Page 81 of Tempt

I sighed and smiled. I absolutely adored my best friend, but sometimes her social awkwardness was too much to handle. “Yes, I need a hug right now.”

She faked a smile. “I’ll hug you the minute I get off the plane next week.” To others, Elizabeth was confusing. She was gorgeous and brilliant, but she kept to herself and never trusted anyone. She wasn’t a hugger—or even a smiler—most of the time. But when she loved you, she loved you completely.

So when I needed a hug, she gave it to me, even if it was kind of awkward.

“I have a feeling I’ll need it.”

We finished our call and I immediately picked up my phone. Joe was going to need to make U-turn. He picked up on the first ring. “How can I help you?”

I was already on my feet, putting my shoes back on. “I need a ride. I need to see Higgins.”

* * *

Higgins droppedinto a chair at the kitchen table and slid a cigarette from the pack sitting in the middle of the table. By the looks of the ashtray, he’d had quite a week.

“How can I help you?” he said with the cigarette between his lips.

I watched him light it from where I stood. “I’ve just learned a great deal about the building I’m helping Theo renovate.”

Higgins laughed and shook his head, blowing out a stream of smoke before stopping to examine the burning end. “It’s a fucking beautiful mess isn’t it?”

I didn’t know what was so beautiful about it. “Why is he doing this to himself?” For a man who wanted nothing more than to break free of the past, Theo sure wasn’t leaving it alone.

Higgins sat quietly for a minute, puffing on his cigarette, deep in thought. He was wearing an old t-shirt and worn jeans. His hair was messy, like he’d hurriedly brushed it back when I arrived. “It’s how they work, love. They’re too brilliant for their own good.”

“What does that even mean?”

He scratched his chin and leaned forward. “I’m a few years ahead of you. I’ve been riding this train wreck for a long, long time now and I’ve finally come to understand a few things. Nik calls her mind a tapestry.” He wiggled his fingers through the air, sort of like threads being woven together, but a lot less carefully. “Everything that ever was, is part of her life and always will be. The strings all come together. The past is done, the future is a thousand loose threads still waiting to be pulled into their proper place. Theo’s genius is different from Nik’s, but it operates the same way.”

“What?” I practically yelled. I didn’t have time for bullshit. Plus, I was entirely too angry for anything vague. And this, this was pretty fucking vague.

“He’s trying to find salvation,” Higgins sighed. “Or forgiveness. The only way to absolve himself and fix Nicki is to rebuild the place where it all went to shit.”

He had to be kidding me. “That’s ridiculous.”

Higgins shrugged. “I agree. But I also kind of like what he’s doing.”

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Nicki stopped frozen five feet down the hallway. She was out of Higgins sight, but I could see her clearly. Her long dark hair hung in loose waves over her black t-shirt and boxers. Her fingers were black from drawing.

“Why do you like it?” I asked, focusing on Higgins. If Nicki wanted to eavesdrop, I certainly wasn’t going to stop her.

He took another long drag of the cigarette before answering. “What is it you think you know?”

I opened the book and flipped to the pages that contained the articles detailing Nicki’s over dose and set it on the table in front of Higgins. He gazed at the page for a long time as the blood drained from his face. After a while he touched the picture of her, lovingly running his fingers along the edges of her picture. “This was the worst day of my life. Seeing the woman you love die for a few minutes? Knowing you were the reason she died? It’s a miracle they revived her. She shouldn’t be alive. I fucking thanked the cops when they arrested us the next month.”

He pushed the book away and leaned back in his chair. “I love that beautiful mess in the next room…and I’m the one that helped ruin her life.”

Everyone was so tortured by the past. I wanted to help them all, but knew I couldn’t.

“She’s not ruined, Higgins. She’s alive and a brilliant artist.”

“That won’t leave her house and lives trapped inside her head.” He ran his teeth over his lips, looking past me as he got lost in thought. “She was always like that. She’s just like Theo. Their minds are like labyrinths. So many twists and turns. It’s dark and a little haunting. They get lost in there sometimes.”

That I knew from I experience. Theo was lost in his head now. Lost and I couldn’t reach him. My anger at Higgins started to dissolve. Just a little. “How do you get through to them when they’re like this?”

His cheeks flushed—he was both angry and incredibly sad. His face was changing color because he was trying not to lose it. “I’ve had both of them in my life for what? Fifteen, twenty years at this point? And I don’t think I’ve ever been able to get to either of them. It’s fucking ruining me, Allison. I love them both and I can’t do a fucking thing.” He sucked in a quick breath, blowing it out hard, then stamped out the cigarette.

“I think you’ve done more than you realize,” I said, glancing up at Nicki. She was still frozen in the middle of the hallway, but tears were streaming down her face. She looked as haunted as Higgins.

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