Page 100 of Suits and Spark Plugs

“Connor seems like a man who would pull his weight and be happy doing it.” Surprised, I turned with my paintbrush still in the air. She grinned. “I know the two of you are dating. Sadie is a chatterbox. Do your future plans include him?”

I shook my head. “It’s only been a couple of weeks. It’s too early to know how he’d play into my future plans.” Lies, lies, lies. I’d done my fair share of daydreaming.

“Then your plans haven’t changed as far as schooling and moving to a larger city for work?”

My brows dropped and I shook my head. “Why should they? I don’t see a reason to change them.” The sternness in my voice was out of proportion to the question, and I knew it, but I wasn’t ready to really say any of this out loud.

“Oh, sorry, I must have misunderstood. I thought you really liked him.”

“I do.”

She unfolded her arms and held up her hands. “It’s a natural question, honey, but one with no right answer. If you and Connor are happy with how things are, then there is plenty of time to figure it all out.”

“Exactly.”

She stood and came to stand next to me. She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “For what it’s worth, I’ve decided I like Connor.”

I looked over at her. “Why?”

“You aren’t an easy person to impress, or to get close to. He’s done both. Plus, he makes your cheeks turn pink.”

“My cheeks aren’t pink.”

“As pink as cotton candy.” Mom laughed as she left the room, leaving the sound of it lingering behind her.

During my dinner shift that night I kept thinking about what Mom had asked about my future plans and Connor. The fact was that I’d thought quite a bit about it, even though I tried to stop myself. I was going to school to be a nurse and I was dating Connor—they were two different tracks in my head that I’d tried to keep separate. However, the lines were blurring and it was overwhelming. My mind worked over the issue while I took orders, cleared tables, filled drinks, and chatted with customers.

What did I want? I wanted the same things I always had. I wanted to be financially independent and secure, and find happiness in knowing I would be in charge of my own destiny.

How would I make that happen? By going to school and establishing myself in a good career.

Where did I want that to happen? I used to be totally committed to seeking out the new in Springfield, but as that thought rolled through my mind, I felt a tug in my gut that made me question it. The truth was that I was no longer sure I needed to leave Oak Hills to make that happen. Oak Hills had a health clinic and a few doctor’s offices. There was also a retirement home in a neighboring town that always seemed to be advertising for nursing staff.

I’d always associated the life I was trying to create with the need to leave my sleepy little town. But now I wondered if the one thing I was trying to escape was the fear of being dependent. If that was the case, I’d fear that wherever I lived. If I found purpose and a career here, then I could find financial freedom here while still being with the people I loved. Where was I trying to run to?

The clearing of my thoughts brought me to a standstill as it solidified in my mind. Oak Hills wasn’t the problem. I could have a good, stable life anywhere I chose to build one. I’d been so busy looking for happiness outside of the familiar that I’d discounted my own strength and the ability I had to make my life whatever I wanted it to be. I’d been putting myself in a box and never understood that. All my judgments and prejudices had only hurt me.

“Liv, I’m going to send you home early and call someone else in if you don’t put your head into the game,” Jake growled at me.

I unfroze, suddenly aware that I’d been staring into the kitchen through the window. I cringed, deserving the set down. “Sorry, Jake. I think I just had an epiphany.”

“Well, if you need a doctor go see one. Otherwise get back to work.” He slammed a plate down into the window with the practice of someone who knew exactly how to get attention without breaking anything.

I shook my head, a smile warming my face. “No, I’m great, actually.” I picked up the plate and got back to work.

The next couple of hours flew while I cast away old thoughts in favor of new ones. The truly amazing thing was that these new thoughts were more empowering than the protective, shielded thoughts I’d been surrounding myself with. Staying skeptical of love and wary of partnership was only feeding into itself by keeping me alone and scared.

I felt almost giddy with emotion when my shift ended. I needed to tell Connor everything. It was late, but I decided to drive past his house anyhow. I appreciated the clever way his mind worked and knew that together we could cut through all the smoke to settle on something new. I trusted him with my future, and the realization had my hands trembling on the steering wheel.

His porch light wasn’t on, but his screen door was open, emitting a soft glow that showed his shadowy form in the swing when I pulled into the driveway behind his truck. I was glad he was still up. I knew he went to bed early, having to open shop at 7:00am. I’d served him enough 6:30 breakfasts to know.

He stood and walked down the porch steps, reaching my door by the time I’d parked and killed the engine. I got out and walked straight into a hug, one of his arms coming around me while the other shut my car door.

“Livy,” he said softly, bending close so that his lips were near my ear, “this is a nice surprise.”

The greeting made my scalp tingle. I did my best to return the embrace, but I was nearly dancing with the enormity of what I’d discovered today. My hands felt like they had live wires shooting out of my fingertips, and I wiggled out of his embrace without exactly meaning to. He looked down at me with a curious smile.

Words rushed out. “I’m sorry it’s so late, but I really had to talk to you.” I belatedly noticed that he was wearing flannel pajama pants and a white T-shirt, and his feet were bare. He’d been relaxing for a minute before going to bed. “I should have called first.”

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