Page 160 of Crushing Clover

He helped me towel off then dressed me in one of his old T-shirts and a pair of ratty sweatpants.

Rush entered, followed by Saint. Both had been standing right outside the door, waiting for me to be done.

“I’m so sorry. I should have guessed he’d do something to make us reckless,” Saint said, brows lowered. “He wanted to put me in a position where we’d owe him more money. He’s been trying to get us to take a loan for a second location in New York,but we weren’t biting. This was his idea of keeping me indebted to him and under his control.”

The air left my lungs as I searched three pairs of hard eyes.

“No! You took another loan from him?” I demanded. “After all the shit you went through to pay off Cygnet? You should have let him sell me. It wouldn’t have cost you a dime.”

“Don’t fucking talk like that.” Rush’s voice was rough with emotion. “Even if we had to owe him money for the rest of our lives, getting you back would have been worth every fucking penny.” He kissed my forehead. They were all being careful not to manhandle me the way they usually did.

I turned my gaze to Saint.

“I know you don’t like me very much, but I’m not a fucking monster,” he grumbled, glaring at me before he strode out of the room. As he went down to the kitchen, it sounded like he was trying to stomp his boots directly through the stairs.

“But where did you get the money? How much do you owe now? I’ll work it off, I swear.”

“There’s no new loan. Don’t worry about it.”

“But the money… Where did it come from?”

Rush shook his head. “Not your problem, baby.”

He headed for the kitchen too, leaving me alone with Lucky.

“What do you need?” Lucky asked, gazing at me earnestly. “Do you want to be alone, do you want to stay here with me, or do you want to come downstairs to bed?”

“He… I…” I swallowed, not wanting to say it out loud.

“Don’t worry about any of us doing anything until you’re ready. Even if you’re never ready, it’s your choice.”

“It might take months.”

“Then it takes months. Do you think we can’t figure out how to amuse ourselves Without getting pissy with you? We need to find you someone to talk to, too, but that can wait until tomorrow, yeah?”

I nodded miserably.

“I need to know, Luck. I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t tell me. How did you guys scrape the money together to get me back?”

He rose from the bed and peeked out the door, as though making sure we were alone. When he came back, he took me by the hand. My heart gave a little tremor of apprehension.

“I’m going to tell you, but you can’t tell them you know yet. They’ll skin me alive.”

If they hadn’t borrowed money from his father, then what? Loan sharks?

“You have to promise not to scream,” he said, voice low.

What the fuck was he talking about?

“Promise.” Dread twisted my stomach.

“We gave him Cygnet.”

All the air left my lungs in one horrible wheeze. I choked, coughed, but managed not to scream as his eyes pleaded with me to control myself.

“I’m not worth that,” I whispered harshly, shaking my head in denial. “Why the fuck would you do that? Why? You guys have worked so hard to get to where you are—worked day and night. It’s everything to you. And you just…gave it to him?”

“It was either that or borrow more money.”

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