Page 12 of Reckless Kiss

My panic began to wind up.

When would I see Esme again? Would she accept Jeffry’s date? How the fuck could I be around them as a couple without losing my mind?

I got an opportunity to find some answers when Esme went to the bar for some water. I followed her, trying to be as casual as possible as I stood beside her.

“It’s good to see you again.”

Her body stiffened and she ever so slowly craned her neck to glance up at me from the corner of her eyes. “I’m not a fuck buddy, Leo. That was a one time thing.”

“I know that. I wasn’t suggesting otherwise.”

She relaxed a little and turned, resting against her gorgeous hip. “Thank you for pretending we’d never met before. I...” she sighed as she looked back at our little group. “I didn’t want to have to explain that.”

That.It was a slap in the face. “They know who I am, what I do, and why I do it.”

“Exactly,” she whispered, her attention still on them instead ofme.

“They wouldn’t have thought differently of you.”

“Wouldn’t they?” She laughed, glancing my way. “Instead of Esme, the anthro from upstairs who eats tacos on Tuesdays, I’d be Esme, the girl who needed Leo to fuck her.”

“Absolutely not.” And it pissed me off that she could ever think that. “My friends aren’t like that.I’mnot like that.”

She bristled. “Everyone’s like that.” Then she shook it off. “You really don’t think they’d care?”

“No. They’re friends with many of my dates. As I just said, my friends know me, what I do, and why I do it.” I might have a lot of dates, and the majority of those dates may come to me specifically for sex, but I wasn’t some scandalous sex toy.

“Whydoyou do it?”

I didn’t answer her immediately. I didn’t want to be emotional or give a kneejerk response to something this important. If I had any chance of getting Esme back in my bed one day I needed to lay the groundwork now.

“I believe connection between human beings is one of the most important and necessary things we need to survive, and that sex is a fundamental ingredient in creating connections. We’re passionate, physical beings. Some of us more so than others. And when you crave intimacy but can’t have it because society has decided that sex is dirty or should only be reserved for a specific place and time, it breaks down that ability to connect, it robs us of the opportunity to fulfill a basic human need for physical contact. I hate that and I decided a long, long time ago that I would be the person who a woman could come to, no questions asked, and be treated like the gorgeous, wonderful,needybeing she is.”

I leaned closer because I wanted her to really hear this part. “Society has turned being needy into a bad thing. A weakness. Anyone who shows need is vulnerable and it should be exploited. We’re ruining each other with attitudes like that. Being needy is part of being human. Being needyisvulnerable but not in a bad way. It’s beautiful and we need to be able to be needy, to be physical, to be satisfied, in order to function. Plain and simple.”

Somewhere in the middle of my impassioned speech, Esme turned white as a sheet. “You’re sure you’re not an anthropologist?”

“Nope. I broker million dollar deals instead of working for pennies.” I liked money entirely too much to ever do something so selfless for society.

My contribution to our greater good was reserved for one act of service and one act alone.

“The paycheck is a problem.” She smiled again, turning her back to the bar. I appreciate your discretion, Leo.”

“It’s all part of the package you get when you spend a night with me.”

You could spend another.It was on the tip of my tongue to point out how many of my dates came back.

“I like your friends. They seem nice.”

My friends were shit assholes for interrupting my conversation without even trying, “They seem to have taken a liking to you.”

“It’s the food truck. The cafeteria in the building is good but boring. When that food truck started coming around it’s like we all remembered we could go outside. Our departments all hang out but it had been a while since we really did anything.”

“Food brings people together.” It was one of the reasons I always took my dates to dinner.

She glanced at me. I wanted to capture that gaze and hold on to it, force her to keep those eyes on me and never look away. But I didn’t move. I held still and waited for whatever it was she had to say.

Her head cocked off to the side a bit. “Do you only do these one-time dates, or do you have a girlfriend too?”

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