Page 51 of Suits and Spark Plugs

“Why? I’m here every week.” I picked up the cleaning bucket and moved past him on my way back toward the office to deposit the supplies. When I came out of the closet, he was standing in the office doorway, leaning up against the frame, his arms folded across his chest.

“Did you need something?” I asked.

“No. Nothing specific. Just checking in.”

“Well, I’m here and I’m busy.”

“And possibly a touch grumpy?”

I felt immediately humiliated, which only fanned the flames of frustration. “Well, you would be too if you were planning out a breakup dialogue while scrubbing toilets.”

“Probably.” His voice held a wary tone that caused me to glance his way. “What happened?”

“Blaine thinks I’m this...this...malleable piece of dough that he can form into something perfect. He has a whole life all prepared to simply plug me into. He’s attempting to Stepford Wife me.” My voice caught, and I stopped talking to take a few breaths.

“Huh.”

I nodded. “The thing is that I’ve told him I won’t be dependent on anyone. I’m not just waiting around for a man to show up. I’m in the driver’s seat of my own life.”

“Sure.”

I took a few deep breaths and managed to admit something I wasn’t proud of. “He says I don’t know how to be a team player.”

Connor’s face remained passive. “I always thought being on a team meant everyone was equal.”

“Well, he wants to be the captain, or the coach, or whoever bosses everyone around and tells them what position they’ll be playing.” I looked down at my hands, which were bunched into fists. “All I’d have to do is say yes and he’d hand me this perfect life on a silver platter.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to, though. I want to figure it all out myself. Can’t I be independent and still be in a relationship?” I looked back up to where he was standing just a few steps away.

“I’ve always thought so. I wouldn’t want someone trying to change me and calling it love.”

His words resonated deep within me, and my legs felt weak enough that I sat down hard in the chair behind me. “Yes, exactly. Love isn’t about changing someone to fit your mold.”

The office was quiet as I looked toward the desk and thought over what he’d said. He was right, and it confirmed what I’d known to be true. Love wasn’t about conforming so much that you lost who you were. It was about accepting each other and finding ways to fit your differences together.

“Have you talked to Blaine about all of this?”

“Sort of.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just a fight?”

My lips pinched and I looked down at my feet. “Yes. I’m sure. He’s set on creating a life for me that I’m not interested in. There’s no way for us to meet in the middle.”

“What are you going to do?”

I looked back up to where he was still standing nearby. “I’m going to use your office resources to look online for breakup dialogues even though I should be studying.”

“You care if I stay and see what the internet has to say about breaking up?” His expression was one of amused hope and it made me grin.

I gestured to the seat behind the desk. His chair, even though I commandeered it sometimes. “Definitely. I’ll pull a chair around. Let’s fire this puppy up and see what the world’s wisdom has to offer.”

The world’s wisdom, it turned out, was pretty basic. Do it face to face, give them your reasons, wish them the best in life, and avoid blaming them. Those, at least, were the proper steps to take. We drifted away from those after a time into the world of how not to break up and ended up laughing until our sides hurt.

During that hour together I sort of wished I could go back and tell fifteen-year-old me that someday Connor would stop dating anything that breathed and settle into a pretty decent human.

* * * * *

Blaine arrived on my front porch at just before one o’clock the next afternoon. The sky lit him from straight above, making his blond hair sparkle a bit. He was dressed handsomely in a royal blue suit and pressed shirt. No tie today, which was different.

The cold air bit at my skin, causing me to shiver as I rubbed my hands over my arms. “Hi,” I said uneasily. “I thought we were going to meet at the restaurant.”

---