Page 35 of The Risks of Reuniting

"Um, is there something going on between you two?" Rachelle asks when I look up.

Her expression is serious, not the usual teasing she's so fond of, and Chloe pulls back slightly, blinking rapidly, first up at me and then at Rachelle and Emilia, and lastly, at Cesar who looks confused.

"No," she says, her voice shell-shocked. "No."

The second time she denies it, it makes me mad. My emotions are still unsteady, but the one thing I do know is that this woman is mine, and I'm done pretending otherwise.

"Yes," I state firmly. I make eye contact with Rachelle, and then Cesar, and then Emilia before looking straight at Chloe. "I'm in love with her."

Chloe tears herself away from me and shakes her head rapidly. "What?"

I keep my eyes on her and nod once. "You heard me."

"Oh my gosh," Rachelle gasps.

"He's just reacting to a heated situation. He doesn't mean it." Chloe looks at Rachelle and points at me with a forced eye roll.

"No, I'm not," I state again. "I'm still in love with you."

She shakes her head until I'm convinced she's made herself dizzy with denial. "Stop saying that."

I hate the tears that spring to her eyes, and if she'd let me wipe them away I would. I'd hold her tight and never let go. The panic in her expression guts me, but I keep my distance while holding firm.

"What is this?" Cesar asks, clearly as surprised as Rachelle. "You love her?"

"Holt loves Chloe," Emilia says clearly, and even though her voice isn't loud, it carries.

"He does not," Chloe repeats, her voice raspy with emotion.

"I do," I reply, my voice strong. "I never stopped." I point down the hill at the bright yellow church we just left. "I would have married you in a church like that. I would have made promises before God, Chloe, and meant them."

The group gasps. I've gone too far, I've said too much. Chloe's entire face falls and she grimaces as she hugs her arm close again, blood dripping on the dirt at her feet.

"Stop, Holt," she says, her face shuttering on me. "Please."

I hold up my hands, defeated. I take a few breaths to steady myself and I step forward. "Let's get you to the clinic."

Cesar looks at me and shakes his head before I can reach for her. Emilia and Rachelle move to Chloe's side and each wrap an arm around her, guiding her up the hill and away from me. Always away from me, when all I want is for her to be mine.

Chapter 14

Chloe

It'sofficial.Ihavemy first set of stitches, and they hurt. I lie in bed Sunday night looking down at the line of black crawling across the top of my left forearm. I'll have a scar. The doctor didn't even try to pretend I won't. Emilia had prepped me well on the hike back to the Center, and I understood fully that there were no plastic surgeons on site. It doesn't really bother me. I'll have a cool story some day.

As far as Holt goes, I didn't have it in me to fight when he insisted on being in the clinic with me. His presence was both comforting and haunting. He respectfully stayed quiet, and I didn't push back when he insisted on walking with me and Rachelle to our room afterwards. He was genuinely freaking out over the attack, and I know it threw him for a loop. It hit me hard too. I do believe that in the heat of that moment he meant what he said, but I think he'll regret it overnight, and I plan to forgive him for his momentary insanity, and move on.

That said, I'm having a hard time pretending the words didn't cut deep. Especially the part about marrying me. It hurts almost as much as my arm does. Because sitting next to Holt in church had not been a bad thing. It had felt familiar and lovely, and . . . I would have married him too.

When we reached the door to our room and Rachelle had gone inside, I held Holt's eyes for a quiet moment.

"Please, please tell me if you need something tonight," he'd whispered.

My lips had tugged up. "Only if you promise to go back and let the doctor look at your eyes," I'd responded, and then watched as he nodded and headed back in the direction of the clinic.

Rachelle hasn't left my side, and she's so great, but right now I feel really lonely. I'm missing my people. I want my mom scuttling about in her dramatic way, and my dad telling me all the ways I could have avoided it, and even Gavin cracking terrible jokes. I want Grandma Sue with her fancy perfume and her twinkling rings, and Allie making me my favorite brownies, and my cousins. I want them all.

I take a picture of my gnarly-looking arm and send it to my cousin group chat. My hands are still shaky and I wonder how long that will take to go away.

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