Page 54 of Suits and Spark Plugs

I didn’t rise to the bait. “I guess this is goodbye then.”

He leaned sideways to tug out his wallet and threw a wad of cash on the table without counting it, before standing and slapping down his napkin next to the green bills. “It would appear so.” He stood and put his napkin on the table.

The breakup websites had all said to end with a well-wish, and as my brain was mush I fell back on their advice, saying the first thing I could think of as he looked down at me. “Good luck with everything.”

“Luck is something I have never needed.” He spun in a tight circle and was out of the building in a flash.

The tears I’d expected didn’t fall, but my spirit sank into the chair as I let the feelings hit me. He’d said horrible things, cruel things, and I’d had no idea he’d seen me as his rescue mission. It stung in a way I had never experienced, even as it also filled me with a new resolve to prove myself.

I was in no way less than he was. Iwasa team player. Who was he to say that the need inside of me to never become dependent on anyone else meant that I had no flexibility in my heart?

My thoughts spun in circles as I sat in that little restaurant, reflecting on the ending of my first relationship. I felt like I’d been so fooled by him. I felt like I’d let myself down as well, breaking my own promise to avoid anything that would distract me from my goals.

Yet, as his heated words sank further in I began to wonder what part I’d played in the disaster. Had I somehow morphed into a closed-off, distrustful, rabidly independent person? Had I stopped trusting in others? If so, what did I do now? Who did I really want to be?

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Iwas sitting on hard, wobbly bleachers at the local recreation center a week later, watching a handful of men warm up to play basketball. Kelly’s boyfriend, Scott, was one of them. “It smells like dirty socks,” I grumbled to her.

“I think it’s the scent of the floor varnish, because I’ve never been to a gymnasium that didn’t smell bad.”

“Do people still use the wordgymnasium?” I tried to keep a straight face.

“I’m a person and I just used it.” Kelly kicked my foot with the side of hers. “Focus less on the smell and more on those sweet calf muscles of my boyfriend’s.”

“I’m not comfortable ogling your man.” This time I chuckled.

“He’s man enough to handle us both ogling him,” Kelly replied serenely.

“Remind me again why I’m spending my Saturday morning in a gym watching thirty-year-old men chase a ball back and forth.” I leaned against the brick wall behind us and flinched as one of the men made a quick turn and the squeak of his shoes on the wood floor reverberated through the room.

“You’ve been grumpy this week.”

“I’m getting that a lot lately, but I think it’s my most endearing personality trait.”

She made a face. “Maybe in the past, but you’ve been like Oscar the Grouch level, and it was time for you to leave your house and breathe some new air.”

“Which explains why you brought me to the land of stale, stinky, sweaty air?”

“It was this or hot yoga at the retirement home.”

I laughed, and it felt good. Kelly was right, I’d needed to get out. I wasn’t broken-hearted, but I was grumpy and a little mopey after the breakup with Blaine and the self-esteem hit that had been. Obviously, it was disappointing to realize that he and I had been envisioning very different things—including the truth about each other. Plus, it was totally normal after a breakup to play the game of “poor me” and “I’m going to die alone.” At least I’d heard that was normal. All the breakup websites I’d been visiting said it was.

Kelly’s sigh pulled my attention back. “Be honest, don’t you think my boyfriend is the best-looking guy on the court?”

“Out of the five men out there, yes, he is the best.”

I grinned when Kelly pulled a face at me and said, “Count again. There are seven of them, and he’s still the hottest.”

I only smiled. Scott’s dark hair was trimmed close, as was his equally dark beard. With his olive skin and lean build he was definitely attractive. I watched as he ran toward the hoop and hooked his arm to make a layup. The lines of his body were graceful, and I began sketching them in my mind. He’d be an interesting character to paint. Maybe, if the relationship lasted, I could do some kind of portrait for Kelly’s summer birthday. I let my mind wander over colors and patterns while I stared unseeing at a wall across the way.

Another squeak of a shoe pulled me back. It had been a long time since I’d sat on bleachers and watched basketball. I wasn’t a huge sports fan, but I had to admit that smells aside, it was nice to be looking at something besides my bedroom wall, or the diner booths. My social life had gotten very small lately.

We silently watched Scott’s team continue to warm up. They were all men in the eighteen to thirty age range with a variety of skills and a lot of trash talk.

“Are you sure we aren’t going to witness a group homicide here today?” I asked Kelly after I heard a man say something about the bodies never being found.

“Scott says that trash talking pumps them up. The worst I’ve ever seen happen is someone twisting an ankle.”

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