Page 63 of What I Should Have Felt

“Sorry,” he said with a quiet chuckle.

I rubbed my hand against the tender skin, knowing a bruise would form later, and faced the very man standing beside me. “Yeah, everything’s good. Azelie just wanted to stay a little longer with her friends at the bowling alley tonight.”

His shoulders fell, and he nodded. “Good. Good.”

Suspicion crept through my skin, and I tipped my head. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, well, the motion sensors went off at the house, but both of our parents are still at the restaurants. Must’ve been some critter or something.” He ran a hand over his hair.

“We—”

“Ford! Get your ass over here and play a round of pool,” Turk shouted over me, and I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth.

Ford cocked a brow. “Hold on!” he loudly replied without removing his gaze from me. “What were you going to say?” His deep-set eyes intensifiedas if they were staring into every corner of my soul and soaking in every ounce of pleasure from me.

“Nothing. Go hang out with Turk. You haven’t seen him in a while,” I whispered with a subtle nod of my chin.

Ford lingered. Just a moment longer, his gaze clung to mine as his chest expanded and deflated with silent breaths. He was the strokes of paint I hardly saw in the breeze anymore. He reminded me of the silver stars at night and the cotton clouds in the day, adding that adventure onto a canvas filled with one plain color. Our timing had never synced, but at least, as he stood quietly in front of me, our clocks ticked in rhythm with each other right now.

As he turned away, his fingers brushed briefly against mine, and then he was swallowed by the crowd forming around the pool table.

Clearly, no one else had seen his tender touch. No one else had noticed our private and intimate interaction, for if they had, I would’ve never been able to slip away. I needed some time alone with my thoughts, so I drove to the bowling alley, parked, and then simply waited for the hour to be spent.

Chapter 26

FORD

Colette tipped her head and gave me a tight, apologetic smile. “Sorry. Again,” she mouthed as her mom latched her hand around her wrist and dragged her down the hallway. I couldn’t even catch her alone for a moment in what was technically my bedroom to chat. All fucking week. Every time I made any attempt to steal a moment with Colette to at least tell her that I knew Azelie was mine, and that I knew about Liam, I was interrupted or ruined by her parents or Azelie.

Her daughter interrupting us and needing her mom was completely acceptable and only happened twice. But for an entire week, the amount of codependence her parents displayed had my hackles raised—it seemed more and more intentional. All the rage that consumed me in anticipation of when O’Connor would finally strike again boiled against the lid of a very full jar.

And I was struggling to keep that bottle shut. For a week, we’d passed like strangers in the night despite never living so close before.It was as if her parents purposefully monitored every move she made to keep us apart. We couldn’t use any old excuse, either, as to why we were leaving the house, because now they knew we’d be gone at the same time.

I stared at the open doorway as their chatter slithered away behind me. Azelie would be home soon from the final meeting about the fundraiser shit this weekend, which, seeing as it was Wednesday, meant it started in two days.

The window available for me to have a polite and mature, private conversation with Colette was quickly fading. I was trying to be courteous for both Colette and Azelie’s sake, but as I glanced over my shoulder and caught Colette’s mother’s smirk and side eye to me, that glass shattered.

“No,” I said and spun around. Colette and her mom stopped walking as I stalked down the hall. Red danced at the edge of my vision. “Are you that fucking dependent on your grown child? For over a week, I’ve let you drag her away from me when all I've wanted is a single moment for a private conversation.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me that way,” Colette’s mom hissed, and her dad appeared around the corner.

“Or what? What will you fucking do? Force me out again? I’m not some scared, eighteen-year-old kid anymore,” I calmly stated. Too calm. I knew that was never a good sign when my rage was in so much control that I was otherwise utterly relaxed.

Colette’s brows pinched together. “Force you out?” She looked at her mom and dad as they stared at me. “What is he talking about?”

I smiled at her parents and reared my head back. “You know, I wondered how you guys found out all those years ago. The only person whoknew outside of me and Colette was Turk, and he for damn sure hadn’t said anything. If he had, then it would’ve been my parents that would’ve known. Not you two.”

“Known what? What are you talking about?” Colette asked as I glanced at her. This wasn’t how I’d wanted all of this to come out. I had vowed to take the real reason I’d left to the grave, for Colette’s sake. But something snapped. Whatever restraint I’d had on that secret frayed in an instant.

“Nothing, sweetie. He’s talking about nothing,” her mom quickly stated and narrowed her eyes.

“Even now, despite everything and all this time, you’re going to keep up the lie?” I took a step forward. “Was it really all about this fucking restaurant rivalry shit?”

“I did what I had to!” her mother shouted and tore out of her husband’s embrace. She marched up to me and slammed her finger against my chest. I simply stared down at her. “You should’ve stayed gone.”

“What are you going to do this time?” I cocked a brow as Colette snapped out of her shock and stomped forward.

“What the hell is going on?” She wrapped her hand around her mother’s arm and tugged her gently away from me.

---