Page 27 of Knuckle's Dispute

Chapter Thirteen

Knuckles

JANESSA DISAPPEAREDAND Doc couldn’t get a hold of her when the results of the paternity test came in.I showed up at his office and we waited for a while.Longer than I’ll ever admit to anyone.On my part it was because I wanted to see Janessa up close.It feels like forever since I was close to her.Since I held her in my arms while she slept and held her child close to her body.Anyway, Janessa never showed up.When Doc called her, she told him she was out of town and wouldn’t be back before the office closed for the day.They made arrangements to meet tomorrow but Janessa was more than happy to let me be told the results of the paternity test before her.Once Doc was off the phone with her, he handed over the results and I’m still not sure how to feel about things.

A son.I have a son with Janessa.She was telling me the truth this entire time and I’ve done nothing but push her away and accuse her of lying to me.When I read the papers Doc handed over, my heart stopped in my chest for a minute before kick starting once more.I was always content to hang out with the kids in the clubhouse, never wanting more than a little bit of time with them if their parents were busy and needed one of us to give them a hand for a while.Or when one of the guys was on a run and one of the ol’ ladies needed some help with the kids so she could do something.Now, I have a son of my own and I want to know every single detail about him.I want to be there every single day and help Janessa raise our son and be a better father than I was ever shown growing up.

When I left Doc’s office, I rode around Frostford for a while to try and clear my head.It didn’t work.I’ve found it’s extremely rare when a ride doesn’t make me forget the troubles filling my head.Today, there was no way in hell a ride did what I needed it to do.That only let me understand going to the gym wasn’t going to work either.Sparring with someone would only lead to one of us getting hurt.My head wouldn’t have been in the ring where it needed to be and I refuse to hurt someone because my thoughts are consuming me in ways I try so hard not to let happen now that I’m an adult.

After stopping to grab something to eat, I made my way back to the clubhouse and ignored everyone when I pulled in and walked into the common room.It was full and I could tell the guys were getting ready for a party.Those haven’t really mattered to me lately and I’d rather hang out with the guys having a few drinks over trying to force the Slayer Slits to leave me alone.They’re getting even bolder with their attempts to trap one of us and it’s annoying as fuck.Everyone stared at me as I made my way through the room and directly upstairs.The only thing I heard was Tease telling everyone to leave me alone and that he’d check on me later on.My best friend will always have my back and that’s one of the reasons I’ll do anything for that man.Well, other than beating the fuck out of him for saying he’d be with Janessa and a father to my son.

Now, I sit on the roof of the clubhouse.From here, I can see every single inch of the compound and watch over the place.This is my spot when nothing else will clear my head.Tease is the only one who ever comes up here with me.That’s only after he’s given me some time to try and sort things out on my own first.Today, my eyes aren’t watching over the entire compound.I’m watching Janessa’s cabin.She’s currently sitting outside with our son in her arms as she stares out at nothing.No, I can’t see anything in detail, but I can read her body language.

Janessa’s arms are wrapped tightly around our son as she sits in the rocking chair, gently rocking back and forth.Her head is slightly tipped to the side while a blanket is draped over her body.There is a slight chill in the air and I can tell our son is wrapped up tightly in a thicker blanket.The small hat on his head is barely visible beneath the blanket.Picking up the binoculars I keep up here, I use them to focus on Janessa and make sure she’s truly okay.

Tears are slowly sliding down Janessa’s face.Her skin is whiter than normal and I worry she’s sick with how pale she is.Janessa’s eyes are mainly closed and swollen letting me know she’s been crying for a while now.Her cell phone rests on the arm of the rocking chair and it’s ringing like crazy.Janessa doesn’t even hear it as she lets it go to voicemail only for it to start ringing once again.I can’t see who’s name is on the screen, but if I had to guess it would be one of her brothers.Something happened when she was out of town earlier and I don’t know what’s going on.

The thought of getting with Brick to get the phone number of one of Janessa’s brothers fills me as I try to figure out what’s going on with her.She looks completely defeated and alone in the world as her thoughts consume her.The need to go to her and find out exactly what she’s going through fills me to the point I have to grab onto the side of the chair I’m sitting in.My phone vibrates in my pocket as I ignore it and keep my entire focus on Janessa and our son.

***

I’m not sure how muchtime has passed since I came out here after getting the paternity test results.It’s been a while and the sky has started to darken while the moon appears in the sky.Janessa finally gets up from the rocking chair and grabs her phone at the last second before disappearing back inside the cabin.My eyes go to each window as she walks through the place and heads straight for her bedroom.I watch as she lays the baby down in his bassinet and covers him up completely before sitting on the edge of her bed and resting her head in her hands.Her shoulders shake and I know she’s sobbing once again.

What the fuck happened while she was out of town?

“Micah, you good?”Tease asks me, walking up next to me on the roof where he pulls out another seat and joins me as I set down the binoculars between us.

“No, I’m not.I’ve treated her like shit and it was all for nothin’.Janessa’s son is mine and I don’t know a fuckin’ thing about him.She’s over in that small as fuck cabin all alone takin’ care of him while I’m over here watchin’ her.I know absolutely nothin’ about my own fuckin’ son, Tease,” I tell him, not sure what to do about this situation as I try to watch Janessa walk through the cabin without the binoculars.

“You want to know what I do about your boy?”Tease asks me, his voice softer than normal.

“No.While I want to say yes, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna gain this information from you.This is somethin’ I need to learn from Janessa and when I spend time with my son,” I answer him, my voice a whisper.“Did I fuck this up too badly, Tease?Will Janessa ever be able to forgive me?”

“She’ll forgive you, Micah.You’re not gonna like what you have to do, but she’ll forgive you,” he responds, turning in his seat to look at me.“You’re gonna have to open up and give it all to her.Every last detail of why you don’t trust women, why you hold yourself back, and why you feel the way you do about kids and havin’ an ol’ lady.That’s the only way she’ll even think about startin’ to trust you again.”

“I’ll give it all to her, Tease.Janessa is the only one I’d ever give everythin’ to,” I tell him honestly, not even hesitating in my response.

“And what about the fact that you’ve never liked kids?That’s gonna be a big issue considerin’ you have a son together.”

“I want to get to know my son, Tease.Every little detail about him, Ineedto know.I want to be there every fuckin’ day to watch him grow up and learn new things.To watch him find himself and become independent as he gets older.Every detail of his life means the world to me and I don’t know how to talk to Janessa about any of this shit.Of makin’ her see the truth of my words,” I tell him, letting him see the truth before I turn my attention back to Janessa’s place.

“Good.What the fuck happened to her earlier?She left the compound alone and was gone for a while.When she got back, no one could get near her.Not even Seth.Yes, I know you told him to back the fuck off and leave her alone, but we had to try somethin’.Janessa doesn’t want anyone near her and refused to let anyone inside the cabin.The Prospects are still out there, but they’re stayin’ out of sight so she doesn’t leave again.That’s the last thing we want to happen,” Tease informs me as he turns his attention toward the cabin as well.

“I have no clue.She’s been cryin’ though.Her eyes are swollen as hell and she was starin’ off into space before goin’ back into the cabin with the baby.Do you know how to get in touch with her brothers?They’d know what’s goin’ on with her if she’s told anyone at all,” I ask my best friend as an idea quickly forms in my head.

“I’ve got Aaron’s number.Think we should call him and find out what’s goin’ on?”

“Yeah.He won’t talk to me.Not after knowin’ what I’ve done to Janessa.If you’ve got his number, that means you’ve talked to him before,” I say, knowing Janessa isn’t the only one I have to win over.I also have to win over her brothers and get on their good side if Janessa is gonna have anything to do with me in the future.

I watch as Tease pulls out his phone and places the call to Aaron.

“Aaron, got a question for ya.Janessa is back here at the compound and she’s been cryin’ non-stop.Do you know where she went today and why she’d be this upset?”Tease asks, putting the phone on speaker so I can hear Aaron’s response.

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