“Me? I didn’t do anything. This is really all on you.”

“What’s on me?”

“Well, see…the thing is, when the hospital called, they wanted a next of kin…”

I swallowed hard as I saw where he was going with this. “You didn’t.”

“No! Hell, no, I didn’t. But they didn’t call me. They called Lock.”

“Fucking hell!” I shouted, jumping up and nearly falling over without my crutches to support me. “Why the fuck would he do that?”

“I don’t know! I wasn’t there!”

I looked around in panic. This was my oasis, my sanctuary. There was no way I could have my mom here. She would kill the vibe. “You have to make her leave.”

“Leave? She hasn’t even gotten in yet! I mean, in another twenty minutes?—”

“That’s all I have? Twenty minutes?” I shoved my fingers through my hair and tried hopping into the kitchen. There was no way she could be here. I had things—man things around the house that she didn’t need to find.

“You have to help me. If she comes in here?—”

“She won’t see anything,” Chase snorted. “You have literally nothing around here.”

“I have porn!” I shouted, my throat closing in panic. “My mom cannot know that I have a porn collection!”

“Dude,” Chase laughed, looking around the house as if he could see it. “Where is it?”

“All over the fucking place! I have it on the TV! My sheets aren’t clean. I have dirty magazines in the bathroom!”

The panic was getting to me. I was hot and cold, sweating and freezing at the same time. And worse, I knew the look I’d see on my mom’s face when she found my stash. I just hoped she wasn’t wearing her cross. The last thing I needed was another lecture on premarital sex.

“Alright, alright. Calm down,” Chase said soothingly. “We’ll work this out. Just tell me where everything is and I’ll collect it.”

I nodded, glad for the solution. “Okay, uh…in the kitchen drawer.”

His eyes widened slightly, but he walked over and opened the drawers until he found the stash. “Odd place for it, but who am I to judge?”

“Hey, sometimes when I’m cooking, I like to entertain myself.”

He grimaced, shoving the magazines to the corner of the counter. “Remind me to never eat anything you cook.”

“Whatever. Just shove those in a bag.”

He walked over to the pantry and pulled out a grocery bag, to which I laughed at. “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger bag than that.

“You know, I’m going to need compensation for this. I just want you to know I feel extremely dirty right now.”

“And I will be glad to toss a twenty your way when this is over.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, pulling out a garbage bag. “What’s next?”

“Uh…my chair.” I bent over, balancing on the arm of the chair as I reached into the side pocket and pulled out my stash. When I dropped them in the bag, Chase was grimacing at me.

“I sat in that chair.”

“Relax, it’s not like I just jizzed in it before you sat down.”

“Still…” He shuddered in disgust, then continued through the house as I pointed out all my hiding spots.