Page 71 of Reckless Kiss

She loved me.

She loved me as desperately as I loved her.

“I’ve never been in love before,” she whispered, her hands curling around my forearms. “But I want to keep you safe. Every time I leave you I want to hold on tighter.”

“Jesus, Esme.” My fingers tightened in her hair, pulling her to me. I kissed her as if I might die without her lips. “I want the same thing. Every time you leave I want to go with you. I worry constantly about whether you’re safe. I keep hoping you’ll let me protect you because I no longer know how to live without you.” I never thought I’d be in a relationship let alone fall in love one day, but every fiber of my being felt incomplete without her. I swear my entire life was guided so I could be with her right now.

“I kept hoping everything would disappear,” she whispered. “That if I worked faster I could make it all go away so I could live my life with you.”

Those feelings of dread seized me again. There was a darkness to her words I didn’t like. “It doesn’t matter how hard you work if you’re hiding it in the shadows.” I knew with certainty now that if she ran, I’d follow her. I’d help her fix her problems even if it meant burying some bodies.

“Things are different in the shadows.” Her eyes unfocused. “Everything is gray and lines blur. What you thought was evil is actually good and what you thought was good can really be a monster you never saw coming. The rules are different.”

She was right of course. I spent part of my life in the very same gray areas. I redirected stories, hid affairs, buried arrests. I think she forgot sometimes that my world wasn’t squeaky clean. I worked with angels and monsters, and I knew for sure I was neither end of the spectrum, much to my dismay. “I wanted to be a hero once upon a time.” I tucked her hair behind her ear, took my time studying all the lines of stress on her face as I kissed them away. “But I walk the line too. I’m not nearly as good as you think I am.”

Her gaze snapped back into focus. “You’re not really a hero if you can’t walk down the darkest allies to save the people who need it most. Perfect peoplecan’tbe heroes.” She chewed her lower lip, squeezed my arms. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to escape.”

She would escape. I’d burn the place to the ground; obliterate the shadows with fire before I left her behind. “You can’t stay there, Esme. Monsters only grow in the dark. Things will get worse, not better.”

“But what if,” she whispered, her eyes so haunted and round, “what ifI’mthe monster?”

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