Page 85 of Savage King

You just lost it, remember? Just a few minutes ago, you were agonizing about this mafia life, and now you're all happy to bring a baby into it? If you're pregnant with Antonio's baby,he'll either never let you go, or you won't ever see that baby again. My heart hammers furiously at that thought.

No, he would never hurt me. Never.I know that with absolute certainty.

But do I really want this life?

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I try to think back only a few days—a week?—ago. I go back in time and look at myself talking to Elli. After everything that has happened, I don't think I'll ever be able to be that Scarlet again. Not to mention, I'll be single for the rest of my life because there won't be a single man on this entire fucking planet who will measure up to Antonio.

Not that I want anybody other than him.

So, are you ready to give itallup for him?

The answer is simple: Yes!

Then you need to live with the consequences.

I glare at my reflection as if saying goodbye to an old friend, and in a way, I am. Because the old Scarlet is gone for good; she won't be coming out for girls’ night again. But that's okay, because the new Scarlet will have a much more exciting—shorter! My mind warns, which I ignore—life. Because my mind can't possibly know that, and even if it is true, I would much rather spend a year with Antonio living my best life than live sixty or seventy years alone and miserable.

After that short but life-changing internal debate, I head intomycloset to select a new outfit—hopefully, this one will last past an hour or so—and take my painkillers before I once again descend the stairs.

The yelling in Antonio's office has subsided some, but I can still see his tendons prominently displayed when I enter.

"Passerotta, you look stunning," he greets me.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, we were just finishing up." Antonio sends meaningful glares at Vito and Igio. On cue, the two bow out.

"I didn't mean to kick them out." I walk over to Antonio, who folds me into his arms as if we had been separated for days instead of an hour or two.

"You didn't. They have work to do."

"Penance?" I ask with a small grin.

He scrutinizes me before his lips pull up. "Something like that."

"You're not sending them to have some poor woman's pinky cut off, are you?" I tease, ignoring my turning stomach at the thought.What thehellis wrong with you?

"I was more thinking about a big toe," he replies, studying me, testing me. I can't help it; I shudder, and he laughs.

"Finally, I was beginning to worry you might be more bloodthirsty than I am."

I shake my head. "No, I tried, but… no, I don't think I can do this."

"You don't need to worry, passerotta. You don't have to do anything. I'll be right here to shield you."

"If this," I point between the two of us, "whatever this is, is going to work, I don't need to be shielded. I don't want to be shielded.Well, maybe from the gorier details," I amend. "But I want to know what is happening, okay? I need you to be honest with me."

"I've told you before, if you're in, you're in; there is no backing out. Ever."

I swallow and nod. "I understand."

His gaze lingers on me. "Give it some more time. I don't want you to make any life-altering decisions while you're in a very vulnerable state."

I am in a very vulnerable state. He's right. But dammit, I just decided what I want. "I don't need time, Antonio." I take a deep breath, summon my courage. You can do this, new Scarlet. "I'm yours."

He stares at me. If he says he doesn't want me…

"Are you sure?"

---