by his tone.

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