Page 1 of How to Seduce a Slender

Once upon a dark alley

“Heygirliepop,areyou Melody Deathless?” A shadowy voice permeated the shadows of King’s Fall way past midnight. Not a streetlamp nor shop sign could pierce the inky dark around Melody as she whirled around. A familiar sidewalk—a well-worn path that her work sneakers carved metaphorical trenches in from how often she treadthisroute at night. She knew every rock, every garbage can, every cat that yowled when she passed. What she didn’t know was who the fuck called her girlie pop…and how the fuck they knew her name.

“Uh?” She searched the abysmal dark for the source. Maybe sixty feet from her apartment, she could feel the night stretch around her. Someone stepped out through the wall to her left.Where there was not a door. Her heart picked up as she stumbled back a step. Hand flying to her back pocket where her box knife stayed permanently, she edged away from the stranger more. “No.”

“Hmm, don’t make this hard girlie.” The glint of a black flame hit her eyes as a dagger was pulled out in the shadows. An unfamiliar cloaked figure held the knife up.

“Don’t make me stab you too, bucko!” She grimaced, hating how shaky her voice sounded. Yet, she ripped out her box knife, holding it just like Line Cook Walter showed her. The old, grizzled knight had a few scars, but he’d survived the Badlands and took pity on the waitress one night.Drunkards are drunkards, no matter the city. She steadied her feet.

Then, something unexpected crawled out from the cloak. The figure held the black flamed dagger before their face and a centipede the size of a python crawled out of their mouth. All their little feet glowing like semen under a black light as it scuttled across a clean-shaven face and back into the cloak.Well, Walter didn’t train me to deal with that.There was no shame in running. Melody booked it. Ripping around on her heels, she bolted down the alley into the night.

The worst part, besides hearing his vicious cackle as he followed, was the whiny voice in her head.No one will mourn you when he carves you like a trout and feeds you to the alley cats.Melody was a poor girl from a poor family. Dead parents who worked themselves to the bone. A dead—no, not dead, missing—twin brother. Her legacy was nothing. Her wallet was worth nothing. Her tips? The pitiful diner tips she gathered at the end of the night would amount to very little.Why me? I am no one! I am nothing!There were better marks in the city.

And yet, for some reason—be it the gross centipede, or the magic blade, or the sliding out of a wall—she didn’t think this was a mugging. Muggers don’t know your name. Alley rats don’t have magic daggers. Petty thieves don’t care who you are; they just want you tohand over the wallet.

This was personal and she didn’t know why.

Melody ripped around a corner, hearing the figure skitter across wet stones in pursuit. She could feel him breathing down her neck. No matter how hard she pumped her arms or pushed her legs, he was a second behind her. That’s when she saw it. Just for a second. A bat, metal and silver, discarded to her right. With his fingers out to snatch her hair, she dropped to her knees and slid through the grimy alley floor. Muck drenched her shins. Her fingers scraped across the concrete, cutting her knuckles to ribbons. But the bat was hers.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t look back. And don’t, whatever you do, go easy on them.

Walter’s raspy voice spurred her on, tears in her eyes as the panic set in, and she fucking swung.Batter batter, bitch.Melody’s bat collided with something and it cracked. Like dry chicken bones, something in the figure’s leg snapped. Melody didn’t stop. Screaming, she raised the bat and brought it down on his crooked knee.Crack!Melody leaned back on her heels, swinging left and right, bringing him down till he was a pile of bones. The centipede poked its head out. Pinchers clicked and she heard the start of a ghostly wail. Melody didn’t hesitate. She bashed his face in, bringing the bat back over her head and slamming it down. The beast screamed like a frightened fox. Curling up in the cloak, it tried to scuttle away but Melody was too fast. Over and over, she bashed what was left of the person’s face in and the shrieking beast.

It wasn’t until the shoes popped off that she stopped. Melody yelped, scrambling to her feet. As she stumbled backward, his feet slapped against the ground. Two large salamanders of dark purple and vomit green crawled out of his shoes. They took one look at her and slapped their wet legs to the concrete, scurrying away. Melody stumbled further. The bat dropped from her hand, clattering to the ground.Oh no.

The body began to unravel. First the fabric of the cloak fell apart like it was ripping at the seams. Thenthingscrawled out of it. Slow at first, then rapidly all at once: rats, roaches, ants, wasps, salamanders, and another centipede burst from the corpse. Unfortunately for her…they began to reassemble. Inch by inch, leg by leg, they clotted together into other writhing things. This time, there was no human face or cloak or shoes. Nothing but melted, mutilated creatures of untold horror. Seven of them stared at her and time stopped. Her heart skipped a beat, leaving her in the lurch of pain and disbelief.There’s no way. There’s no fucking way.Then they all dropped onto all fours in a mockery of a wolf. Snapping maws, made of teeth and dripping goo, barked at her. Melody screamed, running away from the spot and down the last few feet to the apartment building. Inches from the steps, her safe haven just a fingertip length away…something bit into her leg.

Howling in pain, she dropped to the scum covered alley floor. Her fingers dug into the cracks of the ground around her.No…no…please no.She wouldn’t go down like this! She did not survive this long, all alone, to die in the teeth of some monstrous thing.

Melody Deathless would live up to her name.

She grunted, kicking into the jaw of the thing biting her. A sickening crunch echoed in her ears as she kept kicking until it collapsed away from her. Scrambling, hand over bloody foot, she bolted away from her apartment…and away from the city. She blindly raced through barely lit alleys, across streets, and sprang into the mouth of the haunted forest. There was no stopping. Not with the horror at her heels.

“Haveagoodnight,gentlemen.” Smith bowed his head to the few council members and assistants still burning the midnight oil. He hadn’t meant to stay out past midnight, but it had been a busy year. Much to do. Paperwork to file, business licenses to hunt down, loose ends to tie up, Smith had been avery busySlender. After the absolute madness of last year, the Rosemont family was still recovering.They had fought an eldritch abomination, after all.Not many people can say they fought and killed a horrifying god. But that’s what happens when one works for a Lich. Smith had no idea that a simple “that sounds like fun, I’m in” agreement with Sebastian would lead to this life…but it had.

Grateful wasn’t even a good enough description. Blessed? Could Slender be blessed? Usually they were a bad omen.

“Smith!” Aravis Blightwood called from the front of the council building, ripping Smith from his thoughts. A massive building made of white marble with golden veins, it was a monument to the founders of King’s Fall with working hours. Aravis Blightwood, the Lord Commander, was one of the many leaders that ran King’s Fall. A magical city, advanced in technology and arcana. There were skyscrapers next to potion shops next to ice cream carts. The metropolis for tired adventurers to call home. However, Smith’s domain was outside of King’s Fall. Surrounded by a force field of protective magic, the city was able to soar. Once one stepped just outside that curtain, however, the world was a little darker.Bleaker.That’s where Smith and all those at Rosemont Manor lived. Beyond the protective shield of King’s Fall, beyond where technology could work, and signal died.

Aravis waited at the front of the council building, donning his cloak. “Headed home?”

“I am, I hope you are too…if not your loved ones will be most upset,” Smith teased with a wiggle of his shoulders.

Aravis snorted, rolling his massive, inky eyes. A Fowlst like himself was angular, bird-like, with talons and massive feathered wings. His clawed hands closed the clasp on his collar. “Hazel spent most of the day here in my office with me, and Serias was on call this week with the protector’s guild, but I am off for three days starting now, so…I wouldn’t worry about me.”

Smith grinned even though Aravis couldn’t see it. “Have a good night, Lord Commander.”

“Night, Mr. Smith.”

The Slender bowed to the Fowlst before ducking out into the crisp, wintery air. Despite the magic that made the city perpetually sunny during the day, wizards still couldn’t keep the seasons from coming. A bitter wind rolled across the sidewalk and nipped at Smith’s body. Even a creature of pure electricity and nightmares could feel the ache. He pulled the large trench coat out of his endless portal briefcase and tugged it over his body. Despite how fast he could reappear at home, he took the scenic route home…just in hopes.

Usually she didn’t work this late, but he’d caught her a few times staying late to help out another waitress or pulling a double for the tips. Down the street from the council building, he slowed his long-legged stroll to a lazy pace to peek inside the massive, dirty windows of the Cornerstone Diner. His favorite waitress was nowhere to be seen.Drats.

“Just missed her,” the greasy line cook snickered from the side of the building. Smith jumped in his ‘skin’, wrenching his attention to the satyr in a hair net.

“Oh, well, that’s too bad.” Smith felt the burn of a blush even though Slender can’t flush. He didn’t have skin like humans or elves, or his pretty waitress had flesh. He was sure there was flesh somewhere on him, some part of him that was tangible to the touch.

“Tabby’s in there if yous want coffee?” The line cook cocked a fluffy brow at him.

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