Page 7 of Disharmony

“How are you feeling about it?” he asks. “You know, now your dreams are coming true.”

“I keep pinching myself,” I admit. The past week has felt like a movie. I won’t believe it until I’m actually there. “Without you, I’d still be here crying into my pillow being a pain in your ass all summer.”

“But you’d still be here.”

“Hey.” I nudge him playfully in the ribs, but his serious expression doesn’t budge. Usually, he’d push me back and start a tickle war. Something feels different this time. “It’s only a few months.”

He frowns, looking away. “For now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“A few months is all it takes. You’ve said it yourself, Ash,” Brick says, inclining his head to look at his hands wringing in his lap. “When you get out, you don’t want to come back. That’s what happens to everyone when they leave this town.”

“I’m not leaving forever,” I insist. Although, there is truth in what he’s saying. Historically, everyone who leaves town never comes back. It’s like a spell. If you break it quick enough, you’ll never succumb again, but if you don’t get out, you’re stuck for eternity. “Whatever happens, I’ve got you and Dad. I’ll always come back to visit.”

“It won’t be the same.” There’s a coldness to his voice I’ve never heard before. “It’ll be different.”

“Maybe, but is different really so bad?” I ask. Neither of us know what’s going to happen. Camp Harmony could send me away as soon as they find out I’m not the person they think I am. “Whatever happens, it won’t change things between us.”

“When you come back again, you’ll see things differently,” Brick says. “You’ll see us differently. You’ll change.”

“Things can’t always stay the same, Brick.” I exhale to blow a strand of hair out of my face. “High school is over, remember? We can do whatever we want, go wherever we want. That’s the fun of it.”

“I like it here,” he murmurs, “with you.”

“Since when do you get all sentimental?” I laugh it off. “Phones exist. We can still talk all the time.”

Brick runs a hand through his floppy hair. “Look, if I don’t say this now before you go and everything changes, then I’ll kick myself. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Is everything okay?” I frown. His behavior is completely out of character. Brick is always joking around and never takes anything too seriously. “You’re freaking me out now.”

“Have you ever wondered why I haven’t really dated much? Well, not seriously anyway,” he says. He shuffles in his seat, then turns to face me. “It’s because there’s only ever been one girl that I’ve ever liked. One girl who has been my—”

“Don’t.” I stop him before he says anything. I think I know what’s coming, but I can’t hear it. I don’t want to. “Don’t say anything stupid.”

“But you don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“I don’t want you to say something we’ll both regret,” I say gently. “Don’t say anything that’ll fuck things up.”

There’s never been awkwardness between us… until now. Brick has fooled around with girls before but cut them loose before anything developed into a relationship—much to their disappointment. Sometimes I wondered why he never wanted to commit, but I never asked him why. Maybe it’s because a small part of me was scared of what the answer would be.

“It doesn’t have to—”

“But it will,” I interrupt. When I look into his eyes, I see the little kid who I used to make mud pies with a few feet from where we’re sitting. Brick’s attractive—anyone with eyes can see that—but he’s just my Brick. My friend. “Please, Brick. Don’t.”

“You don’t feel the same way about me, do you?”

Just like that, he’s changed a lifetime of platonic friendship in one sentence.

I don’t know whether to punch him in the nose, shake him, or burst into tears. Instead, words tumble out in a jumble. I want to say something to make it better, but I can’t lie. I care about him too much to do that.

“Brick, I care about you…” I stammer. “I do… I… It’s just…”

Brick Langford is the full package. He has everything. He’s the smart sports star, the charming guy next door, the person who makes me laugh more than anyone else. He has an amazing future ahead of him, but the question is, what doesn’t he have? When you list his amazing qualities, there must be something seriously wrong with me for not wanting to be with him. A thousand other girls would kill to be in my position, but I don’t see him in that way.

“It’s just, what? That I’m not enough for you? That I’m not exciting or adventurous enough?” Brick rises to his feet. “I’m just like this town. It’s not good enough for you either.”

“You know that’s not true.” I grab his arm to pull him back. “You’re my best friend, Brick.”

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