Page 120 of Disharmony

Cookie shrugs. “I’m asexual.”

“Oh,” I say, then smile. “Well, that figures then…”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” she asks, twirling a dread nervously around her finger.

“There are a lot of things you do that I think are weird,” I say, starting to count them off on my fingers, “like coloring your hair every other day, counting how many bad dreams you’ve caught in your dream catcher, and carrying your binder around everywhere. But your sexuality? Not weird at all.”

Cookie laughs, more relaxed again. “I always used to think I was weird. I could see that guys or girls were hot, but I just never got the urge other people did to want to rip their clothes off. I don’t think sex is bad or anything, but it’s just never interested me. I like hanging out and going on dates, but sex? It’s not for me.” She shakes her head. “Who knows? I could be demisexual, but I’ll never know unless I meet the right person, and I can’t imagine myself ever feeling like I want to have sex, even if I had a really strong emotional connection.”

“You don’t ever have to worry about feeling judged around me,” I say, happy that Cookie feels like she’s able to open up about something that’s difficult for her to talk about. “I may not know exactly how you feel, but I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

She smiles. “Thanks, Ash. I knew you’d understand. Speaking of sex,” Cookie pauses for dramatic effect. “Did you and Ripper—”

“You can’t just ask that!”

“You didn’t even let me finish my sentence,” she says with a smirk. “So, you did then.”

Singing onstage with the Basilisks overshadowed any other questions Cookie had about my time with them, and I’ve skirted around the subject whenever she’s asked more before.

I sigh and don’t bother denying it. “It’s complicated…”

She jumps on the end of my bed. “Did he look as good under his mask as you were expecting?”

“Even if I knew I wouldn’t tell you,” I reply.

“He didn’t take it off?” She frowns in confusion. “Wasn’t that a little… strange? I mean, sex in general is weird to me, but didn’t you want to know what he looks like?”

“Seeing their faces doesn’t matter to me.”

She nudges me in the ribs playfully. “It didn’t stop you riding that dick either.”

“Cookie!”

“Alright, alright.” Cookie jumps up, holding her arms in the air in defeat. “I’ll stop, okay. I don’t need or want the details.”

I roll my eyes. I’ve never had a girlfriend to talk about stuff like this with, but it’s nice to have someone.

“Are you ready for the final rehearsal?” she asks. “You’ve been killing it out there, even Tiffany hasn’t said anything to you the last few days.”

She’s right. Since Tiffany’s initial sulk over discovering I got a solo, she slipped into reluctant acceptance. I overheard her telling the Lockets that one verse from Video Girl isn’t going to change anything, and I agree with her. Still, my presence might be enough for an industry professional to take an interest in me and secure a potential deal.

The thought of singing live on national TV doesn’t bother me as much as the professionals’ opinions. My face has already been streamed across the globe online, but strangers don’t open doors or have the power to stop me from returning to Meadow Springs.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I say.

“After the final rehearsal, everyone goes out to the woods to celebrate,” Cookie says. “First-years usually get wasted. It’s a Camp Harmony rite of passage.”

“I’m glad I came here in my third year,” I reply.

* * *

“Places everyone!” McCallister’s voice echoes from the megaphone. “From the top!”

After our practices, we can all perform the act in our sleep. My body moves involuntarily to the music. McCallister is a huge pain in the ass, but I can see why he’s taught here for years. His grueling methods get results.

For the first two songs, Tiffany is the lead soloist. Me and three backing singers—all loyal Locket members—chirp back her sentences and dance. Both songs have been written by the twins, and they’re incredible. Their lyrics are my favorite part of the entire show.

The lighting and production team have done an incredible job too. Although I can’t fully see what’s being shown on the big screen behind us, the glimpses I catch are visually stunning. Shadowy dancing pixel figures make it look like there is a small army standing on stage.

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