I hope they’re watching.
The song ends, and I sway on my feet, light-headed and drained. I’ve given everything I have. I drop the mic without stopping to look at the audience, then turn and flee the stage.
“Ash!” Cookie shouts after me as I break into a run.
I throw out my earpiece and head into the safety of the trees, only stopping when I’m certain I’ll be hidden from view. I catch my breath, sliding down the tree until I’m curled at the bottom of it. Tears pour down my cheeks, and I’m not sure why, but I’m only starting to realize the gravity of what I’ve done.
“Ash?” Cookie catches up with me and kneels down. Her voice sounds far away, but she puts her arms around my shoulders to steady me. “Can you hear that?”
“Hear what?” I murmur.
She holds a finger to her lips, then I hear it.
Crashing applause and cheers.
“All of that,” she says, pointing back to the big stage, “is for you.”
I blink away my tears, and Cookie wipes away the streaks of mascara with her finger.
“You need to come back,” she urges, holding out her hand. “You trust me, don’t you?”
I take it, letting her pull me onto my feet.
When Mom died, I didn’t talk about how it made me feel. I bottled everything up, finding relief in cutting and then… that night I swallowed the pills, I was looking for a way out. I can’t keep running anymore. I have to face reality, no matter what is in store.
“I’ll be right here with you,” Cookie says, leading me back to the main stage where the other campers are waiting.
They all stare, but not with malice or hatred. They are shocked, sure, but there’s something else in their eyes. Could it be respect?
Tiffany sits hunched in a chair cradling her head in her hands. Her head snaps up, and she throws me a look of pure hatred. I want to say something and tell her she’s finally got what she deserves, but I can’t bring myself to. I’m drained. The show has taken everything from me. I’ve already made my statement. I don’t need to lower myself to her level.
“You need to go back onstage with all of the performers. The Lionhearts are going to announce the winner,” Cookie says, then drops her voice to a whisper. “You have to finish this.”
I nod and follow the other campers’ elaborate, glittery costumes back onto the main stage. I stick out among them, and for the first time this summer, I’m okay with that. If people don’t like me, they can shove their opinions up their ass.
Stark white spotlights shine on us like specimens in a petri dish. Instead of being watched by scientists, we are being viewed by millions of people across the world.
“What a show that was!” Jacinta, one of the Popstarz judges, says as a camera focuses on her. “I don’t think we’ve ever seen a show like that from Camp Harmony before!”
“We always like to keep things fresh and exciting.” Jacqueline plasters a fake smile over her face. “We took tonight’s show in a new, experimental direction.”
“Tell us more about the photographs in the background,” Jin, the other judge, asks. “What story were they telling?”
“It was a touching tribute to our talented camp alumna, Riley Stanforth, who had a tragic accident,” Jacqueline says sincerely. “We dedicate this performance to her.”
I grit my teeth. Yeah, an accident she covered up. An accident she hoped no one would ever find out about but is happy to exploit when it’s for her personal gain.
Jacinta puts a hand to her chest. “How moving!”
Jacqueline nods, then stares straight into the lens of the camera to address the viewers. “We are a family here at Camp Harmony.”
“A family we’re all happy to be part of for tonight,” Jin says. He loves cheesy lines. “Now, it’s time to hand it over to this year’s camp mentors, the Lionhearts, for the moment the performers are waiting for.”
Cameras pan from one side of the stage to the other, moving along the line of us to get a shot of each of our faces. Zach, Damon, and Levi enter the stage from the opposite side.
“We don’t envy the judges for having to make this choice!” Zach says with a sparkling smile, which makes me fight back a scowl. “But there can only be one winner tonight.”
Damon nods in agreement and pulls a golden envelope out of his jacket pocket theatrically. “In this envelope, we have the name of the artist who will be competing in Popstarz next season.”