Page 30 of Class Clown

I gestured for her to come to the window and pointed a few yards away. “I’m talking about him,” I said urgently. “He is following me day and night and it’s wigging me out.”

“Your stalker is a porcupine?” Her voice rose with every word until it was squeaky with incredulity.

My face was grim. “I was not prepared for this. I had no idea it could happen or how to handle it.” I showed her my arm again. “Look. This is only four days. There are probably forty tally marks there. Can you explain that? Do they imprint on people?”

She bit her lips and shook her head. “There are porcupine around every summer, but I didn’t think they stalked people.”

“Because you are not being actively stalked by one.”

She settled herself back on her chair, he eyes sort of distant in thought. Yeah, I recognized that expression. She thought I was losing it and wondered how to be kind about it.

“Listen, Kristy, I know how it sounds, which is why I haven’t said anything to anyone until I had a chance to prove my theory. But you have to admit the data is pretty startling.”

She sighed and looked at me. “It’s definitely strange.”

“You didn’t even know he existed, and I’m seeing him everywhere. Why?”

She shook her head. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to over react, but honestly, do they have rabies? Do they attack people? Is this some territorial thing? I have no WiFi. I can’t look this information up, so I’m left inside my own brain swirling around and unsure if it’s a phase he’ll grow out of, or if I need to change my scented lotion or something.”

She sat up straight again and nodded. “Okay, okay. You’re right. It’s odd and we don’t have answers, but we can find them. In the meantime, maybe carry some pepper spray or something to be safe? In case he raises his quills again?”

“I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve heard they can launch their quills pretty far. I do not need a quill to the face.”

“Can we go to Cole’s office and use his WiFi so we can at least stop flipping out about this?” she asked, standing abruptly.

I followed suit, shutting the book I’d been reading and looking out the window once more to check. Yep, the rotund little rodent was still lounging only ten feet away.

“They don’t eat meat, right?” I asked as I rounded the desk.

Kristy grabbed my arm. “Oh my gosh, no more questions until we get online and can put this all to rest.”

We left a note on the health center door saying we’d be back in ten minutes, set a timer on my watch, and then Kristy basically dragged me out of the health center, and down the stairs, before ushering me along the short path to the main lodge where Cole’s office was. At one point she looked behind us and gave a squeak.

“He’s following us,” she said.

I pulled my pen out of my back pocket and added a tally mark to my arm. “Told you.”

“I swear, he’s actually watching us. Is he a mutant?” She picked up the pace and I followed at high speed until we were up the steps and through the lodge door. “That was really weird.”

“Bet you ten bucks we get to Cole’s office and he’s sitting outside the window,” I replied confidently.

She glanced worriedly at me. “No way.”

“Way.”

Cole’s office door was shut, but no one answered when we knocked, so we let ourselves in. Sister privilege is a real thing and I wasn’t above using it. I sat down behind his desk and Kristy walked straight to the window where she made another “eek” sound.

“He’s there,” she whined, pointing.

I made another tally mark on my arm. “I’m telling you, the scientific method works. We have a full-on stalker situation.”

She came to stand next to me as I realized I’d left my phone in the health center, but Kristy had hers, so we moved to that. We huddled close as she connected to the WiFi, looking like conjoined twins who were up to no good.

“What are you doing?” Cole’s voice started us both and we screamed bloody murder, which had him stepping back and holding up his hands, his clipboard nearly hitting him in the head. “I don’t have an ax or a chain saw, I promise,” he cracked. “What has you two so spooked?”

“Ruby has a stalker,” Kristy supplied while she tapped at her phone screen. “We’re looking up information on risks she should be aware of.”

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