Page 78 of Suits and Spark Plugs

I looked out the window, not really seeing the view of the back yard. “I’ll have to pass. I’ve really got plenty on my plate already.”

He moved toward the doorway, and I felt the warmth return to my limbs as he drew close. My body was a traitor. “Livy, are you...”

I cut him off in a friendly way. “I’m great. Will I see you at the diner soon?” He nodded. “All right.” I stepped through the doorway into the hall. “I’ll walk you out.”

He hurried to catch me in the hallway, his warm hand landing on my shoulder. I stopped walking and took a deep breath before turning to him with what I hoped was a bright expression.

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure we’re okay?” He was trying to read my face again, and I almost felt bad, knowing I was confusing him. I couldn’t help it, though. I had to maintain this for just a few more minutes.

“I’m good. Really. Good. This was a good talk.” I sounded like an idiot.

The fact that the living room was empty as we passed through onto the front porch barely registered. Sadie’s crew must have relocated. I was glad to avoid them and their curious eyes.

“Well...” I said when I came to a stop just outside the front door.

Connor stood next to me, shoulders nearly touching, and stared off in the same direction I was looking. He tucked his hands into his pockets, and I couldn’t help but notice his jaw seemed tight. Being friends was going to be really hard.

“I’ll see you soon?” he finally said.

“Yep.”

He sighed and turned to me. “I don’t know what I said wrong just now, but I know I did something because you’ve shut down on me.”

I dared to meet his eyes and knew it was a mistake. The urge to kiss him again rose inside of me like wildfire. It had been so much better not knowing how being with him would feel. I shifted my bare feet. I wanted to tell him that I not only liked him, but I was attracted to him, and that the kiss we’d shared had been amazing. I wanted him to know that his arms around me felt like magic.

It didn’t seem to matter, though. I couldn’t do it. Images of him with so many other women floated icily along in my mind’s eye. They taunted me, telling me I’d never have him either. I was too raw from all that had happened over the past half hour to combat any of that with logic, or to exercise faith in either Connor or myself. So, in an effort at protection, I lied.

“No, there’s just so much going on and it was a shock...everything that just happened, you know?” I said. “I need a minute to sort it all out.”

He turned to face me, leaned close, and pressed a kiss to my forehead. My eyes slid shut as a trickle of heat raced from that spot down to the tips of my fingers. His lips lingered longer than necessary, long enough to raise goosebumps on my arms. Then he was gone, down the steps, and into his truck before I’d opened my eyes.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Ilay in bed the next morning staring at my ceiling for a few minutes after the alarm had gone off, reflecting on the crazy state of my life. In the pasts few months I’d dated, broken up, staged an intervention with my family, realized I was “in-like” with a sworn enemy, and just generally watched my life roller-coaster away from itself.

I had a choice to make. I could do another hermit session—but really, hadn’t I already done enough of those over the past week—or I could get up, dust myself off, and be the fierce woman I knew I was. I was capable of getting things back on track. Even if my heart ached with every beat.

Admitting to myself, my mother, and Kelly how I felt about Connor had opened a door that I was going to need to weld shut again. Sadly, the only person I knew who owned a welder was Connor himself. It was a junky conundrum.

I got out of bed and padded to the shower, letting the hot spray work away the tightness in my shoulders and neck, along with the leftover feeling of Connor holding me close. I cried too, telling myself that I could have this moment to wallow and then I would face the world once more. I was done hiding. I needed to be able to respect myself at the end of the day.

I pulled into the employee parking area of the diner just in time to see Connor’s truck pull out. He didn’t notice me, and I was grateful for it. It was a good sign that he’d returned, but I was glad to have one more day before we came face to face.

Work was a welcome respite from my own traitorous mind, and for the next two days I dove so hard into my job that Jake complimented me, and Kelly expressed her concern for my mental health. At home I studied so hard that Mom had to beg me to get some fresh air. Sadie even offered to paint my nails, but I was a machine made of pure stone.

On the third day, Connor’s schedule finally lined up with mine. As luck would have it, he seated himself at the counter area where I was working breakfast. My stomach lurched when I turned to see him, but his head was down and he hadn’t noticed my eyes on him yet. I took in a deep breath and counted to five as I let it out slowly, trying to calm the butterflies in my chest. He appealed to me in ways I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to control.

“Well, hey stranger,” I chirped as I came to stand across the countertop from him. “How you been?”

He looked up, his eyes smiling. “I’m good.”

“Glad to hear it. What can I get you to drink?”

“I guess it’s getting too warm for hot cocoa?” He smiled sheepishly, which was adorable, if you weren’t trying to be immune to that kind of thing.

I shook my head. “Not if that’s what sounds good to you,” I replied.

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