Page 76 of The Risks of Reuniting

"Who said anything about long distance?" I ask.

The room is quiet as Sandra and Holt regard me with wide eyes. Victor smiles, leaning back in his seat and crossing his big arms.

"But . . ." Holt slides back so that he can see me better. "I thought . . ."

"Did Allie put you up to this with her butterknife treatment?" I ask. Guilt touches his eyes and I tense. "What, exactly, did she say?"

"She informed me – and she's not wrong – that if I'm serious about this relationship I'd better be prepared to give up Chapel Hill."

I groan. "She doesn't get to decide what we do." I point at him. "And neither do you. We're supposed to have a discussion."

"Well, last year we had a million discussions and in the end I lost you," Holt replies, taking his hand off my knee to fold his arms. "So, this time around I want it to be clear that you come first."

"I appreciate the thought, but you're doing the same thing in a different way," I respond, folding my own arms. Sandra and Victor both get up and silently leave the room, and a wave of embarrassment steals my thunder for a moment. This should have been a private conversation. I puff out a breath and look at him once they're gone. "Look, I'm happy that you say you'd like to explore possibilities, but it feels like you've already landed on a decision – without me, again. This time it's Salt Lake rather than North Carolina, but it's just the other side of the same coin." I wish I had a butterknife to point at him right now, but I poke at his calf with my toes. "You can't do that any more. Same team."

Frustration, guilt, and then resignation flash across his face. "I did it again."

"You did."

He nods and sits up straighter, unfolding his arms. "All right. I'm a big dumb ox, but I can learn. So . . .rewinding and setting a new scene. It's only the two of us here, what are your thoughts?"

I uncross my own arms, lowering my defenses. "Leaving Chapel Hill when you're already in the program seems unwise," I say thoughtfully. "True?"

He sighs. "I hesitate to admit that, because I want you to know I'm committed to figuring out a solution."

I reach for his hand. "I appreciate that, love, but this isn't a solution for only you. We have to talk it out together."

"I'm afraid you'll shut me out again," he admits, and my heart lurches.

"I did do that, didn't I?" I ask, my voice soft with regret.

He only nods and then I'm moving from seated to kneeling to wrapping my arms around his neck as I slide into his lap.

"To your defense, I didn't really present it as a discussion, I sort of informed you that I'd be going to Chapel Hill and wanted you to come," he says, gathering me close with his arms around my waist.

"Mistakes were made," I reply softly, tucking myself in close. I need the contact. It hurt being away from him for so long. Same team means same seat on the couch, as far as I'm concerned. "We spent all our time fighting for our own stance, and seeing only problems rather than solutions. So, let's redo it."

"Alright. Have the talk we should have had last year?"

"I like that," I say.

He clears his throat and settles deep into the back of the couch, holding me close.

"Interesting news, baby," he says, his hand lightly skimming my side. "I applied to both the U and Chapel Hill and was accepted at both."

"Really?" I press a kiss to his neck, under his jaw where he's freshly shaved, and his hand pauses before starting to move again. "I didn't know you were applying somewhere other than the U. What made you do that?"

His other hand moves to my knee and he circles my knee-cap lightly. It tickles but I hold still. "Chapel Hill has a great program, and I thought it would be good for me to have two colleges under my name. Also, we're surrounded by family here and I wondered if maybe it would be nice for our relationship to have a little adventure, and really solidify as a couple away from all of that."

I'd been running my fingers over the nape of his neck, but I pause at that. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

He shrugs. "For the same reasons I didn't tell you I'd applied. I'm dumb."

I laugh lightly and resume stroking his neck. "I could see that being good for us."

"Would you ever consider coming with me? If not, I'd rather accept at the U than lose you." He presses a kiss to my head and I lean back to look up at him.

"I'm afraid to leave. I'm a planner and am building a foundation here," I reply.

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