Page 39 of Suits and Spark Plugs

My head whipped around in time to see Sadie disappear over a rise. Her tube was still laying by mine. “That’s rude.”

“I don’t think she cares about being rude to you right now,” he stated.

“She rarely does.”

“If this is how it goes when she’s out with you, I can’t blame her.” Connor chuckled.

“So much for sister bonding time. I’ll have to do something less outdoorsy next time.” I started to bend down to pick up our tubes, but I paused and glanced back to Connor. “Really, though, wasn’t that the most hysterical thing you’ve seen in a long time?” I asked.

He looked to the top of the hill, then back at me, and at last his face relaxed into an amused expression. “I haven’t seen someone fly that high in a while.”

“Right?” I felt a laugh bubble up and turn into full blown hysterics.

Connor joined me, both of us grinning wildly. It felt amazing to let go and laugh, holding nothing back. My face started to hurt, and I could feel tears of merriment gathering under my eyes. It really had been the funniest thing. I knew Sadie would hold it against me for a while, but even that didn’t dim my enjoyment. I’d needed to laugh my head off.

I gradually remembered that Kelly was standing there too, and sheepishly looked to her, intent on including her in the funny moment, but her expression was serious as she glanced back and forth between Connor and me. Her face grew thoughtful, which terrified me. I quickly gathered up our tubes and said a friendly farewell before she could say anything. I had no interest in whatever it was that had made Kelly look at us that way.

* * * * *

I breathed in deeply the soft fragrances of lavender and vanilla as they floated around me. Gentle fingers scrubbed my palms and fingers, massaging and relaxing them. The nail salon was warm, soft music played from hidden speakers, and I curled my toes at the delicious feel of it.

“This is the nicest thing I’ve done for myself in a long time.” I looked over at Sadie in the chair next to me with a silly grin. “Made even better by knowing I can’t afford this. It makes me feel like I’m doing something illegal.”

We were sitting side by side, our hands soaking in warm, bubbly water. While a few days earlier I’d teased her at the sledding hill, I hadn’t forgotten my flash of insight over how much Sadie must be hurting. This was my way of trying to have a girl’s day redo. I’d spent so much time feeling frustrated with my mom over how she hung on, waiting, stagnating, and forcing us all to live in limbo, rather than calling my dad out and making some decisions.

For a long time I’d done the same. For me, the first step to breaking out had been going back to school. I was ashamed to admit that I’d not given Sadie’s situation much thought. So, my second step was going to be showing up for my baby sister and seeing how I could help her through things.

Sadie looked down at her hands, something intent in her expression that I hadn’t seen for a while. The defensive, sour look was gone, and I knew she was churning over something. I waited patiently.

Finally, she spoke. “Why does Dad think he can just show up and make us breakfast and everything will be okay?” she asked. It was all I could do to keep my face passive.

I’d kind of hoped to eventually work up to some real conversations with her, but I’d totally assumed I’d have to drag it out of her like a magpie with a jewel. This was not how I’d seen our manicure afternoon going.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “But it made me mad too.”

“If he does it again, I’m going to change the locks.” Sadie finally looked up at me. “He doesn’t have the right to come and go as he pleases anymore.”

Now it was my turn to look down at my hands while I thought quickly. She wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t thought. “I’ll be honest, I wish we could too. It’s still his house legally, though, and Mom doesn’t seem to want to change that.”

“Why does she hang on? Doesn’t she realize how much of a loser that makes her?”

Two manicurists came and sat down across from us, taking our hands out of the water and wiping them on warm, soft towels. I was grateful for the moment to think before responding. Rather than getting defensive and angry over her trashing Mom that way, I heard the betrayal behind her words. After all, wasn’t my reasoning for going to school as simple as not wanting to be trapped like my mother was?

We chose polish colors and settled in. I took a deep breath. “I’ve never been in love the way Mom and Dad were,” I said. “They’ve been married for twenty-six years. It’s not easy to just throw that away.”

“Dad did,” Sadie grumbled.

She wasn’t wrong. It did feel that way. “I’ve been mad at Mom too.”

Sadie’s eyes grew round as she looked at me. Just as round as they’d been as a toddler, and my heart pinched. “Really?” she said.

“Yeah, really.”

We fell into silence for a little while, lost in our own thoughts and distracted by the work being done to our hands. It was a nice silence. Not loaded with annoyance like it so often was between us lately. Maybe this would be a good first step to opening up with each other. I hoped so.

I heard Sadie take a deep breath and couldn’t wait to hear what she was going to say. “So, that Connor guy from the tubing hill?”

Never mind, I could wait. “What about him?”

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