Page 20 of Disharmony

“To be the best I can be.”

“Everyone here is the best.” Jacqueline frowns, then her eyes lock me in an intense stare that makes it hard to look away. “You’ve applied to come here for the past three years but have never been successful. Why do you think that is?”

“I wasn’t what you were looking for?”

“I remember being your age,” she says wistfully. “Wanting to do it one way, but the world wanting you to do another. How did it feel to have your dreams dashed and brought back to life?”

“Like I’ll do whatever it takes,” I reply. I mean, I’ve already sung Taylor Swift in front of actual human beings. Surely, that demonstrates how committed I am to music?

“I’m glad to hear it.” Jacqueline smiles. “That’s what Camp Harmony is about. Having hunger. A hunger to succeed and do anything to make it, whatever it takes. The only people who make it in this business do. Take the Lionhearts, for example. I’ve seen plenty of boy bands come through these gates over the years, but none of them have become as successful. Why do you think that is?”

“Because they had the hunger?” I suggest.

This is turning into a motivation class over a meeting about my musical development.

“Exactly.” She looks at me in a way that leaves no place to hide. She has the ability to make you feel like you’re the only person in the room. “You have potential, Ashley, so don’t waste time on what isn’t going to make you a star. Remember why you are here and why we chose you this time. You wouldn’t want to get lost in the noise. Can you do that? Are you ready to do that?”

“Yes,” I say. “I’m ready.”

“Good,” Jacqueline says, whatever she sees reflected in my face must have satisfied her. “Now, run along to your next lesson.”

I leave uneasy, unable to decide whether the purpose of our conversation was for her to give positive encouragement or a warning. On television, Jacqueline comes across as powerful and all-knowing. When she talks in person, she stares straight into your soul like a power-hungry vampire, readying to suck out all of your energy… or maybe, I’m losing my mind after a long day.

six

Ash

“How did your first day go?” Cookie asks as I stumble into our cabin after a grueling three-hour street dance workshop.

My hair is plastered to my face, and my limbs ache like I’ve just ran a marathon. Although exhausting, dancing was easier than my first singing lesson. I can tune out everything else when focusing on moves and counting in eights like a meditative mantra. It also helps that Tiffany isn’t in the same class; no doubt, she’s in an advanced workshop or having one-on-one tutoring … not that I’m complaining. I don’t want to deal with another bitchy showdown.

“Fine,” I lie. Well, as fine as a human voodoo doll after getting pins pushed into them all day. “Yep, all fine.”

“Are you sure about that? You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.” Cookie raises her eyebrows at my act. “You seem a little… on edge.”

I groan and collapse onto my bed. “Okay, maybe it wasn’t that great.”

Coming to Camp Harmony was always going to be tough. Expectations are high, and my little experience is only highlighted by the fact some campers are making it clear I don’t belong.

Her eyebrows crease in genuine concern. “What happened?”

“For a start, McCallister hates me. Levi fucking York picked up one of my tampons, and to top it all off? Jacqueline called me to a meeting in her office. It was weirdly intense, and…” I stop myself before I spiral. She hasn’t signed up to be my therapist. Plus, she’s one of the only people who has been nice to me, and I don’t want to unload my shit onto her. She has herself to worry about. “Sorry, Cookie, I know you didn’t ask to hear any of this.”

“Look, I don’t even know half of what you’ve just said or how a tampon comes into it, but camp can be tough. There’s always an adjustment period.” She speaks in a soft voice and comes to sit next to me on the bed. “Trust me, back in my first summer here, I wanted to pack my bags after the first week. I was a total mess. But I didn’t. I stayed, and it got better. It takes time, okay? You have to hang in there.”

“I’ll try.”

It’s not like it can get any worse.

“You can do this, Ash,” Cookie reassures. “You deserve your place here. You wouldn’t have got in otherwise.”

I bite my tongue to stop myself from telling her about the three rejections I had previously. I’m here because of a fluke, but she doesn’t need to know. Out of all the thousands of hopefuls who applied, I’ve been given a scholarship based on a performance that wasn’t authentic.

Cookie jumps up suddenly. “I know something that might cheer you up.”

“Has McCallister been arrested and locked away forever?” I hope so. Bonus points for him being replaced by a rock legend with an appreciation for a wide range of music genres.

“You wish. He’s an institution around here, he’s not going anywhere.” She laughs. A girl can dream. “There’s a campfire at the lake tonight. Everyone goes along. It’s pretty neat, actually. We can hang out on the beach, chill out and forget about the shit day you’ve had. We’re here to work hard, but there’s more to camp than spending days slaving away in a recording studio.”

---